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Thread: You've been a planner too long if....

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    You've been a planner too long if....

    You know you've been a planner too long if:
    - when looking at election signs you instinctively look to see if they're placed in the right-of-way.
    - when asked by your friends if you shopped at the newest strip mall in town yet and if so what you thought, you respond "poor access management"
    - when someone says the name "Walmart" you flinch.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian
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    When you go to friends' backyard parties, the first thing you check is fence height, accessory structures, and ROW encroachment. The second thing you check is the beer supply. When talk turns to their new pool, the first thing you ask is, "Did you get permits for that?"
    I don't dream. I plan.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
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    rural planner edition

    When driving local roads, you spot all the junk scattered around what would otherwise be beautiful farms, and you find yourself muttering under you breath "The town would have junk regs if it weren't for that !@# #$%! Farm Bureau."
    All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  4. #4
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    - you receive 12 fruit baskets every Christmas.... and have to return them all.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  5. #5
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    - you've seen your SO for a total of about 2 hours awake all week because of the four straight nights of night meetings you've had this week.....
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  6. #6
    ...your kids can point out illegal signs on the drive home from daycare/school B-)
    ...your family wonders why you slow down and inspect erosion control fences at a construction site while you are on vacation
    ...strangers approach you in a tavern and ask if they really, really have to have survey before they get their building permit
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Big Easy King's avatar
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    - most or all of your vacations are in conjunction with a planning-related conference!
    A person who strives is one who thrives. It's GREAT to be THE KING!!!

  8. #8
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    You won't consider buying a house in a city allows high-rise signs.

    You visit a foreign country, and you make a special trip to see the suburbs of a major city, "just to see how it compares."
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    You don't need no frickin Mapquest....you KNOW where every street is.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Quote Originally posted by Big Easy King
    - most or all of your vacations are in conjunction with a planning-related conference!
    Plead no contest; Guilty as Charged.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  11. #11
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Planderella
    You don't need no frickin Mapquest....you KNOW where every street is.
    And what the existing and proposed ROW's are, and when they're scheduled for expansion...and you get irritated when the "boulevarding" isn't being done the way you thought it should have. You use the word "boulevarding" in conversation--and your SO knows what you mean.
    I don't dream. I plan.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    You'll go 20-30 minutes out of way to shop at the better designed big box.
    While you are there, you take pictures to show to your commissions and staff

    You only park once and walk from store to store when visiting strip malls. -The cahsiers look at you strange when you walk in with bags from the store 4 units down.

    Your SO notes as many sign, setback, and other violations as you do when driving.

    Your family vacation photos are almost entirely of the built environment.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planderella
    You don't need no frickin Mapquest....you KNOW where every street is.
    Mapquest calls you to find out if any new streets and properties have gone in.
    You go on vacation and notice signage violations, and wonder what their regs say.
    You have road rage.
    You never use a drive though window.
    You have been asked everything from can I have a yard sale to why was it that a road from 90 years before they were born was never paved, and if they can build a shed on it.
    You feel shame for all the violations that your family and friends have, but you don't say anything about it.
    You have stopped at a little kids lemon aid stand to let them know that they do not meet zoning requirements, set back requirements, and have not received approval for an out door business from the Planning Commission. Oh and you ask to see their health permit too.
    You know what Ambler v. Euclid is all about.
    You drive out of town, and see sub-divisions, and think "damn urban sprawl"
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  14. #14
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    you refer to your friends' and families' hobbies as "accessory uses"
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  15. #15
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
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    Think of the children!

    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    You have stopped at a little kids lemon aid stand to let them know that they do not meet zoning requirements, set back requirements, and have not received approval for an out door business from the Planning Commission. Oh and you ask to see their health permit too.
    You didn't buy a lemonade while you were there? After all, the kids will need the $$$ to cover the permit fees!
    All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  16. #16
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SGB
    You didn't buy a lemonade while you were there? After all, the kids will need the $$$ to cover the permit fees!
    Oh I would... Only to support a local buisness.

    But like maister mentioned... Your kids rat out other kids for not having a permit for a lemonade stand.

    *Oh and cyburbia is your home page!
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Your bfs family asks you about land use issues related to their town home development.

    You plan to see planning related hot items like Celebration as part of family trips.

    Can spot a NIMBY when they walk in the door before they even open their mouth.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  18. #18
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    You're AICP and your folks still really don't know what you do for a living, other than, "hes like a lawyer, but for land and buildings."

    You're a Republican and yet you bike, drive an econobox, and recently gave a developer hell for not putting sidewalks on BOTH sides of the street.

    You want to get into model railroading and you don't like trains.

    How you know you've been a single parent planner too long:
    Your board(s) has/have seen your children grow up over the years coloring and reading in the last row of seats durin countless evening public meetings. They are suprised one night when you mention that the missing one is now in college.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Some others

    1. Your 5 year old refers to your constant night meetings as "stinky night meetings"
    2. While on vacation you dedicate 50 of the 180 photo's on your digital camera for posting on Cyburbia Forums (I'm about to do this while on vacation)
    3. When someone at a party asks, "what does a planner do?" and you just stare at them....(1,000 yard stare)
    4. You hand out Land Use applications immediately to anyone visiting your office (even new employees you haven't met yet... ....)
    5. You instinctively start timing the delays at stop signs, lights and crosswalks....
    6. You physically stop your car to get out and measure the flowline to flowline width of a street, alley, parking space, sidewalk, traffic circle, cul-de-sac......
    7. You find yourself delineating wetlands while on a nature hike with the family....
    Skilled Adoxographer

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    After reading the want ads you think “an engineering degree wouldn’t have been that hard, right?”

    You have to keep explaining to friends that the tattoo on your arm isn't of your mom its Jane Jacobs.

    You’re planning your big escape to Europe where everyone is on your paradigm – or at least Portland.

    You say things like “if we’re going to comprehensively clean the house, then we’ll need to address all its functional areas”

    You fantasize about going to zoning board meetings hundreds of miles away and screaming about "those people" who are going to drive down the neighborhood.

    You fantasize about being a janitor so you don’t have to attend night meetings.

  21. #21
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    - you don't care about the height of that fence.
    - you move to house on a one-acre lot in the suburbs.
    - you construct an addition to that house without permits.
    - you stop paying your AICP/APA dues.
    - you only shop chain stores.
    etc., etc.


    (my slightly different take on this thread)

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Quote Originally posted by Seabishop
    You fantasize about being a janitor so you don’t have to attend night meetings.
    Nice set up
    I don't have to fantasize; I am the Janitor who's an AICP.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Your SO starts calling you "intrepid planner girl" becouse you compulsivly plan the hell out of everything. Case in point our Disney trip was planned out in less than a week and design elements were part of my reasoning for what resort to stay in.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    You're out with friends/family and pass a new development and say "Oh, I handled the rezoning/plan amendment/special exception for that project" and immediately pull over to see how it looks.

    You can quote the land use history of almost any parcel in your jurisdiction.

    You know the exact limits of multiple cities and can identify the location of almost any subdivision in a large geographical area.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Go to the Library Special Collections and with their permission/help make a copy of your city's 1st master plan.

    My fair city's was done by Harland Bartholomew in a 5 part series between 1925 - 1927.

    After reading you discover some of the points made back then are still current and valid,
    and better yet you qoute it in your 2004 Comp Plan update.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

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