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Thread: Unusual Units of Measure

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    Unusual Units of Measure

    Did you know that:

    1 Sh*tload = 7 Hellofalots?
    WALSTIB

  2. #2
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Did you know that:

    The distance between here and Tallahassee is ? About the same from here to Pensacola. For you non-math majors, that means it's a 6-pack from Tallahassee to Pensacola.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Plus
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    the verb RJ is a unit of time -
    either a whole day thus resulting in a 3-day weekend
    or
    at least leaving at lunch time so only a half day.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
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    Formula for determining minimum age of person you can date before it becomes weird:

    [(your current age)/2] + 7
    Back home just in time for hockey season!

  5. #5
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    The voyageurs used to measure distances on the river by smokes = the number of smoke breaks they would take between point A and point B.

    Today, a smoke = the distance you travel in a car with your buddies between when you light up a doobie and when you need to fire up the next one. It is a complex formula that takes into account: 1) the number of people partaking, 2) the potency of the pot, and 3) how big the roller makes his doobies. The music being played can be an additional factor. For example: Pink Floyd or Yes = add one, for mood enhancement.

    New Orleans to Memphis is five or six smokes, generally.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  6. #6
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Coragus View post
    Formula for determining minimum age of person you can date before it becomes weird:

    [(your current age)/2] + 7
    Good to know. Did my math and my wife and I fell within the parameters by about 6 months.

    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    The voyageurs used to measure distances on the river by smokes = the number of smoke breaks they would take between point A and point B.

    Today, a smoke = the distance you travel in a car with your buddies between when you light up a doobie and when you need to fire up the next one. It is a complex formula that takes into account: 1) the number of people partaking, 2) the potency of the pot, and 3) how big the roller makes his doobies. The music being played can be an additional factor. For example: Pink Floyd or Yes = add one, for mood enhancement.

    New Orleans to Memphis is five or six smokes, generally.
    So voyageurs are to toques as stoners are to tokes.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  7. #7
    Cyburbian WSU MUP Student's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Coragus View post
    Formula for determining minimum age of person you can date before it becomes weird:

    [(your current age)/2] + 7


    I guess this means that a 15-year-old can not date a 14-year-old? (well, unless you round up)




    I know that I live 20 minutes away from my office. I have no idea how many miles away I live.
    "Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost." - 1980 Republican presidential candidate Ronald Reagan

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Coragus View post
    Formula for determining minimum age of person you can date before it becomes weird:

    [(your current age)/2] + 7
    Okay - I'll agree with that one (although no more dating in my world)

    Old School: 1 awsh!t = 10 attaboys

    New School: 1 (refuse to become educated on issue) commissioner = many long & tiresome commissioner meetings = comp time = RJing around 2:00 = weekday afternoon golf
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

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    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by WSU MUP Student View post
    II know that I live 20 minutes away from my office. I have no idea how many miles away I live.
    I also measure distance in time, not how many miles to a certain place, but how long it takes to get there.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    My Husbands favorite "If you will just give me a minute" = which is not a measurement of time but rather a "leave me alone"

    The other day = any time in the last month

    A few months back = any time in the last year

    Oh here's another good one. If you write 10/$10 checks it doesn't effect the checking balance. If you write one $100 check it does.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    Measures

    What is the ratio between chronological age and planner age? I'll soon be 60 but I swear I'm at least 97 in planner years.
    WALSTIB

  12. #12
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    The voyageurs used to measure distances on the river by smokes = the number of smoke breaks they would take between point A and point B.
    Spposedly there's old surveys using smokes as a real measurement; it's supposedly the distance traveled at a slow pace on horseback while consuming one filterless cigarette. When you're done with one, light up another immediately and keep on going.

    When I lived in New Mexico, some people would measure driving distance in "beers". Generally there were two to three beers in an hour; thus, a trip from Las Cruces to Albuquerque took about seven to ten beers. There's a good reason why Ohio DWI license plates look just like regular-issue New Mexico plates.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  13. #13
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Whose Yur Planner View post
    I also measure distance in time, not how many miles to a certain place, but how long it takes to get there.
    otterpop's measuring method can cause severe displacements in the time/space continuum, not to mention the need to continually stop for munchies. I'd suggest that you not adopt this alternative.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    trips

    In PA we used to measure fishing trips by 12 packs.
    "where we goin'?"
    "Tionesta."
    "Well that's at least two 12 packs unless we stop at the Dew Drop Inn."

    There's always the "Fir piece." It's not as far as "to hell and back" but at least four "little bits."
    (Jorma Kaukonen guitar player for The Jefferson Airplane has a guitar ranch in southern Ohio called "Fur Peace." http://www.furpeaceranch.com/)
    WALSTIB

  15. #15
    Cyburbian AnvilPartners's avatar
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    Back in the day

    When I used to work for a pharmacy delivering drugs (no joke)

    A dram was a unit of measure for liquid

    now, DRAM is a kind of memory in your computer...

