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Poll results: Who is the biggest pain?

Voters
32. You may not vote on this poll
  • 1. Mr. Knowshisrights

    9 28.13%
  • 2. Mr. Irrelevant

    2 6.25%
  • 3. Mr. Loophole

    6 18.75%
  • 4. Mr. Anal

    3 9.38%
  • 5. Mr. Angermanagement

    1 3.13%
  • 6. Mr. Phonycalm

    2 6.25%
  • 7. Mr. Taxpayer

    7 21.88%
  • 8. Mr. Bigshot

    3 9.38%
  • 9. Mr. Honorandglory

    5 15.63%
  • 10. Mr. Connections

    9 28.13%
  • Other (explain below)

    12 37.50%
Multiple choice poll
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Thread: Annoying Customer Awards

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Annoying Customer Awards

    Many of us are front counter planners and have to deal with the general public on a variety of issues ranging from rather complex development issues to general code enforcement questions. Every City, town, and village runs into the same type of annoying individuals time and again. What are your favorites?

    1. "Mr. Knowshisrights" - believes all matters pertaining to law can be conveniently found in one beloved document...the Constitution. If it doesn't say you can or can't do it in the Constitution then it ain't a law. Of course he can operate a gun shop in the middle of a residential development - the Second Amendment says so. Naturally, it's quite alright for a church to host outdoor rock concerts at 120 decibles at 2 am - the First Amendment guarantees it! I'm afraid you have NO right to require a 30 foot front yard setback...setbacks are nowhere to be found in the Constitution!

    2. "Mr. Irrelevant" - Mr. Irrelevant is happy to talk to you about his zoning concerns at 10 o'clock. Hope you didn't have any plans cuz at 10:30 he would like to ask you a few things about his taxes - my they've gone up. At 11:00 he tells you about what Councilman Smith told him in 1978 when they were building the new high school. By the way, he saw a garbage bag fall out of a Sanisafe disposal truck last week it was near 1234 Main street. Oh, and why does he have to present his voter registration card every election, you'd think they'd know him on sight by now....

    3. "Mr. Loophole" - Is a clever chap. A little too clever for his own good. Often overheard saying things like: "Okay, so you're telling me an accessory use is something incidental to a principle use, right? So it stands to reason that everyone has to go to the bathroom right? Even people in residential zones, right? So I don't see why it's not 'incidental' when people use one of the 8 coin operated porta-potties on my front lawn - when you gotta go you gotta go, right?"

    4. "Mr. Anal" - he means well and is more than willing to do what it takes to do it right all by himself. No, he's never built anything before in his life but he's a highly intelligent individual and is capable of following instructions - he's an accountant after all and they follow lots of instructions. He simply needs to ask 15 or 16 or 23 questions as he thinks of them 15 or 16 or 23 times a week to make sure he's doing things right. Does he need to redo the application again after he notices the erasure on line 5? When someone comes out to measure will they be using metric measurements and converting or standard measuring devices? Is it alright if he fills out the paperwork with a blue ink pen, he's got a black ink pen too, if it's not okay? When it says five business days does that include a half day next Monday, because after all, he didn't submit until noon today.....

    5. "Mr. Angermanagement" - Let me tell you something you little (&*@*^ s the next time I get a )%^&(_! letter from the city saying I gotta (*^&^$* do another 7^#$&%( thing I'm going to *()&E#*%^*( )*^*&^ and then I'm going to (#^(#@)()_*+ you *^#ing (*^%*^ers

    6. "Mr. Phonycalm" - sort of the antithesis of Mr. Angermanagment. Mr. Phonycalm is really seething yet is eager to show you how very reasonable a person he is. He'll tell you in a smarmy tone of voice "So, do I understand correctly you're saying that I am breaking the law and am, therefore, a criminal because I have parked my car on my front lawn? I see. I suppose that I should therefore contact the local law enforcement agency to report the other felons on my block who are flagrantly violating the laws of this land by parking campers and boats on the grass beside their driveways? It seems only reasonable after all...."

    7. "Mr. Taxpayer" - he's entitled to very finest administrative services available to humanity dontcha know? Why should he pay to have his property surveyed - shouldn't the city do that? Naturally, you should be more than happy to search for and provide copies of all building permits applied for on alternate years since 1958 by contractors with last names who begin with the letters 'c', 's' or 'h'! After all HE pays your wages!!!!

    8. "Mr. Bigshot" - My god, aren't you in awe of his very presence? It is a privlege for you to review his development application for a Bigboxes R Us store! What do you mean, your little community of a mere 100 thousand is asking for photometric plans - isn't that cute - you'd think they were building in New York or LA.....Of course you're going to support his parking variance request aren't you - he's bringing much needed tax dollars to your community!

