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Thread: Horrible, Horrible, Horrible Website Poetry Glurge

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Horrible, Horrible, Horrible Website Poetry Glurge

    http://www.bcpl.net/~mburke/poems.html

    FIRST KISS: CINCO DE MAYO

    11/28/00

    you were telling me how you'd been to mexico once.
    i can't tell you what you said after that.
    your hands in my hair
    your heartbeat in my head
    my smile trembling against your chest
    is all i remember.
    i wanted to crawl into your mouth,
    so i did.

  2. #2
    beautiful

    Originally printed on toilet paper, right?

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Thanks to you Wanigas? my head hurts and I feel like kicking something
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rumpy Tunanator
    I feel like kicking something
    How does this one make you feel? I'm ready to throw-up. { A Detritus of Fame ...is this about Dennis Rodman?! Oh wait, he's on Celebrity Fear Factor!}

    Celebrity

    he wants so bad
    to make a scratch on the face of the world,
    a dent the size of his desire
    for the bright lights
    and brilliant trappings
    of that higher echelon.
    he wants his fingerprints to be felt
    through time,
    his image impressed in the dust
    that will settle
    thousands of years from now.
    he wants it so bad
    that he would hurl himself
    against the cold night sky
    and shatter,
    fall to earth,
    burning bright,
    a detritus of fame.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I think the defining word in that second alleged poem is "hurl".

    Ick.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    That poem made me want to cry.......and hurrllllll
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Planner Groupie's avatar
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    How is this even remotely considered poetry?
    Sounds like mindless pyschobabble to me. Especially that stupid girl one.

  8. #8
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    It might be wrong to say this now, but some of the 9-11 tribute poetry out there on the glurge sites is really bad.

    For example:
    I see a plane...no I see two planes.
    And there are the ghosts of two more....

    They fly low, heavy with sorrow...

    prayers and good-byes unsaid.

    I see a woman…
    running through dust with tears in her eyesglad to be alive, yet afraid more is to come...I see a man with glow stripe raingear go into a burning building....a hero...will they ever find him again?
    Twin icons fall...
    Glass rains like water and rubble chokes like a killer.
    Charred beams and bodies and the cruelty of a few strangers...
    and hundreds run in the street.
    yes they are running from death itself
    .

    Google for "9-11" and "poetry" - 344,000 hits. That's a lot of bad poetry, folks.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  9. #9
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    The free verse has to be the worst invention in the history of poetry. It's certainly posible to create bad poetry without it, but at least the people who couldn't even rhyme were weeded out.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian
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    Make it stop! Make it stop!
    Oh the humanity!
    Those "poems" look like they were taken out off any livejournal page or a Link of the Day from Something Awful...
    Though I see nobody has posted a #3 related "poem"

  11. #11

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    OK. Poetry is one field of "the arts" I will admit leaves me pretty uninspired.

    I love language-good writing, etc. But, I just DON'T GET POETRY period!

    There are a few classics that I can acknowledge are pretty neat, but overall . . . It ain't just the "glurge" that makes me cringe. The stuff in fancy "literary" (The New Yorker, Harper's etc) magazines isn't much better, in my benighted opinion.

    An uneducated barbarian am I.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Rem's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by BKM
    I love language-good writing, etc. But, I just DON'T GET POETRY period!
    If you want to convert - get a book of John Donne sonnets and perservere for about a week. I can't believe they won't leave an impression.

    I think the foregoing glurge poems are simply the early drafts from the infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters trying to write Macbeth. I understand everything is better with monkeys.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rem
    If you want to convert - get a book of John Donne sonnets and perservere for about a week. I can't believe they won't leave an impression.

    I think the foregoing glurge poems are simply the early drafts from the infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters trying to write Macbeth. I understand everything is better with monkeys.
    Donne! Yes - that's the stuff. A few of his poems are among the ones I know by heart. They are great for wooing the ladies.


    COME live with me, and be my love,
    And we will some new pleasures prove
    Of golden sands, and crystal brooks,
    With silken lines and silver hooks.

    There will the river whisp'ring run
    Warm'd by thy eyes, more than the sun ;
    And there th' enamour'd fish will stay,
    Begging themselves they may betray.

    When thou wilt swim in that live bath,
    Each fish, which every channel hath,
    Will amorously to thee swim,
    Gladder to catch thee, than thou him.

    If thou, to be so seen, be'st loth,
    By sun or moon, thou dark'nest both,
    And if myself have leave to see,
    I need not their light, having thee.

    Let others freeze with angling reeds,
    And cut their legs with shells and weeds,
    Or treacherously poor fish beset,
    With strangling snare, or windowy net.

    Let coarse bold hands from slimy nest
    The bedded fish in banks out-wrest ;
    Or curious traitors, sleeve-silk flies,
    Bewitch poor fishes' wand'ring eyes.

