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Thread: Things You Would Never Hear Your Mom Say

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Things You Would Never Hear Your Mom Say

    Simple directions for this thread: What are some of the "things you would never hear your Mom say"? This Bear will kick-off this fantasy excursion.....

    "Your Dad and I are going on vacation. Go ahead and have a wild beer party when we are gone."
    "That heavy metal song on the record player is kickin'! Turn it up!"
    "Give your vegetables to the dog. Eat more pies and cakes."
    "Here is the money for your Planning Degree classes."
    "Bring Jenny over today and use the big bed in my room for your sex fun."
    "Here's the keys to your Dad's car. See if you can make the turn on Shoreland Road while going 140 miles an hour."
    "Go ahead and sleep with Mrs. Robinson."



    Your turn. What say you?

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  2. #2
    Cyburbian kalimotxo's avatar
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    "I found this bag of marijuana in your brother's room. Let's smoke it all before he gets home!"
    Process and dismissal. Shelter and location. Everybody wants somewhere.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    "RJ is such a nice boy, let's invite him to go on vacation with us."
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  4. #4
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Like hell you're youre going to medical school to be a doctor! If we've told you once we've told you a thousand times you're going to clown college! You know how much this means to your father!

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Why are you not married yet ?
    and
    Why haven't you given me grandchildren ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    "son, it is okay to bring that flousey home from the bar you met last night and sneak her at the house before dawn."
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    "I really liked your first wife."
    "We need another Kennedy."
    "I'm glad you moved 3,000 miles away. We were seeing too much of you."
    Seldom right, never in doubt

  8. #8
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    I really liked that girl you brought home last Saturday night - who knew the human body could accommodate so many tattoos! By the way, do you ever ride 'bareback', you know, feel all there is to feel? You should try it sometime.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Otis View post
    "I'm glad you moved 3,000 miles away. We were seeing too much of you."
    This one FTW.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    My mom:

    "I won't be late."
    "Just got done changing the oil!"
    "So I just started weightlifting..."
    "I've decided to start looking for a job."
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

  11. #11
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    "I hope you get a job far away from home so we never see you again."
    "I hate you."
    "Could you please not stick around on the weekends and stay at your girlfriend's place as much as possible."
    "I think it would be a good idea if we just celebrated Mother's Day and my birthday on just one day this year. I mean, after all, they fall so close to one another."
    "I really love guns. Maybe you or your father could take me shooting some time."
    "Don't bother buying your grandmother anything for Christmas, Mother's Day, or her birthday. I can take care of that for you."

    Quote Originally posted by Bear Up North
    "That heavy metal song on the record player is kickin'! Turn it up!"
    Actually, my mom might turn the song up herself, especially if it's the Beatles, Stones, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, or something like that.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
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    "I sure am glad to meet your boyfriend!"

    Come to think of it, Mrs. Coragus probably wouldn't say that either!
    Maintaining enthusiasm in the face of crushing apathy.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
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    "Know what I can do with a ping-pong ball?"

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    "Know what I can do with a ping-pong ball?"
    Best response!



    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

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