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Thread: Today is the day.

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Today is the day.

    As if you guys haven't heard enough about my problems.

    My divorce became official today. I don't know whether to commiserate or celebrate. I think I'll just stay busy and go fishing after work. My total apathy to the situation is what really scares me. I stopped banging my head against the wall about 7 months ago and I see this as just a formality.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Im sorry. Been there,done that and can relate in a way to how you are.

    I wish you peace and hopefuly soon a new found happy life.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Been there - hang in there and you're right, stay busy and consider today a formality.

  4. #4
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Good luck Budgie, I'll be joining you in that boat soon. Interesting, I too am developing apathy.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Good luck with the rest of your life. I will offer a comment my brother made when he got his divorce from "Hell Bitch". He said, "Do you know why divorces are so expensive? Because they are worth it!"

  6. #6
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
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    The emotional divorce was a long time ago. This day will become an anniversary to celebrate in later years.

  7. #7
    I stopped banging my head against the wall about 7 months ago and I see this as just a formality
    That seems like a good sign! I'll second what Otterpop said. Good luck and know that in the short and long term you are better off!

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Budgie
    I don't know whether to commiserate or celebrate. I think I'll just stay busy and go fishing after work.
    Don't forget to bring the beer

    Good luck Budgie.
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  9. #9
    maudit anglais
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    Hang in there Budgie.

  10. #10
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Keep your chin up....I'm 4 months past mine becoming official, and things are better....and keep getting better. Time will be your friend, as you move on with your life.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  11. #11
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    All this talk of divorce is starting to make me second-guess getting married (once I find the right woman).
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Good luck dealing with it. As others said you're past the worst of it at this point. Enjoy your new single life.

  13. #13
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    All this talk of divorce is starting to make me second-guess getting married (once I find the right woman).
    Words of advice: Don't do it.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Good luck, Budgie. When my divorce was final, I just felt sooooo relieved. Hope you can, too.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    The tax man cometh, the ex-wife goeth...instead of celebrating or commiserating, reflect. Take a drive. Find yourself again.
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    the day

    Good luck (fishing and otherwise) and take care of yourself.
    WALSTIB

  17. #17
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Well, at least you get to have your divorce on an otherwise sucky day. Hopefully the apathy is a good sign and the next step will be a good one. Take care of yourself and do something nice for YOU.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian ludes98's avatar
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    Hang in there. I thankfully have no experience in these matters and hope I never do.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Hate is the opposite of Love, if you do either one of those you are still committed to the relationship.
    I remember a day when I saw my ex walking down the street holding hands with his new wife and a smile came to my face and a peace in my heart that he found love and was happy. Since then when ending relationships I have looked for that kind of neutralness or perhaps as you describe it apathy. It really is a good thing although it does make you wonder if there is something wrong with you that you feel that way....
    Always here for you, hang in there...
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Doitnow!!'s avatar
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    Don't you Budge, Budgie!
    I have no specific experience but can only try to understand.
    Maybe its time to Discover your self more and be at peace with it.
    Also remember not to make the same mistakes again ( if you made any).
    And keep looking ahead.
    Best wishes from my side and all the best.

    PS:
    My total apathy
    I too am developing apathy.
    This could just be the mental conditioning- the survival mechanism. Quite natural.
    I stopped banging my head
    With your kind of music interest it should be a different kind of head banging.

    Just trying to be cheerful here.
    "I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them".
    -Isaac Asimov

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Doitnow!!
    With your kind of music interest it should be a different kind of head banging.
    Yes, I do still bang my head, just not agains solid stationary objects. In fact, I'm getting back to my roots. Blue Grass and the NWOBHM. I think apathy can be a survival instinct, but I didn't grow apathetic over night, it's taken years to get to this point.

    Thanks for your support and words of wisdom.

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Hey Budgie, what game are you going fishing for?
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  23. #23

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    Hang in there, Budgie. I've been there, too. Better days will come soon.

    Maybe apathy is not the right word to describe the "Divorce Day" feeling. Maybe anti-clamactic. It's simply a formality that legalizes what you already knew to be true.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rumpy Tunanator
    Hey Budgie, what game are you going fishing for?
    A rock fish, a tree fish and a buzz.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    All this talk of divorce is starting to make me second-guess getting married (once I find the right woman).
    Yea, what he said.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

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