This weekend I realized a new and important rule in marriage:
Rule 801:
It is not a good idea to car pool to an event lasting only an hour (or two) with the in-laws and their parents… you will be late for the remainder of the day and the car trips will not be enjoyable.
When compassion exceeds logic for too long, chaos will ensue. - Unknown
Marriage Rule #7112:Originally posted by michaelskis
Understand that at some point during your marriage you will grow mortally tired of trying to put on a happy face, nodding, and listening to the idiocy that comes spewing forth from one's in-laws mouths. It is only at moments like these that you will truly understand the wisdom/folly behind concealed weapons permits.
People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor
Am I one of those rare people who adores their in-laws??
I think 'Rules of Marriage' would make a great FAC thread, though.
Moderator note:
Suburb Repairman
thread split from Random Thoughts Deserving No Thread of Their Own
"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."
- Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)
Rule 1
Communication is essential… even if it is just notes left on the dog’s collar for each other.
Rule 2
“Yes Dear” is the answer to 98% of the questions… but it is never the answer to “Do these jeans make me look fat?”
When compassion exceeds logic for too long, chaos will ensue. - Unknown
Rule 326: "Well, just do what you want!" does not mean what it sounds like. In fact, it really means to do so at your own, inevitable peril.
Navy collier
USS Cyclops
Avoid in-laws at all cost.
If presented with circumstance in which you shall be trapped in automobile with said in laws, castor oil comes in handy.
To be consumed by you or them?
“Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”
No sweetheart, its your ___ ___ that does. (then run as fast as you can to avoid the closet thing within her reach being thrown at you)
"Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
While there is no marriage contract per se, there's so much fine print it is a wonder any marriage has any chance to succeed.
Off-topic:
I'm one lucky SOB -- my in-laws are the nicest, sweetest people. I truly love 'em 
I have seen
old ships sailing
like swans asleep
I am very fortunate, my mother-in-law is a Saint and when my father-in-law was alive, he was like a dad to me. We used to hunt and fish together. I do not like to hunt and just went along with him because he enjoyed it,
About a year ago, while at a local bar that had an overabundance of very attractive women, wearing very little, Maister commented that really hot women never hit on him until after he was married. It is almost as if the Mighty Wedding Ring is actually a "Chick Magnet." There were several women that would just come up to him, start a conversation about random topics, and even if he wanted to dance. (He did not go)
I wrote it off at the time... until today. A Carmen Diaz looking, 23 year old employee of a major pharmaceutical corporation was hitting on me like I was the last guy on the planet. She sat at the table right next to me in a completely empty fast food restaurant, asking question after question... and continued even though I mentioned the word WIFE a few times. She even mentioned that she eats there often and hopes that she runs into me again. Do you see this phenomenon as well? Or is it just the overwhelming charm of Stan and Stan?
Rule 666
The converse attractive force by the opposite sex is inversely and exponentially proportionate to the lack of or presentation of a wedding ring.
When compassion exceeds logic for too long, chaos will ensue. - Unknown
Rule 256: Whenever possible, chose a spouse whose family lives on a separate continent. It really simplifies in-law problems.
Rule 257: Be sure your spouse has a driver's license before you get the marriage license.
"I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."
~ Otterpop ~
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