worst songs

[Floridays]

Blender mag has compiled its list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever. Entry was based on "unintentionally poor songwriting."
So do you agree with the list? Is there anyone who needs to be included or deleted? Some I've never heard of, but I definitely agree that Billy Ray belongs at the bottom of the barrel.

1. We Built This City Starship ... 1985
2. Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus ... 1992
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight Wang Chung ... 1986
4. Rollin' Limp Bizkit ... 2000
5. Ice Ice Baby Vanilla Ice ... 1990
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll Huey Lewis and the News ... 1984
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy Bobby McFerrin ... 1988
8. Party All the Time Eddie Murphy ... 1985
9. American Life Madonna ... 2003
10. Ebony and Ivory Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder ... 1982
11. Invisible Clay Aiken ... 2003
12. Kokomo The Beach Boys ... 1988
13. Illegal Alien Genesis ... 1983
14. From a Distance Bette Midler ... 1990
15. I'll Be There for You The Rembrandts ... 1995
16. What's Up? 4 Non Blondes ... 1993
17. Pumps and a Bump Hammer ... 1994
18. You're The Inspiration Chicago ... 1984
19. Broken Wings Mr. Mister ... 1985
20. Dancing on the Ceiling Lionel Richie ... 1986
21. Two Princes Spin Doctors ... 1992
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) Toby Keith ... 2002
23. Sunglasses at Night Corey Hart ... 1984
24. Five for Fighting Superman ... 2000
25. I'll Be Missing You Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112 ... 1997
26. The End The Doors ... 1967
27. The Final Countdown Europe ... 1987
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland John Mayer ... 2001
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's Deep Blue Something ... 1995
30. Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston ... 1986
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Crash Test Dummies ... 1994
32. Will 2K Will Smith ... 1999
33. Barbie Girl Aqua ... 1997
34. Longer Dan Fogelberg ... 1979
35. Shiny Happy People R.E.M. ... 1991
36. Make Em Say Uhh! Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal ... 1998
37. Rico Suave Gerardo ... 1991
38. Cotton Eyed Joe Rednex ... 1995
39. She Bangs Ricky Martin ... 2000
40. I Wanna Sex You Up Color Me Badd ... 1991
41. We Didn't Start the Fire Billy Joel ... 1989
42. The Sounds of Silence Simon & Garfunkel ... 1965
43. Follow Me Uncle Kracker ... 2000
44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) Meat Loaf ... 1993
45. Mesmerize Ja Rule featuring Ashanti ... 2002
46. Hangin' Tough New Kids on the Block ... 1989
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You Bryan Adams ... 1996
48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da The Beatles ... 1968
49. I'm Too Sexy Right Said Fred ... 1992
50. My Heart Will Go On Celine Dion ... 1998

[mgk920]

Blender mag has compiled its list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever. Entry was based on "unintentionally poor songwriting."
So do you agree with the list? Is there anyone who needs to be included or deleted? Some I've never heard of, but I definitely agree that Billy Ray belongs at the bottom of the barrel.

Since one's taste in music is a 100% subjective thing, there are some on that list that I like (and in fact are in my roadtrip mixes) and some that a fully agree should be on that list.

Some that are not included, but IMHO should be, because I change the station when any of these come on:

-anything by Cat Stevens
-'The Way It Is' by Bruce Hornsby
-'American Pie'

More as I think of them

Mike

[SGB]

Here are my votes for deletions from the list, for no reason other than I like the songs:

21. Two Princes Spin Doctors ... 1992
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) Toby Keith ... 2002
24. Five for Fighting Superman ... 2000
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's Deep Blue Something ... 1995
42. The Sounds of Silence Simon & Garfunkel ... 1965
43. Follow Me Uncle Kracker ... 2000

[Budgie]

Anything by Wham, Culture Club or Duran Duran.

[Seabishop]

New Kids on the Block could have filled up the entire list.

No other boy bands?

Not much hair metal.

The 70's in general are WAY underrepresented - Not much disco. No Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. No "Rock On" by that 70's soap star.

No 2 Live Crew?

No "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney?

Heart of Rock n' Roll is annoying but I don't think its the 6th worst song of all time.

[jestes]

\

41. We Didn't Start the Fire Billy Joel ... 1989 42. The Sounds of Silence Simon & Garfunkel ... 1965 43. Follow Me Uncle Kracker ... 2000

Interesting that the three that I most disagree with are in sequential order. #41 can't possibly be bad writing. Only a genius can cram that much into a 3 minute song. #42 - I just like Simon & Garfunkel #43 - I just like the song.

