"She resolved to end the love affair with Ramon tonight ... summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp's tail ... though the term 'love affair' now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism ... not unlike 'sand vein,' which is after all an intestine, not a vein ... and that tarry substance inside certainly isn't sand ... and that brought her back to Ramon."
From the AP wire:
that entry claimed top honors at the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest celebrating bad writing. The competition pays mocking homage to the Victorian author whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" opened with this all-too-familiar phrase: "It was a dark and stormy night."
A complete list of winners can be viewed at http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2004.htm
Some of them LOL good.