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Thread: How long before you KNEW they were the person?

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    How long before you KNEW they were the person?

    OK guys and dolls how long did you date your SO before you decided they were the person you wanted to spend your life with? Curiosity has me on this one because it seems women decide much quicker than men.

    What say the throbbing brain of Cyburbia?

    *Yes I'm feeling dorky today*
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus Salmissra's avatar
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    Within 6 dates I knew I wanted to date the-man-now-known-as-Mr. Salmissra exclusively, because he felt right and I wanted to see where it would lead. Only a couple of months later we were meeting each other's families, and within a total of 6 months we were talkin' love and planning on living together.

    To hear him tell it, it took only 2 dates to want to date exclusively. Of course, he didn't say anything until I brought it up, but he was quick to agree!
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

  3. #3
    Cyburbian wahday's avatar
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    One date.

    We had met briefly before and she called me for a date (which consisted of walking around Austin with beers in brown paper bags, talking - how romantic!). That was it for me - I was smitten. Its been eleven years now (9 years of marriage) and all is good.
    The purpose of life is a life of purpose

  4. #4
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    It took me exactly six months longer than my wife. And I am made aware of this often But it all worked out for the best so who cares right?
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Greenescapist's avatar
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    It's been a year and a half and I'm happy, but still not sure sometimes.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian craines's avatar
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    I knew the instant we met, though we dated a year before we got married. It will be 14 years this coming august 28th.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian
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    Aw geez took me 4 years, took my wife about 4 days

  8. #8
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    For my ex it was probably the 3rd date....which was a dinner invitation at my house. After dinner he said "I have to marry you." I thought he was kidding, he wasn't. It took me longer to make up my mind, but he was persistent. We were married 8 years and together 9.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  9. #9
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    In the beginning I think my husband was a little more taken with me than I was of him. Probably because I really wasn't interested in being in a long distance relationship. We went to colleges about 4 hours apart and met during holiday break. But a couple days before going back to school (and after about 4 dates together) I was looking into his eyes as we sat on his parents' porch stoop and I actually heard a voice in my head say "this is the guy. you're going to end up marrying him." 3 1/2 years, and a lot of growing up, later we eventually got married. But I did have my doubts on and off through the course of those 3 1/2 years. It wasn't until about 5 months before we got engaged that I knew for sure that he was the guy for me. We've been married for 5 years now.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Brocktoon's avatar
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    I knew Mrs. Brocktoon was the one after three weeks of dating. I spent another year to make sure. She moved in with me after 3 months. On Friday we will have out 5th wedding anniversary.
    "If you don't like change, you're going to like irrelevance even less" General Eric Shinseki

  11. #11
    Cyburbian GISgal's avatar
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    First date we both knew, but we had worked together for about 6 months before our first date.
    “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” - Thomas Edison

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Jeff's avatar
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    before we were even "dating"

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Wow, what a romantic group you all are!

    I had no intuition about it at all - I just waited to see how things would play out without making any assumptions. I'd been burned with my last long-term relationship, because I had thought HE was the man I'd marry... and that thought hadn't even crossed his mind!

    When I got up the courage to say "I love you" for the first time to Mr. Mud Prince and he indicated he felt the same way, I was truly surprised. After a year or two he moved in with me. It was really a matter of convenience, because his lease was expiring and his roommates were moving out, but it was good test of our compatibility. We've been married for 13 years now.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I guess after several months, when we had the "exclusive talk". Although I was getting pretty attached when RJ flew down for the second time because I asked him to escort me to LadyBuc's wedding. (We'd only had 2 dates and I thought, how nice is that!")

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    The King and I met at an October conference. We hung out with a group of mutual friends. We ran into each other again in Nov. at another conference.

    In Jan. I officially was hooked up to internet and had the web available so I made a few calls and figured out how to email him.

    He answered back within the hour and we were off and talking constantly for the next month. I took off one afternoon to stalk him...Just had to drive by and make sure he was where and who he said he was and sure enough he was. No clue that I was coming, my daughter who was whith me grabs the phone and calls him and asks if he wants to meet us at Braums. He is there within 5 minutes. By the time we got together by the first of the next month we knew. There wasn't really any actual discussion about if but when.

    So I guess 4 months.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  16. #16
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    It was something of a two-step process. At the end of the first weekend we spent alone together, I arrived at the conclusion that I was ready, and wanted, to start a relationship with ZG. However, I wasn’t sure what she was looking for so I wanted to remain cautious. Anyway, I guess after the third or fourth time we met up with each other, I decided something permanent would be very nice.