[Dragon]

12. Kokomo The Beach Boys ... 1988
19. Broken Wings Mr. Mister ... 1985
21. Two Princes Spin Doctors ... 1992
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland John Mayer ... 2001
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Crash Test Dummies ... 1994
41. We Didn't Start the Fire Billy Joel ... 1989
44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) Meat Loaf ... 1993

I don't think that these songs belong on that list.

[Maister]

How could 'I'm too sexy' and 'sound of silence' end up on the same list - oh wait, both song titles have four syllables. Never mind

[Repo Man]

Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) Toby Keith should have been in the top 5. That song sucks.

The Red Hot Chili Pepper's "By The Way" should have been included, same with Creed's "Higher"

Wang Chung deserves a better fate than #3!

OFF TOPIC:

Speaking of numbers I just noticed that i am in the 2000 clube!!!

[Richmond Jake]

Why do people keeping making lists?
1. Trying to impress with the little bit of trivia they know.
2. People with zero social skills with nothing else to do.
3. Showing their parents that the investment in college wasn't wasted.
4. To provoke flaming debates on web forums.
...oh, forget it.

[Tom R]

The only deletion IMHO is "The Sounds of Silence." I'm totally confused as to why someone would put it on such a list. For the stinkers, here's a few:

Jet - Wings
Anything disco but especially "That's the way I like It"
any cover by what's his name Boulton
The Night Chicago Died
There are more, but I'm getting depressed.

[JNA]

Songs in the key of ick
Or as headlined in our newspaper:
Bad songs get stuck in your craw as easily as in your head

By Mark Brown
Scripps Howard News Service 10-MAY-04

What makes a bad song?
Why, Creed does, of course.
Oops, beg your pardon _ we're talking what, not who.

Brain-burrowing hooks, schlock lyrics, cutesy arrangements and overwhelming earnestness make for a good start on a bad song.

Blender's recent 50 worst songs of all time barely scratched the surface. Bad songs come to everyone. They know no era, no genre and, regrettably, no expiration date.

There are some tunes that should be retired from any worst-song competition: "Afternoon Delight," "The Macarena," "Torn Between Two Lovers," "Feelings" and anything ever recorded by the Bay City Rollers. They're already jokes, songs so obviously awful that people play them only as a twisted prank.

Some don't deserve the list because, awful as they were, they had the dignity to go away and never got called back into active duty as a Taco Bell jingle.

"Precious and Few" by Climax and "How Do You Do?" by Mouth & MacNeal are as heinous as anything on any list anywhere, but few remember them.

Inspired by Blender, here are 25 more songs that cry out to be on the list.

1. "Brand New Key," Melanie: Possibly the least-appealing sexual innuendo in any song ever.
2." Freedom," Paul McCartney: Proof of his one-time claim that he can write a song in just five minutes.
3. "Jenny From the Block," J-Lo: The performer's contribution to the decline of Western civilization.
4. "How You Remind Me," Nickelback: "Never made it as a wise man." You don't say!
5. "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene: Save the cab fare, sister.
6. "In the End," Linkin Park: Sniveling self-pity as an art form.
7. "Billy Don't Be a Hero," Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods: Wrong on so many levels we can't begin to explain.
8. "The Night Chicago Died," Paper Lace: Besides this atrocity, these sadists also recorded "Billy Don't Be a Hero."
9. "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," Tony Orlando: How did this vapid song about a needy ex-con get turned into a tribute to our soldiers?
10. "You Decorated My Life," Kenny Rogers: Presumably with a trip to the 99 Cent Store.
11. "Say You Say Me," Lionel Richie: Say what? Reminder of why, at one point, '80s radio stations would play anything Richie recorded.
12. "Seasons in the Sun," Terry Jacks: We had joy, we had fun ... but never when this song was playing.
13. "Barely Breathing," Duncan Sheik: So put all of us out of our misery, already.
14. "Sometimes When We Touch," Dan Hill: So overwrought it's bloodless.
15. "Man, I Feel Like a Woman," Shania Twain: Man, I feel like poking my eardrums out with an ice pick.
16. "Sk8r Boi," Avril Lavigne: Horrible tune that teaches your daughters the valuable lesson that men are worthwhile only if famous.
17. "Nookie," Limp Bizkit: So unsexy that Fred Durst must have written this as a work of fiction.
18. "Silly Love Songs," Wings: Even Paul McCartney won't play this atrocity anymore.
19. "American Pie," Madonna: Like painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa.
20. "Come on Eileen," Dexy's Midnight Runners: Friends don't let friends play this lurching roller-coaster of a song.
21. "What I Am," Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians: "Shove me in the shallow water/before I get too deep," she sings. Not much danger of that.
22. "If You Could Only See," Tonic: Wuss rock at its lowest.
23. "Hot Child in the City," Nick Gilder: Disco wasn't the worst thing about the '70s -this was.
24. "Sussudio," Phil Collins: This resulted from a stray word at a sound check; it should have stayed there.
25. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer," The Beatles: A cloying nursery rhyme about a murderer that McCartney insisted would be a hit. Go figure.

