Things you always find™ at a curmudgeon's house - Cyburbia Forums

Tom R · 2010-07-30, 11:10 AM

Dang'gummit! I demand equal time!
No trespassing signs
Toilet paper in trees
1973 Ford Escort

ofos · 2010-07-30, 11:14 AM

Get away from my house! DId RJ put you up to this?

dandy_warhol · 2010-07-30, 11:16 AM

A thesaurus with a dog ear on the "whippersnapper" page.
A cane, or walking stick, for shaking.

Duke Of Dystopia · 2010-07-30, 11:19 AM

Pellet Gun... Updated to the new Mega air soft sniper rifle with the paint grenade launcher and infrared night scope kit attached to ding those disrespectful whippersnappers at a distance!

Maister · 2010-07-30, 11:24 AM

The lawn neatly edged around all sidewalks and driveay.

Prize winning rose bushes.

Immaculately maintained house

Dan · 2010-07-30, 11:24 AM

* A very well-manicured lawn, the nicest on the block. That's why he's always chasing kids off of it.

* A conveniently located hose to spray kids that dare walk on the sidewalk past the house. (Like Mr. Troidl on the street where I grew up.)

* 1973 Ford Escort? They weren't in the US then. I'm going with a 1995 Buick Roadmaster, powder blue with an aftermarket vinyl roof.

Rumpy Tunanator · 2010-07-30, 11:25 AM

Depends (adult diapers)
Colostomy Bag
Mothballs

ofos · 2010-07-30, 11:27 AM

A white tile floor

luckless pedestrian · 2010-07-30, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ofos

A white tile floor

no, a black and white tiled floor with sea green wall tiles 9 circa 1940's, the last time the bathroom was remodeled

the smell of hot-top that is done religiously (by him) every summer, whether it needs it or not

vertical blinds for peeking through

doilies under the lamps and knick-knacks

plastic on the couch and rugs in high-traffic areas

kjelsadek · 2010-07-30, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by luckless pedestrian

no, a black and white tiled floor with sea green wall tiles 9 circa 1940's, the last time the bathroom was remodeled

the smell of hot-top that is done religiously (by him) every summer, whether it needs it or not

vertical blinds for peeking through

doilies under the lamps and knick-knacks

plastic on the couch and rugs in high-traffic areas

OMG that was my grandmother's house.

JNA · 2010-07-30, 11:55 AM

NO A/C - just window fans.

Rygor · 2010-07-30, 12:07 PM

A rocking chair on the front porch.

A high-powered rifle (for scaring kids off the lawn).

Weedwhacker, hedge trimmer, and riding lawn mower.

An obscene number of hand tools, most over 50 years old.

Tar sealant for the driveway (re-sealed every spring religiously).

Car over 20 years old but in miraculously good shape.

Copy of newspaper that's read every day while sitting on aforementioned rocking chair on the porch while making sure neighbor hoodlums don't get into no good.

Maister · 2010-07-30, 12:15 PM

A Fraternal Order of Police window decal on the storm door window.

A drawer full of those elastic sock garter things

Clear plastic runners placed in the hallway and over the living room carpet across the heavily trafficked portions.

Mastiff · 2010-07-30, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dan

* 1973 Ford Escort? They weren't in the US then. I'm going with a 1995 Buick

I'm going with a 1972 Ford Gran Torino...

chrisinmd · 2010-07-30, 12:51 PM

This is the house that no one goes to on Halloween night its too scary.

Mastiff · 2010-07-30, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chrisinmd

This is the house that no one goes to on Halloween night its too scary.

No way... this was the flaming dog poo target!

JNA · 2010-07-30, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chrisinmd

This is the house that no one goes to on Halloween night its too scary.

AIB the above - NO holiday decorations ever.

Does not even have a yard gnome.

RichmondJake · 2010-07-30, 01:07 PM

Ear and nose hair clippers.

JNA · 2010-07-30, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RichmondJake

Ear and nose hair clippers.