    For thee, thou need'st no such deceit,
    For thou thyself art thine own bait :
    That fish, that is not catch'd thereby,
    Alas ! is wiser far than I.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I smell bad Haiku right around the corner!

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Chet
    I smell bad Haiku right around the corner!
    Yeah, what's gonna happen if some other forum gets ahold of the Cyburbia haiku?

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Rem's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cardinal
    Donne! Yes - that's the stuff. A few of his poems are among the ones I know by heart. They are great for wooing the ladies.
    He can also be quite saucy. To think we were deliberatley exposed to this in high school;

    (The Canonization)

    FOR God's sake hold your tongue, and let me love ;
    Or chide my palsy, or my gout ;
    My five gray hairs, or ruin'd fortune flout ;
    With wealth your state, your mind with arts improve ;
    Take you a course, get you a place,
    Observe his Honour, or his Grace ;
    Or the king's real, or his stamp'd face
    Contemplate ; what you will, approve,
    So you will let me love.

    Alas ! alas ! who's injured by my love?
    What merchant's ships have my sighs drown'd?
    Who says my tears have overflow'd his ground?
    When did my colds a forward spring remove?
    When did the heats which my veins fill
    Add one more to the plaguy bill?
    Soldiers find wars, and lawyers find out still
    Litigious men, which quarrels move,
    Though she and I do love.

    Call's what you will, we are made such by love ;
    Call her one, me another fly,
    We're tapers too, and at our own cost die,
    And we in us find th' eagle and the dove.
    The phoenix riddle hath more wit
    By us ; we two being one, are it ;
    So, to one neutral thing both sexes fit.
    We die and rise the same, and prove
    Mysterious by this love.

    We can die by it, if not live by love,
    And if unfit for tomb or hearse
    Our legend be, it will be fit for verse ;
    And if no piece of chronicle we prove,
    We'll build in sonnets pretty rooms ;
    As well a well-wrought urn becomes
    The greatest ashes, as half-acre tombs,
    And by these hymns, all shall approve
    Us canonized for love ;

    And thus invoke us, "You, whom reverend love
    Made one another's hermitage ;
    You, to whom love was peace, that now is rage ;
    Who did the whole world's soul contract, and drove
    Into the glasses of your eyes ;
    So made such mirrors, and such spies,
    That they did all to you epitomize—
    Countries, towns, courts beg from above
    A pattern of your love."

  17. #17
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Philistines! Philistines, every single one of you! This is great poetry…. It’s art, man… It’s expression of the soul. You squares wouldn’t know good poetry if it bit you on the …..




    Seriously, that is some really BAD glurge.
    I'm personally not a big poetry buff. However, I have always liked most of Carl Sandburg's work. We started studing his verse way back when I was in 7th grade and I've been a fan every since.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    If I could compress bad poetry into one key phrase it would be "love most high."

  19. #19
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Only the oldest old-timer Cyburbanites will remember our one-time poet laurelate, Plannibelle. Yes, she actually posted planning poetry. An example (highlight to read) ...


    I watch the limp, soft dirt
    of typical landscapes.
    I yawn in disappointment.
    yet, slowly
    and methodically,
    a foreplay
    of parts assembled
    there rising
    upon this mound.
    beams erect,
    a monolith
    hard and vertical
    impaling the sky
    yelling,
    "I'm here!
    Swallow me you sky!"

    blame me, I had to satisfy
    my planner's erotic jollies
    with a staff report to vanquish
    a corner yawner.
    Now I drool and dream
    a moist pleasure
    to commute past
    my vertical desire
    a thing so big
    and erect,
    so hard
    and large
    oh my!




    What can we planners do about bad poetry? Ban it!

    Last edited by NHPlanner; 16 Apr 2004 at 1:33 PM.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Big Easy King's avatar
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    I had no idea that Cyburbia contained true poets!
    A person who strives is one who thrives. It's GREAT to be THE KING!!!

  21. #21
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    Only the oldest old-timer Cyburbanites will remember our one-time poet laurelate,
    I miss Plannibelle
    Last edited by NHPlanner; 16 Apr 2004 at 1:33 PM.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  22. #22

    Airleas is a legend

    Why in gods name did this creative horny genius leave cyburbia? Anyone know??

    "blame me, I had to satisfy
    my planner's erotic jollies
    with a staff .........
    Now I drool and dream
    a moist pleasure
    to commute past
    my vertical desire
    a thing so big
    and erect,
    so hard
    and large
    oh my!"

  23. #23
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    It's a long and sordid tale, who knows, she may still lurk these halls......
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  24. #24
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    I weep from the loss.
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Rem's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    Only the oldest old-timer Cyburbanites will remember our one-time poet laurelate, Plannibelle. Yes, she actually posted planning poetry. An example (highlight to read) ...
    And I thought John Donne was saucy.
    Last edited by NHPlanner; 16 Apr 2004 at 1:34 PM.

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