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Thread: Martha Stewart Inspires Bad-Writing Winner

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Plus
    Jun 2003

    Martha Stewart Inspires Bad-Writing Winner

    "She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight ... summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp's tail ... though the term 'love affair' now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism ... not unlike 'sand vein,' which is after all an intestine, not a vein ... and that tarry substance inside certainly isn't sand ... and that brought her back to Ramon."

    From the AP wire:

    that entry claimed top honors at the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest celebrating bad writing. The competition pays mocking homage to the Victorian author whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" opened with this all-too-familiar phrase: "It was a dark and stormy night."

    A complete list of winners can be viewed at http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2004.htm

    Some of them LOL good.
    Last edited by JNA; 20 Jul 2004 at 7:05 AM.

  2. #2
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Feb 2004
    on my 15 minute break
    "kaitlyn looked like a woman who had been used by more guys than a porta-potty at a burrito festival..."
    Surely the world's greatest minds are drawn to the Bulwer-Lytton contest.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  3. #3

    Oct 2001
    Solano County, California

    There has to be a planner involved here

    Winner: Western
    "This town's not big enough for the two of us," growled Slim Jenkins, "but I think that if we can get the townspeople to agree to issue a bond to annex the Carter Ranch, we can then incorporate and there should be plenty of room for everyone."

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