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Thread: Another dating thread

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Another dating thread

    Last night I scanned the personals on Yahoo and started notice certain things that turned me off to somebody's profile. It got me thinking. What are they ways men or women sabotage their dating prospects?

    Here are a few of mine.

    * Women with cats. With most of the guys I know, this is a big turn-off. Think of the cat lady on the Simpsons.

    * Talking about how much they love to watch sports or go to games. I always wonder if they just say that because they think it is something we want to hear. Hey, all of us guys are not sports freaks. There are better things to do in life.

    * Big hair. The 80's are over for most people.

    * Lots of make-up. I'm more attracted to women who wear no make-up.

    * Saying "recently single," or "just out of a long term relationship," or anything like it. Can you say "baggage?"


    On the other hand, there are certain things that make me take notice.

    * Pictures with dogs. I sometimes wonder if I want to meet her just to meet her dogs.

    * A well-written profile that clearly shows they are literate. It is even better if they can write in a conversational tone.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  2. #2
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cardinal
    .
    * A well-written profile that clearly shows they are literate. It is even better if they can write in a conversational tone.
    Particularly this last item stands out in my mind. It's probably the best insight as to how intelligent an individual you're dealing with (at least to the extent that 200 words on a personal ad will reveal) - granted, this discriminates against smart folks whose talents may be in the mathematical/spatial or other area and not necessarily in the language/communication department, even so it still conveys something important about that individual.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cardinal
    * Talking about how much they love to watch sports or go to games. I always wonder if they just say that because they think it is something we want to hear. Hey, all of us guys are not sports freaks. There are better things to do in life.
    .
    Guys do this, too, when they list their likes: walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, etc.

    Oh, and guys, don't even mention NASCAR. Ick.

  4. #4
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Generic profile essays are a huge turn-off, but unfortunately they're my only prospect now, since women with more interesting profiles haven't responded.

    What's a generic profile? Something like:

    "Can you keep up? I'm a kind, caring woman who works hard and plays hard. I love walks in the park, strolls along a moonlit beach, candlelit dinners, and lying by the fireplace with that special someone while sippng wine. I like going out and staying at home, and being active or just sitting on the couch. I love to laugh! I like to pamper and be pampered. I want a man who knows what he wants. I'm looking for a knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet. Must be honest, kind, tall, generous, athletic, tall, very attractive and tall, and equally comfortable in jeans or a tux. No games!"

    There are slight variants, such as the educated romantic ("sipping coffee in the morning while reading the Sunday New York Times and listening to NPR"), but for the most part 70% of the profiles I've read are variants of the checklist of cliches. They tell me absolutely nothing about the person behind the ad, although I have a sneaking suspicion that they'll have sizeable cat collections when they hit their 70s.

    Other peeves ...

    2) The group pictures, where the ad placer is always with a group of other women, and often hugging somebody. I'd say about half the women online have group shots, and very few identify which ones they are. Makes it tough, since most of the ad placers seem to be with other women who could also fit their descriptions: same hair color, height, age and build.



    3) Photos of a female ad placer embraced by another man. Better yet, an image where the ex is obviously cropped out.



    4) Fudging the age. This woman claimed to be 30.



    5) I don't mind professional photographs; I'm thinking of having some taken myself. I think Glamour Shots are cheesy, though ... especially the standard cowgirl outfit that about half of them use.



    6) Grade inflation for what is considered an "average" build.



    7) Finally, strippers should never, never use Photoshop with their personal ad profile pictures. Well, the profile never said she was a stripper, but ... c'mon ...

    I swear to God, this comes from a real online ad. PM me for the link.







    Especially an image to an old boyfriend that says "SO LETS DO IT OK"

    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    Oh, and guys, don't even mention NASCAR. Ick!
    Count me as one guy that is proud not knowing much about, let alone follow NASCAR.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Dumbest intro ever, common to many online personal ads:

    I can't believe I'm actually doing this and I really don't know what to say. Well here goes. I'm a romantic who loves to...

  7. #7
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    Oh, and guys, don't even mention NASCAR. Ick.
    Admittedly, while mentioning NASCAR might take one out of the running in attracting any Zoning Goddesses (or maybe any literate types) one's way, I'm not sure I wouldn't mention it if it is, in fact, one of your life's greatest pleasures. Statistically, I'll bet you might find most NASCAR fans' personal ads might read:

    DWM 35, I am you're knight in shining armor. enjoy NASCAR, long romantic walks, camping, country music, WWF........