    9. "Mr. Honorandglory" - No, he didn't remove the junk car after the violation notice you sent him last year because he was being treated in the VA hospital last week for prostate cancer. Yeah, he fought in the Big One. Many of his buddies died on the sands of Iwo Jima, defending your right to be free and here YOU are sending HIM a zoning violation notice. My god, Hitler and Tojo won after all!


    I'm sure I've missed a few. Please feel free to provide your own nominees. Better yet, I'll promise you Total Consciousness on your deathbed if you can provide the REMEDY to counter each of the above named nuisances.
    Last edited by Maister; 23 Mar 2006 at 1:30 PM.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Mr. Incase

    Mr. Incase was born before the great depression and now “collects” everything he can just incase he needs it down the road. He has several sheds and garages packed with things that no one will ever use again. But you know that if you ever need a plastic butter cup lid... you know where to go!
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    "Mr. BenevoleNOT" - He claims to work for a number of causes and various underrepresented people, but will join his neigbors in a fight to keep "those people" out of his neighborhood.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  4. #4
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    This has got to be the BEST thing I have read allll week.

    In fact I think I have dealt with about half of the above listed this week alone...

    Good stuff, Friend...
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  5. #5
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Mr. Incase

    Mr. Incase was born before the great depression and now “collects” everything he can just incase he needs it down the road. He has several sheds and garages packed with things that no one will ever use again. But you know that if you ever need a plastic butter cup lid... you know where to go!
    Wow, you guys have a lot of time on your hands today, ay?

    You forgot the guy that comes in and basically tells you that you don't know what the heck you are talking about, that you must be reading the ordinance incorrectly, and that he was operating a business before you were even born, missy. I'm not as eloquent as you, but I'm sure you know who I am talking about. Maybe it is a combo of everyone already mentioned. Those are my least favorite people.

    I like the Mr. Anals - no comments please Aat least they are concerned that they are doing things right.

  6. #6
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN
    This has got to be the BEST thing I have read allll week.

    In fact I think I have dealt with about half of the above listed this week alone...

    Good stuff, Friend...
    Mskis asked me if I was writing a novel. I told him this thread was the 'Mother of all FAC Posts'.

    It occurs to me there are probably a number of dark side views not mentioned directed towards my ilk....."Mr. Pencilneckedbureaucrat" or "Mr. Literalist" come to mind.....
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  7. #7
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    In any college town, it's Dr. Iamsosmart. Whether it's a PhD in Psychology, Internal Medicine or Underwater Basketweaving, that Dr. in their title means that they know more than you and they won't let you forget it.

  8. #8
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    They're not all Mr. Some are Ms. or Mrs.

  9. #9
    maudit anglais
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    Quote Originally posted by nerudite
    In any college town, it's Dr. Iamsosmart. Whether it's a PhD in Psychology, Internal Medicine or Underwater Basketweaving, that Dr. in their title means that they know more than you and they won't let you forget it.
    I dealt with one these in my first planning job...he was a geologist who thought he knew everything there was to know about traffic operations.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Tranplanner
    I dealt with one these in my first planning job...he was a geologist who thought he knew everything there was to know about traffic operations.
    Ugh... then you know the pain. In Davis, I had to deal with this at least once a week. Drove me nuts!
    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    They're not all Mr. Some are Ms. or Mrs.
    Dr. covers both... we got both chick and dude PhD know it alls. Sigh.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Mine are pretty self explanatory and relates to mytheory of people at a publc hearing
    http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showt...=participation


    Mr. Ifoughtinthewar - uses this as a reason for everything and anything. Will typically bring up how many people they killed.
    Ms OrderofCanada - wears that stupid little pin and expects special treatment because of it.
    Ms MarriedtoaFamousPerson -similar to OofC, but expects treatment due to the fame of their spouse
    Mr. Foundingfather - All conversations start with "My family has been here for 200 years....."
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  12. #12
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by donk
    Mr. Foundingfather - All conversations start with "My family has been here for 200 years....."
    Oooooo... good one! I think I've met them before!

  13. #13
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Mr. Incase was born before the great depression and now “collects” everything he can just incase he needs it down the road. He has several sheds and garages packed with things that no one will ever use again. But you know that if you ever need a plastic butter cup lid... you know where to go!
    ^-- Oh, so you know my grandfather?