Can't wait to read certain Cyburbian's responses to this.

illinoisplanner · 2010-07-30, 03:20 PM

Slippers
A rolled-up newspaper for beating the dog with
Coffee cake
Lots of prescription drugs and one of those S-M-T-W-T-F-S pill containers
Expired food, candy, and medicine
Lots of household chemicals and cleaners, many of which are no longer manufactured & sold
A TV that is least 20 years old with rabbit ear antennas

2010-07-30, 11:10 AM	#1
Tom R Cyburbian Registered: Jul 2002 Location: Akron Posts: 1,989	Things you always find™ at a curmudgeon's house Dang'gummit! I demand equal time! No trespassing signs Toilet paper in trees 1973 Ford Escort

2010-07-30, 11:14 AM	#2
ofos Cyburbian ne plus ultra Registered: Jul 2006 Location: Slightly Off-Center Posts: 3,690	Get away from my house! DId RJ put you up to this? __________________ "Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, Stuck in the middle with you.” - Stealers Wheel

2010-07-30, 11:19 AM	#4
Duke Of Dystopia Cyburbian Plus Registered: Jul 2003 Location: Cyburbias Brewpub, best seat in the haus! Posts: 2,217	Pellet Gun... Updated to the new Mega air soft sniper rifle with the paint grenade launcher and infrared night scope kit attached to ding those disrespectful whippersnappers at a distance! __________________ I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in DoD

2010-07-30, 11:24 AM	#6
Dan Cyburbia Administrator Registered: Mar 1996 Location: Buffalo, New York Posts: 10,020 Blog entries: 3	* A very well-manicured lawn, the nicest on the block. That's why he's always chasing kids off of it. * A conveniently located hose to spray kids that dare walk on the sidewalk past the house. (Like Mr. Troidl on the street where I grew up.) * 1973 Ford Escort? They weren't in the US then. I'm going with a 1995 Buick Roadmaster, powder blue with an aftermarket vinyl roof. __________________ Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

2010-07-30, 11:25 AM	#7
Rumpy Tunanator Cyburbian Registered: Dec 2003 Location: Intervention Posts: 4,450	Depends (adult diapers) Colostomy Bag Mothballs __________________ A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner." Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

2010-07-30, 11:16 AM	#3
dandy_warhol Cyburbian Plus Registered: Aug 2005 Location: meh. Posts: 4,256	A thesaurus with a dog ear on the "whippersnapper" page. A cane, or walking stick, for shaking.

2010-07-30, 11:24 AM	#5
Maister Chairman of the bored Registered: Feb 2004 Location: on my 15 minute break Posts: 9,248	The lawn neatly edged around all sidewalks and driveay. Prize winning rose bushes. Immaculately maintained house

2010-07-30, 11:27 AM	#8
ofos Cyburbian ne plus ultra Registered: Jul 2006 Location: Slightly Off-Center Posts: 3,690	A white tile floor __________________ "Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am, Stuck in the middle with you.” - Stealers Wheel

2010-07-30, 12:07 PM	#12
Rygor Cyburbian Registered: Jun 2009 Location: Where the Wild Things Are Posts: 564	A rocking chair on the front porch. A high-powered rifle (for scaring kids off the lawn). Weedwhacker, hedge trimmer, and riding lawn mower. An obscene number of hand tools, most over 50 years old. Tar sealant for the driveway (re-sealed every spring religiously). Car over 20 years old but in miraculously good shape. Copy of newspaper that's read every day while sitting on aforementioned rocking chair on the porch while making sure neighbor hoodlums don't get into no good. __________________ "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

2010-07-30, 12:15 PM	#13
Maister Chairman of the bored Registered: Feb 2004 Location: on my 15 minute break Posts: 9,248	A Fraternal Order of Police window decal on the storm door window. A drawer full of those elastic sock garter things Clear plastic runners placed in the hallway and over the living room carpet across the heavily trafficked portions.

2010-07-30, 12:51 PM	#15
chrisinmd Cyburbian Registered: Feb 2004 Location: Near Madness Posts: 317	This is the house that no one goes to on Halloween night its too scary.

2010-07-30, 01:07 PM	#18
RichmondJake Cyburbian Plus Registered: Aug 2001 Location: Can I get my glass topped off? Posts: 12,595	Ear and nose hair clippers. __________________ Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.

2010-07-30, 03:20 PM	#20
illinoisplanner Cyburbian Registered: May 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 2,753	Slippers A rolled-up newspaper for beating the dog with Coffee cake Lots of prescription drugs and one of those S-M-T-W-T-F-S pill containers Expired food, candy, and medicine Lots of household chemicals and cleaners, many of which are no longer manufactured & sold A TV that is least 20 years old with rabbit ear antennas __________________ "I believe that a person's moral compass can be determined by how he references free men the right to defend themselves" -Ted Nugent