    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    I guess after several months, when we had the "exclusive talk"....
    This discussion followed my earlier enlightenment. I didn't see anyone else after the first weekend.
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  17. #17
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
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    A bit difficult to answer, since my wife of 35 years and I only had one date.

  18. #18
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    I married my high school sweetheart...

    We started dating young, so marriage wasn't even a thought until we started college together. I was notoriously picky when it came to women, so the fact that she made it past the second or third date told me this might be something. I really knew she was it when I told her a bunch of my "baggage" that I hadn't shared with anyone, not even my best friend--and I had told her without thinking twice about it.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  19. #19
    I met the gal for me online (dorky, yes, I admit it, but we had established a common interest then at least), so we had a bit of an advantage. Still, I knew after our first date that she was The One For Me.

    Aaaaaaand then after about a year, I blew it.

    Typically, though, I make decisions very quickly. First impressions mean a TON to me. I've been on dates where I knew within the first five minutes that nothing was going to happen. And I've also met really wonderful folks and known instantly that they're something special.

  20. #20
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Are you meaning to tell me there's some point where you become sure?!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Fat Cat's avatar
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    Fat Cat

    One week after we first met, we were married. She is my soul mate and I worship the ground she walks on.

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    NSFL Warning

    Note: Not Safe For Lovers Warning.....

    First things first.....I have accepted the fact that a person can be in love a number of times. I was in love with each of my wives and at least one sig-other from many moons ago. So, maybe I don't really understand love. I just know that I felt all goopy (word check) when I was in these relationships. They didn't work out because of things I did and because of things they did and because the world moves on and things and people change. That said.....

    Jennifer - My first true love. Instant. I lived on a beach for a summer (just out of high school). To be close to her, I slept on the beach or climbed into docked boats at a marina. A pregnancy (and 1960s mores destroyed the relationship.....she was still in high school.)

    Cynthia - We met in a bar. (Tavern or cocktail lounge, if you wander other threads.) It probably was a short time.....maybe a few weeks or a month. I was on the rebound from my first true love and she saw in me a way to escape a really strange home environment. (13 children, parents with a total of 4 full-time jobs, strong Catholic morals)

    Donna - I was still married to Cynthia, but she felt guilty for cheating and wanting to move on, so she encouraged me to sleep with her best friend, Donna. I fell in love pretty fast......probably within days. Another rebound love? Perhaps. But we had a great marriage for 10 years, a not-so-great marriage for another 5 years. We are still friends.

    Carole - After bouncing around in a number of relationships, I met Carole. It was probably about a year before I fell.....I was forcing myself to "not get attached". When I did fall, I fell hard.....and she cheated and split. My fault? Who the hexx knows. I am still bitter. (Married 1 year.....lived together about 4 years.)

    Katie - It was instant.....and classic.....She was with her physically abusing husband at a great bar on the Ottawa River, in north Toledo.....The Turtle Club. (It is now closed.....how sad.) This was the same bar I met Carole at. (Ack!) Katie and this Bear did not know each other, but a friend that we both had in common, Millie, introduced us. We sat at a table and talked for about 4 hours, her hubbie not caring.....he was just continuing to drink so he could beat and kick Katie again, when they arrived home.

    A friend was driving an all-terrain vehicle on the frozen river and a wheel broke through the ice. He came into the bar, looking for me......and my Toyota 4WD truck, with a "snatch strap" that could pull his vehicle up to shore. I went to help him and Millie rode along.

    "Bear," Millie commented. "Katie really likes you."
    "I really like her."

    A week later she left her abusing spouse.....and the rest.....with some bumps in the road.....is history.

    She still makes me feel goopy.

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  23. #23
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mike gurnee View post
    A bit difficult to answer, since my wife of 35 years and I only had one date.
    That's awesome!

    Quote Originally posted by Bear Up North
    First things first.....I have accepted the fact that a person can be in love a number of times.
    Thankfully, I think you are right. I would hate to have given up on love so young after my divorce. Still looking, but it will come when it's supposed to and not a minute before.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  24. #24
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Fat Cat View post
    One week after we first met, we were married. She is my soul mate and I worship the ground she walks on.
    Well, that's even faster than Mr. SC and I. We married 6 months after our first date. I tell my grown up daughters that unless they are 29 like I was and had had 15 years experience in dating, that you get to a point you know when it's Mister Right.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  25. #25
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I was sure that she was the one when she met my family. She was able to fit right in with my family. It was even to the point that we were all at a bar and the fiancée got up to use the rest room. As soon as the door for the rest room closed, my younger sister leaned over and said, “If you F*#& this up, I am going to kick your A$$”. I think that was a good indication that they liked her too.

    We had been dating for about 3 months. She moved in 10 months later, and we got engaged after dating for two years.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

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