    What about Mr. Connections, you know, he's very close with the Mayor, *nudge nudge.* He would hate to have to give his good friend Bill a call and let him know he was having trouble with the planning department. You're a smart guy, you know what's up, and he's sure you can just kinda take care of the problem for him. *half smile.*
    Reality does not conform to your ideology.
    http://neighborhoods.chicago.il.us Photographs of Life in the Neighborhoods of Chicago
    http://hafd.org/~jordanb/ Pretentious Weblog.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    I voted for Mr. Bigshot who is neighbors and good friends with Mr. Iknowsoandso. Nothing irritates me more than name droppers, especially when the name that is dropped is a politician, or worse yet, an ex-politician (from another county). I'm only 28 and these names honestly mean nothing to me, then I find out later who the dropped name is and am like ohhhhhhh, so because you know someone who put in 8 years in the city council you get special treatment? I think not... get back in line with the rest.

    *Edit* - Oh Jordanb I see you just beat me to it, I was filing in my post while you hit submit!
    @GigCityPlanner

  15. #15
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jordanb
    What about Mr. Connections, you know, he's very close with the Mayor, *nudge nudge.* He would hate to have to give his good friend Bill a call and let him know he was having trouble with the planning department. You're a smart guy, you know what's up, and he's sure you can just kinda take care of the problem for him. *half smile.*
    Crap! I can't believe I didn't mention that individual. Possibly the worst of the lot!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Plus Salmissra's avatar
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    How about Mr. IhavenocluewhatIneed?

    Comes in with the idea of replacing his detached garage with a newer metal cover, and then while he's at it, he may upgrade/fence/survey/replat his property. Each item on the permit is questioned, and each answer brings up "what does that mean"? Related to Mr. Anal, he will eat up every available minute, with no regard to your schedule.
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

  17. #17
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Mr good old days - "I remember when the zoning bylaw was just a few pages"

    Mr Unabomber - need I say more?

    Mr Comparison - you know, over in (insert town name), they don't ask for all this crap

    Mr dumb as a fox - so now, what permits do I need for this, yet he's been in here doing permitting for years

    yes on the founding fathers one - since I am from away, I don't understand the way things are done here and I should stop bringing that big city Boston stuff up here!

    there is no remedy, they are everywhere

    this is fun to vent about it, though

  18. #18
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by nerudite
    In any college town, it's Dr. Iamsosmart. Whether it's a PhD in Psychology, Internal Medicine or Underwater Basketweaving, that Dr. in their title means that they know more than you and they won't let you forget it.
    I had one of those. She like to introduce herself as xxxxx xxxxxxx, PhD. Then she would proceed on with her comments like she knew everything about planning. She actually made a comment to the effect that "she has a PhD and is therefore more knowledgable on everything." I decided to do some research and found her PhD was in Education and Curriculum... doesn't exactly make you a planning expert, does it?

    Mr Foundingfather is also a problem around here. All of the people involved in the city's incorporation are still around. Their favorite response to everything is "this is not what we, AS FOUNDERS, intended". A few well-timed funerals will make this City much easier to work in.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  19. #19
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    What about Mr. Not in My Front Yard...people who complain about residential through traffic and when you try to do something about it they'll complain about that. They also tend to over-exaggerate things: My child was almost killed by a car from a community 30 miles away going 70mph down our street.
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    Crap! I can't believe I didn't mention that individual. Possibly the worst of the lot!
    Moderator note:
    I HAD to add him to that list.
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  21. #21
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by luckless pedestrian
    Mr Comparison - you know, over in (insert town name), they don't ask for all this crap
    This is the one I hear from more than any others.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  22. #22
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Planderella
    Moderator note:
    I HAD to add him to that list.
    Any way you could add a separate poll option for Chet?
    http://www.cyburbia.org/forums/showp...0&postcount=15
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  23. #23
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman
    I had one of those. She like to introduce herself as xxxxx xxxxxxx, PhD. Then she would proceed on with her comments like she knew everything about planning. She actually made a comment to the effect that "she has a PhD and is therefore more knowledgable on everything." I decided to do some research and found her PhD was in Education and Curriculum... doesn't exactly make you a planning expert, does it?
    Sounds a bit like a few people that I know with the letters AICP!
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    You need to add some options for those of us in the private sector. If I didn't have to be concerned about billable hours, I could probably list a few...

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Mr. ShopAround: he doesn't like what you tell him, he'll call another planner, then another, hoping to get the answer he wants

    Mr. PropertyValues: anything, anything, the government or a developer or a neighbor wants to do is going to "lower" his property values. Of course, he has NO documentation to that effect.

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