    However, I know of at least one resident Cyburbian (Michaelskis), who claims to enjoy NASCAR....... and he has all his teeth, is not seen wearing sleeveless black t-shirts, does not appear to have any fixations with automobiles bordering on sexual, doesn't bowl.....and believe me ladies if you saw Michaelskis you would WANT to go out with him (for non-NASCAR related reasons).
    Last edited by Maister; 18 Feb 2004 at 12:10 PM.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Floridays's avatar
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    Dang, Cardinal...don't be so hard on all of us! I happen to have a cat AND I really DO like sports and going to sporting events. How would you feel if every woman online said that she hated cheese, and there ya are, right in the middle of Wisconsin! Give some girls a chance, for cryin out loud!
    Dan is right...the scariest part is if you really know what you're getting. Those photos were evidence of that....

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    4) Fudging the age. This woman claimed to be 30.

    Are you sure its a womyn? Looks like a maaaaaaaaannnnn


    Hey Cardinal, lay off the cats, I have 26 ok (actually 1)
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  10. #10
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Dan's 100% on target here. We've all secretly noted what he observed. The sorry fact is that while 70% of the ads out there are little more than compilations of the most formulaic, hackneyed cliches, it STILL tells you something - if nothing else than 70% of the people out there are dull and unimaginative......it's a small minority of ads that catch your eye and maybe give one cause to say 'hmmm, here's one with a distinctive personality'.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Floridays
    Dang, Cardinal...don't be so hard on all of us! I happen to have a cat AND I really DO like sports and going to sporting events. How would you feel if every woman online said that she hated cheese, and there ya are, right in the middle of Wisconsin! Give some girls a chance, for cryin out loud!
    Dan is right...the scariest part is if you really know what you're getting. Those photos were evidence of that....
    Heehee... Well, I suppose its true that there are some womyn out there who enjoy sports (i.e., rugby), but I am referring to the ones who try to come off sounding like they are "one of the guys," and that they would just love to spend an afternoon drinking beer and watching game after game with you. Whether it is true or not, it is a turn-off to me.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  12. #12
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    Oh, and guys, don't even mention NASCAR. Ick.
    I've found that the women that mention NASCAR in their online profiles are usually self-described "country girls," who also mention such things as horses, rural living, line dancing, and how "simple" they are. They also often say that they're looking for a "real man," as opposed to a stereotypical urban metrosexual or those female-to-male post-op transgendered guys that are out there in such abundance. B-) Like the city girls that pull out a checklist of spectator sports, as if they're beer-guzzling superfans, the women who mention NASCAR probably use it as a lure for the good 'ol country boy they're trying to hook.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  13. #13
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I too am trying the online thing, mostly for the province I am moving to.

    Luck so far, mixed. Two dates(really nice women, 1 definitely not for me, one I'd go out with again, but she said no), a few people who we emailed eachother a half dozen times then nothing, a few no ways and one I wonder about.

    My peeves from doing this

    1) Pictures - web cam images suck, they are too grainy and of poor quality.
    2) People who email you first, then don't reply when you send something back to them.
    3) When introductions/wants are laid out like too much of a shopping list.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  14. #14
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    If C/W music is mentioned.... and they always write it like that too.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  15. #15
    Cyburbian ludes98's avatar
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    Automobile addiction and NASCAR seem to just keep growing in popularity. I used to go to races before NASCAR was as huge as it is today, but I just can't sit in the sun that long and drink beer all day long. If my Prevost were in the RV lot it would be doable. It may be odd for a woman to enjoy cars or worse car racing, but it does sometimes happen. My wife loves to detail her own car and we still hit the local dirt track every once and a while. We aren't the norm though I suppose since none of our friends are interested and we try to keep our auto addiction in the closet.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    never reply to the ad that says "my friends dared me to do this"
    webcam pics in dim light are a big warning sign
    insist that someone sends a pic that is at most 6 months old
    "Really Just Want Someone To Hang Out With Occasionally And Talk To"
    anything "princess" e.g. " italian princess looking for you"
    anyone "lonely"
    anyone that claims to be a "jersey girl"

    but a surefire way to get me interested is to put "irish" in the profile i'm a sucker for a cute irish girl

    ...on a more positive note, the current future ex-mrs. geogplanner (just kidding...she is a great girl!) is someone i met on match.com...6 months now...

    ...and a question...has anyone seen an ex on an online personal (a la pina colda song)?...its been almost 2 years since i last saw my ex and i swear this one profile is her...the pic is too small to really tell...they look similar but different hair styles...
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    I'm going out on a limb here (major helping of sarcasm) BUT ... NASCAR Sucks !!!!!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    A pretty standard tag line in Montana is "Looking for a cowboy" Yee haa. The perfect man. No money. Dirty and smelly. A man who loves to wear a big hat, high heel shoes, and a scarf. Sort of like my Aunt Tini. Or maybe he is pretend cowboy. Big hat, no cows, as we say.

    When I was a boy, I wanted to be a cowboy, and an astronaut and a policeman. If I went to work dressed as an astronaut, they would come get me and lock me up in the loony-bin. If I dressed like a cop, I would get arrested. But if I dress up like a cowboy I'm fine. Western wear is an acceptable way for grown men to play dress up.