[Planderella]

New Kids on the Block could have filled up the entire list.

No other boy bands?

Not much hair metal.

The 70's in general are WAY underrepresented - Not much disco. No Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. No "Rock On" by that 70's soap star.

No 2 Live Crew?

No "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney?

Heart of Rock n' Roll is annoying but I don't think its the 6th worst song of all time.

I agree. Some of those songs don't belong on that list, but it is sorely lacking with other songs.

Here's a few more to consider:

Anything by Poison, Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot or Motely Crue.
All Michael Bolton songs, remakes included.
"Afternoon Delight" - Starland Vocal Group or whatever the heck their name was (from the 70's)
"Play That Funky Music" - Wild Cherry (for some reason, this song makes me ill)

I'll think of more later.

[Gedunker]

1) Anything and everything off Boston's album. You say they had several albums? You can't prove it by me.

2) 99 Luftballoons

3) The Michael Jackson portfolio.

[Big Easy King]

Los Del Rio - "Macarena"

[Mastiff]

If "I've never been to me" by Charlene isn't on this list, it isn't accurate...

Oh, I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
when I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlo in Monte Carlo
and showed them what I've got
I've been undressed by kings
and I've seen some things that a woman ain't s'pose to see
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me...


I had to grow up with this trash. I about spewed awhile back when some yahoo played (and tried to sing) this on kareoke night.

[JNA]

Look on the list that I posted B-)

5. "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene

[Mastiff]

Look on the list that I posted B-)

Ooo! My bad! I guess my mind is trained to blot it out...

Okay, let me revise. Any list that doesn't have that as number one is inaccurate... How's that?

2) 99 Luftballoons

But at least you got this...

"99 Dead Babboons" - Tim Cavanagh

Ninety-nine dead babboons
Sitting in my living room
Gee I'm glad there not apes
Apes would clash with the drapes

[Tom R]

[QUOTE=JNA]Songs in the key of ick

There are some tunes that should be retired from any worst-song competition: "Afternoon Delight," "The Macarena," "Torn Between Two Lovers," "Feelings" and anything ever recorded by the Bay City Rollers. They're already jokes, songs so obviously awful that people play them only as a twisted prank.

Obviously we're dealing with someone of superior taste here. Additions could include:
The theme from Billy Jack
Gimme dat ding
Winchester Cathedral (An anti-classic if ever there was)
Quick Joey Small
You light up (retch, puke) Life
Lucy in disguise (J Fred and the Playboy Band)
Ballad of the Green Berets
Chick-a-Boom (or whatever its called)
Which way you goin' Billy?
enough already.

[mgk920]

[QUOTE=Tom R]

Songs in the key of ick

There are some tunes that should be retired from any worst-song competition: "Afternoon Delight," "The Macarena," "Torn Between Two Lovers," "Feelings" and anything ever recorded by the Bay City Rollers. They're already jokes, songs so obviously awful that people play them only as a twisted prank.

Obviously we're dealing with someone of superior taste here. Additions could include:
The theme from Billy Jack
Gimme dat ding
Winchester Cathedral (An anti-classic if ever there was)
Quick Joey Small
You light up (retch, puke) Life
Lucy in disguise (J Fred and the Playboy Band)
Ballad of the Green Berets
Chick-a-Boom (or whatever its called)
Which way you goin' Billy?
enough already.

A few of more of my 'station-changer' audio atrocities include:

-'Guantanamera' by the Sandpipers (the epitomy of bad 1960s flower-power folk)
-Anything by Glen Campbell (especially that schpiel about being a guy from the power company)
-'Rocky' by Austin Roberts
-'We Are the World' by USA for Africa
-'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers
-'Elvira' by the Oak Ridge Boys(?)
-Any late 1960s/early 1970s war protest song
-'In the Year 2525' by Zager and Evans
-'Top of the World' by the Carpenters
-'Jessie's Girl' by Rick Springfield
-'Run Joey Run' (I forget who did it)
-'People Are Still Having Sex' (ditto)
-'Papa Don't Preach' by Madonna
-'I Wanna Be A Cowboy' by Boys Don't Cry
-'Beds Are Burning' by Midnight Oil
-'Lament of the Cherokee Warrior(?)' by Paul Revere and the Raiders
(political correctness is a major turn-off to me)
-Any 'headbanger' or hard rap
-Most 'country' that is less than about 20-25 years old
-'Born in the USA' by Bruce Springsteen

Mike

[boilerplater]

Damn, JNA, you're hilarious! Do you write for Lewis Black, the comedian? If you imagine your posting in his voice, its even funnier.

