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Thread: Don't dip those freedom fries in Heinz ketchup

  1. #1
    Cyburbian AubieTurtle's avatar
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    Don't dip those freedom fries in Heinz ketchup



    WASHINGTON, (AFP) - Americans allergic to the subtle Democratic flavor of Heinz ketchup can now plunge their "freedom fries" into a 100-percent guaranteed, patriotic alternative: "W Ketchup."

    "You don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?" says the W Ketchup Internet site wketchup.com, which promises a totally US-made condiment, right down to the bottle.

    Rest of the story
    As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. - H.L. Mencken

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally posted by AubieTurtle
    which promises a totally US-made condiment, right down to the bottle.

    Rest of the story
    U. S. Made? I'm surprised they didn't outsource it to Burma, like the Bush campaign tees. :/
    Last edited by Dan; 12 Jul 2004 at 1:27 PM. Reason: Removing duplicated image

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Don' t forget those freedom fries would not be Ore-Ida brand either. :-P

    That's because Ore-Ida's are a Heinz food brand:
    http://www.heinz.com/jsp/world.jsp#2
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  4. #4
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    [Al Franken]Nope them fries are harvested in Idaho by honest to Gawd White Seperatists - the way Gawd intended the sacred carb to be delivered unto the plate of Gawd fearing white men and white women everywar.[/Al Franken]

  5. #5
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA
    Don' t forget those freedom fries would not be Ore-Ida brand either. :-P

    That's because Ore-Ida's are a Heinz food brand:
    http://www.heinz.com/jsp/world.jsp#2
    So is Del-Monte, which should come as no suprise considering how much liberal, America hating Democrates love fruits.
    Last edited by biscuit; 12 Jul 2004 at 2:53 PM. Reason: present problem with past tense

  6. #6
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by BKM
    U. S. Made? I'm surprised they didn't outsource it to Burma, like the Bush campaign tees. :/
    What he means is that it will be made from tomatoes grown here with farm subsidies and then shipped to Burma for processing, while the bottles will come from sand collected here and sent to China.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Cripes. These Republicans should get a grip. Never let pass by an opportunity to distort an issue and make a profit from it.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop
    Cripes. These Republicans should get a grip. Never let pass by an opportunity to distort an issue and make a profit from it.

    Three Words - Hillary Cattle Futures

    Hey - she was Atkins Friendly before it was cool!

  9. #9
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jordanb
    while the bottles will come from sand collected here and sent to China.
    The bottles look like they're plastic, made from petroleum products that had their source in Saudi Arabia, where some of the profits will inevitably find their way as donations to Muslim "charities" that may support the likes of ... oh, Al Queda.

    The tomatos? Picked by Mexican migrant workers, making minimum wage, without health insurance.

    The processing in the Midwest? Probably in a plant staffed by Mexican migrant workers, making ... you guessed it. minimum wage. Health insurance? Nope.

    Oh, the Web hosting company of W Ketchup? I wonder what happens when you call technical support. "Hello ... my name is Sanjay. You will kindly tell me how I may help you please." I bet some parts of the Web server are made in the PRC, too, or as some conservaties refer to it, RED China.

    Buy W ketchup, and you're supporting Al Queda, along with the poor working conditions of Mexican migrant workers, outsourcing to India, and the Chinese Red Army. Shame!
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  10. #10
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by el Guapo
    Three Words - Hillary Cattle Futures

    Hey - she was Atkins Friendly before it was cool!
    Seven words - Not even close to the same thing.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  11. #11
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop
    Seven words - Not even close to the same thing.
    You are right they are not even close. One is an example of insider trading and corruption at the highest levels of government. The other is an honest attempt to provide a product to a niche market.

    Oh Dan? Can you tell me where a concerned citizen like me can purchase food products that were picked, processed, shipped, marketed and prepared by people making a "living wage" and by people who are offered four weeks of paid vacation, full family medical coverage, and delta dental, by their employee owned cooperatives? Are these food stuffs of my desire also packaged in 180% post-consumer recycled hemp bottles and cans? Would this grocery store be the mystical Berkeley Organic Vegan Womyn's Coop? Would this bag of organic chow also cost 1000% the cost of my current chow? Would this system of "living wages for all" then destroy the economic engine of the free world throught inflation and thus bring famine to all the world? Must there always be haves and have nots?

    Yours Truly,
    The Carb Counter in KS

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally posted by el Guapo
    Oh Dan? Can you tell me where a concerned citizen like me can purchase food products that were picked, processed, shipped, marketed and prepared by people making a "living wage" and by people who are offered four weeks of paid vacation, full family medical coverage, and delta dental, by their employee owned cooperatives? Are these food stuffs of my desire also packaged in 180% post-consumer recycled hemp bottles and cans? Would this grocery store be the mystical Berkeley Organic Vegan Womyn's Coop? Would this bag of organic chow also cost 1000% the cost of my current chow? Would this system of "living wages for all" then destroy the economic engine of the free world throught inflation and thus bring famine to all the world? Must there always be haves and have nots?

    Yours Truly,
    The Carb Counter in KS

    You Repubs just don't get it, Guap. NONE of the products sold at the Berkeley Organic Vegan Womyn's Coop are "processed" or "marketed" in any way. Death to the Paternalistic Capitalist Hegemony!

  13. #13
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by el Guapo
    Would this grocery store be the mystical Berkeley Organic Vegan Womyn's Coop?
    Afraid not, my rightie friend. Afraid not. Close, though.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails boulder.jpg  
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  14. #14
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    HA! I declare a PHOTOSHOP FRAUD If in-fact that were the real Boulder OVWFC then the Toby Kieth Edition Ford F-250 Pick Up - cleverly hidden behind the sign - would in fact be a Subaru Forester - Indigo Girls Edition!


    The double fems were a nice touch.


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