  19. #19
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    I've found that the women that mention NASCAR in their online profiles are usually self-described "country girls," who also mention such things as horses, rural living, line dancing, and how "simple" they are. They also often say that they're looking for a "real man," as opposed to a stereotypical urban metrosexual or those female-to-male post-op transgendered guys that are out there in such abundance. B-) Like the city girls that pull out a checklist of spectator sports, as if they're beer-guzzling superfans, the women who mention NASCAR probably use it as a lure for the good 'ol country boy they're trying to hook.
    ...it's comical you can almost tell more about the person posting the ad by what they DON'T tell you - obvious ploys to catch themselves a like-minded good ol' boy

    The more I think about it the more I think Dan has actually stumbled onto a piece of Objective Truth (2001 Space Odyssey music in background) due to his personal ad searches. Not only do we find that a huge majority of the personal ads are formulaic in nature....I bet we could probably extend that observation to include nearly every other field of human endeavor. Think about it....music, science, art, literature, urban planning, personal ads.... in every instance you find a small nucleus of people who are actually creating original ideas and the vast majority of other folks copy/use these modes/methods/ideas/forms without so much as adding the slightest variation to the established pattern. The entire content of our culture is little more than mimcry of copies (poor ones at that somethimes) of plagiarized ideas and actions. I'm afraid we're just not as original or clever as we like to think ourselves. There's less friction going with the flow ....
    Someone please tell me to shut up already B-) "Dude, this is Cyburbia's Friday afternoon forum and you just posted on the 'another dating thread' thread" (thanks in advance)
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  20. #20
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister

    The more I think about it the more I think Dan has actually stumbled onto a piece of Objective Truth (2001 Space Odyssey music in background) due to his personal ad searches. Not only do we find that a huge majority of the personal ads are formulaic in nature....I bet we could probably extend that observation to include nearly every other field of human endeavor. Think about it....music, science, art, literature, urban planning, personal ads.... in every instance you find a small nucleus of people who are actually creating original ideas and the vast majority of other folks copy/use these modes/methods/ideas/forms without so much as adding the slightest variation to the established pattern. The entire content of our culture is little more than mimcry of copies (poor ones at that somethimes) of plagiarized ideas and actions. I'm afraid we're just not as original or clever as we like to think ourselves. There's less friction going with the flow ....
    Someone please tell me to shut up already B-) "Dude, this is Cyburbia's Friday afternoon forum and you just posted on the 'another dating thread' thread" (thanks in advance)

    So if I were to agree with your observations on this would that make me a copier of original thought? I'll just have to find some variation on this (new) convention to avoid that.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    Cardinal, maybe you should start asking for the woman's PRIZM classification...

    http://www.clusterbigip1.claritas.co...ault.jsp?ID=20

    (No "Shotguns & Pickups" need apply...)

  22. #22
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by GeogPlanner
    anything "princess" e.g. " italian princess looking for you"
    ..
    Oh man ... Cleveland and Buffalo are thick with self-proclaimed Italian princesses.

    The groups that seem to be the most ethnocentric in online profiles are Italian-Americans, Hispanics and African-Americans.

    The girls that go out of their way to say that they're Italian almost always mention their huge families and cooking skills. I never write them, because their list of preferences always limits their ideal match to Catholics only.

    Many Hispanic women will pepper their ads with gratuitous Spanish, much like a late-1980s NPR newscast.

    The most ethnocentric, though, are black women. Profile titles are often along the lines of "Nubian Queen Seeks Her Ebony Prince" or "Strong Black Woman Seeks a Solid Brother." Another thing those ads have in common are the following three words ...



    NO WHITE MEN!


    Now, if Kristin or Kirsten or Kiersten from the suburbs put "no black men!" or "white men only" in her ad, she would might as well be pictured wearing her Klan robe or Aryan Nation uniform. The "NO WHITE MEN!" statements, though, should be seen as equally offensive. Just tell the oppressors who write that you're only interested in melanin-rich men, and they'll probably take the hint. No need to get all Queen Latifah on us, sisters of color!
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  23. #23
    Quote Originally posted by Rumpy Tunanator
    Are you sure its a womyn? Looks like a maaaaaaaaannnnn
    That photo would make a great Caption Contest photo....but I am guessing it would get x-rated too quickly.
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Doitnow!!'s avatar
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    * Saying "recently single," or "just out of a long term relationship," or anything like it. Can you say "baggage?"
    May Mean that they would prefer people with similar backgrounds. I think... :-P
    "I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them".
    -Isaac Asimov

  25. #25
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    4) Fudging the age. This woman claimed to be 30.

    Ummmm... Isn't this the lead singer of Def Leppard? He's gotta be older than 30...

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