I read an interview with Michael Stipe of REM a few years ago and the interviewer asked him if he had any regrets. His response? "Shiny Happy People"

Its just amazing how much crap gets recorded and slathered onto a seemingly receptive public.

[JNA]

Damn, JNA, you're hilarious! Do you write for Lewis Black, the comedian?

Don't I wish,
all I did was post an article with the attached list that I thought would add to the discussion.

I only write for the Plan Commission - Comp Plan, Subdivision Staff Field Reports, ROW Vacation reports, etc...

And I have never heard of Lewis Black, the comedian anyway.

[boilerplater]

Wha? You don't watch the "Daily Show" with John Stewart? And you're a Jersey guy? Lewis Black is on there sometimes. He's the older guy who goes on these vein-popping rants. For me there's some hometown pride in watching John Stewart since he's from my area.

Oh yeah, worst songs. I don't recall seeing "Do-run-run" anywhere.

[Super Amputee Cat]

I more or less agree with these

2. Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus ... 1992 This song is the epitome of every redneck and WT stereotype in modern country music
9. American Life Madonna ... 2003 Anything by Madonna is swill
15. I'll Be There for You The Rembrandts ... 1995 Formerly OK song ruined by Friends
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) Toby Keith ... 2002
Actually I never heard of this song, but anything by Keith is WT- glorifying swill
25. I'll Be Missing You Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112 Anything with the word "featuring" in the title is bound to be crap. It's just putting some egotistical artist - and I use this term loosely - in the title to sell more records to undescriminating fans
30. Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston ... 1986 This song is pure excrement! But then again, name one song by this drug addicted floozie that isn't.
32. Will 2K Will Smith ... 1999
33. Barbie Girl Aqua ... 1997 Haven't heard it but the title sounds stupid
36. Make Em Say Uhh! Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal ... Ditto!
39. She Bangs Ricky Martin ... 2000 Real cool title. What is this marketed to. 13 year olds and frat boys?
40. I Wanna Sex You Up Color Me Badd ... 1991 Stupid title, stupid band name. What kind of vacuous morons would call themselves Color Me Badd? Not as vacuous as the idiots that bought their records though
41. We Didn't Start the Fire Billy Joel ... 1989 This isn't a song, it's a list! Billy really put out some stinkers after he married What's-her-face. Might as well have a big PW stamped on his forehead
45. Mesmerize Ja Rule featuring Ashanti ... 2002 See above.
46. Hangin' Tough New Kids on the Block ... 1989 A song made by morons, for morons
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You Bryan Adams ... 1996 Just like Joel, another formerally great artist that got all mushy.
49. I'm Too Sexy Right Said Fred ... 1992 I sure hope I don't have to explain this one
50. My Heart Will Go On Celine Dion ... 1998 I &%%^$#^^ hate Celine Dion!

I totally disagree with these:

1. We Built This City Starship ... 1985
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight Wang Chung ... 1986
12. Kokomo The Beach Boys ... 1988
13. Illegal Alien Genesis ... 1983
19. Broken Wings Mr. Mister ... 1985
21. Two Princes Spin Doctors ... 1992 WTF?
23. Sunglasses at Night Corey Hart ... 1984
26. The End The Doors ... 1967 Are these people friggin' retarded? The a-hole that put this one on the list probably saw The Lizzie McGuire Movie when Apocalypse Now was reissued.
27. The Final Countdown Europe ... 1987
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland John Mayer ... 2001
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's Deep Blue Something ... 1995 One of my faves of '85
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Crash Test Dummies ... 1994 I love this song!
34. Longer Dan Fogelberg ... 1979
35. Shiny Happy People R.E.M. ... 1991
42. The Sounds of Silence Simon & Garfunkel ... 1965

One other thing: Where's Britney, where's Beyonce? Christina Agulara? J-Ho?. I don't see N' Suck or Backdoor Boys either. This is the dumbest list I have ever seen.

[Budgie]

2) 99 Luftballoons

Sung in German by one of the greatest One-hit wonders of all time - NINA.