    RES
    "Sometimes you have to get medieval with it...hammer, sparks, sweat, the whole nine yards...so don't forget your asbestos suit."
    Aphorisms on Public Hearings, Planning Guild Handbook (2001).

  16. #16
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    What about a "mess".

    After I smoked a whole mess of weed, I ate a whole mess of double chocolate milano cookies
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Well of course there's a heap.
    How much is a pascel (sp?)?

    Is that like two heaps?
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ofos View post
    otterpop's measuring method can cause severe displacements in the time/space continuum, not to mention the need to continually stop for munchies. I'd suggest that you not adopt this alternative.
    OT The days when I used the "smokes" unit of measurement are, unfortunately, far behind me. Two of the buddies I used to measure with are now gone. I am trying to set a good example for my son and stay in the wife's good graces (you would think a woman from Colombia would be more understanding ).

    But I have never regretted displacements of the time/space continuum. It never seemed to slow us down too much, but sure made the time pass well. Those were halcyon days. We were young and could travel fast and long. I brought my own snacks and only needed a brief pee break at an interstate rest stop or rarely-used on-ramp before getting back on the road.

    Time is relative, and space is only what separates us from where we are and where we will be. The journey is not the destination, but rather the steps you take between the beginning and the end.

    I long for one good road trip with my remaining bud of those good days where time would not of the essence and the distance could be measured in smokes.

    I should call him tonight. See what he is doing this summer.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  19. #19
    Cyburbian AnvilPartners's avatar
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    And of course, who could forget

    The old southern measures --

    The Bushel and The Peck -- both used to describe an amount harvested from a field

    A bushel of corn

    A peck of squash

    RES
    "Sometimes you have to get medieval with it...hammer, sparks, sweat, the whole nine yards...so don't forget your asbestos suit."
    Aphorisms on Public Hearings, Planning Guild Handbook (2001).

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    mess

    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    What about a "mess".

    After I smoked a whole mess of weed, I ate a whole mess of double chocolate milano cookies
    1 Mess = 1.5 lids (reefer)
    1 Mess (cookies, fish) = 5 handfulls
    WALSTIB

  21. #21
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by AnvilPartners View post
    When I used to work for a pharmacy delivering drugs (no joke)
    So how much is a "lid?" Is it a measure of volume or weight? Can I get 100 lids of gasoline, or 20 lids of fajita-cut beef?
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Plus
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    AIB
    Quote Originally posted by Queen B View post
    "If you will just give me a minute."
    Just how long is "Wait a moment" ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by AnvilPartners View post
    The old southern measures --

    The Bushel and The Peck -- both used to describe an amount harvested from a field

    A bushel of corn

    A peck of squash

    RES
    Sweetheart, they still measure crops in bushels.

    How much is a butt load?
    Do you think maybe there are 2 butt loads in a Sh*tload
    Then is Full of Sh*t =4 Sh*tload
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Fat Cat's avatar
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    Fat Cat

    I heard a lot of unusual messages in the military (none that I care to repeat in decent company) but the most unusual related to six thousand miles (nothing that I care to repeat) but still highly unusual and very very imaginative

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Units Of Measure

    In the distribution business "units of measure" can be a real issue.....especially if you are trying to automate the business process (such as with bar code scanners and the like). Example.....

    1 Each Urinal Screen.
    Customer "A" wants to purchase 12-packs.
    Their 12-pack is (for them) 1 Each.
    Customer "B" wants to purchase 24-packs.
    Their 24-pack is (for them) 1 Each.

    Developing a system that is customer-friendly, inventory management accurate, readable and scannable on RF equipment.....a real challenge.
    _____

    Back to the more serious topic-at-hand.....

    Canoes.....When you buy portage maps for canoe/portage trips, such as to Minnesota's superb Boundary Waters Canoe Area, the portage distance (between lakes or streams) is measured in rods. Because a rod is just about the same length as a canoe, we always referred to the portages as "canoes".

    BTW.....if you think you are in good physical shape.....do a canoe/portage trip, Those portages can be almost vertical. You do learn certain tricks, such as using the paddles tied to your canoe to create a resting place for your shoulder.

    Others

    Mork & Mindys'.....Years ago, when my niece traveled, she would ask the usual "Are we there yet?" question. My brother's response was along the lines of
    "Just 4 more Mork & Mindys'", an obvious reference to the 30-minute time slots of that 1970s TV program (that was a favorite of the niece).

    Piper Cub.....Oft-used in anatomy discussions between a man and a woman. Usually the discussion also included another unit of measurement, Airplane Hanger.

    Nobody has mentioned the crude c-word unit of measure. That unit of measure tends to pixx most women (and many men) off.

    Bear

    EDIT; Just remembered another one: Train.....Describes a variable number that references how many men were with "Sally from Bloomdale" on Friday.....usually used in a sentence such as "Sally pulled train."
    Last edited by Bear Up North; 08 Mar 2009 at 10:19 AM. Reason: Sally
    Occupy Cyburbia!

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