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Thread: Confused about women….

  1. #1
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Confused about women….

    Wow, michaelskis has concerns about is relationships… go figure. I am not going to go into details. A while back, I asked what qualities are important in a significant other, now I am asking, how do you know if it is going to work, or if it is time to get real and end things before they get bad?

    All I am going to say is I realized that my GF’s future direction for her lifestyle is almost opposite from what I want.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  2. #2
    Cyburbian iamme's avatar
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    How opposite?

    Differences over desired # of kids or difference between neo-bohemian BOHO and a soccer mom?

  3. #3
    Well things do have to get bad for most relationships to end or get better. Trust your instincts. What kind of differences are we talking about?

  4. #4
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    I think I can relate...different directions have ended one or two in my life. But please elaborate...

    In my situation, I wanted to relocate for a new job in NH from NY and she was unwilling to leave...so I left her. Not for NH in the end, but for my own life.
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  5. #5
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Considering I got booted for similar reason's (even though the lifestyle difference's were not that big to me) I say jump ship before you get thrown overboard/keel hauled, unless they are things that you can compromise on.

    Please elaborate though for specific advice, I've had to give this a lot of thought lately.
    Last edited by donk; 03 Sep 2004 at 12:27 PM.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  6. #6
    If she wants to go one way, and you want to go another way, there's a simple solution. Go her way because it's the right way (just ask her).
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  7. #7

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    You don't know.

    If you want to know for sure, you'll never have a lasting relationship. You're going to grow and change, she's going to grow and change. And that's good. If you have a passion that brings you together, then take it a day at a time and that passion will either carry you through the changes, or it won't: but you'll have had passion while it lasted. If you are together because you were lonely, or thought you "should," or any of the other reasons we sometimes get involved (and I am not saying such involvements are bad - all myths about romantic love aside, we all need to practice relationships, just like we practice to be good at anything else) then let it die its natural death. You'll be hurt, maybe, but that's good, too (easy for me to say, huh, but I've been there and could be there again, who knows). There's no real growth without pain.

  8. #8
    Stick with her until you find someone who you are more compatible with. That is probably what she is doing. Just Kidding!

    I would stuck with it for a little while..maybe another month or so and see how things are going. I had a friend who said that he wanted kids and his wife didn't ever want kids. After they were married she changed her mind and now they have a son. I think that people's outlook and plans change as they reach different stages in their lives. However, I wouldn't bet the bank on it. There are some people who never change.

    Otherwise if the different goals are putting a strain on the relationship and in your mind it seems destined to fail, I would end it ASAP. Why prolong the inevitable?
    "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    - Homer Simpson

  9. #9
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Just roll with it, Dude. I used to end things at the slightest hint of differences. I learned to roll with it-- if you think too much, you believe too much.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    I'm in a situation that has challenged every once of sanity I think I have. Yes, there is a woman in the middle of this swirling abyss of confusion and doubt. It would me nice if she would just tell me that I'm a toy for her. I could live with that as long as I was dusted off every once in awhile. On the other hand, we are great friends and probably will be for the rest of our lives.

    I WILL STOP NOW, unless someone is interested in the specifics. Queen B is tired of hearing about it and Rumpy thinks it's hilarious.
    Last edited by Dan; 29 Apr 2005 at 12:07 AM. Reason: Removed some information that harms a user's privacy

  11. #11
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    After reading through this thread, comparing and contrasting the comments to my reflections on the recent events in my life, I have come to the conclusion that I will be totally and hopelessly confused with women for the rest of my life. Indeed, I think I give up (notice no winky face).

  12. #12
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    After reading through this thread, comparing and contrasting the comments to my reflections on the recent events in my life, I have come to the conclusion that I will be totally and hopelessly confused with women for the rest of my life. Indeed, I think I give up (notice no winky face).
    [start new age mumbo jumbo]
    And is that something to be upset about? Acceptance and letting go of attachments, expectations and desires is a good thing . According to the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism you my friend have started yourself on the path to Nirvana. :rolleyes:
    [/end new age mumbo jumbo]

    Hey, giving up ain't such a bad thing because A) we're kidding ourselves if we think we will ever understand the opposit sex, and B) when you give up is usually when things start getting better. Perhaps it's because you just don't are anymore, but it seems better non-the-less.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    If you are asking this question, it is time to move on.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian ludes98's avatar
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    From another thread:

    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    It went well, but the more I think about the relationship, the more I start to realize that her and I want to go into different directions in life...

    A guy from work is making sure that I have options...
    :d: resisting.....resisting....

  15. #15
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Dude, You'll know when you have found the right one. Let me offer you this:

    Women are like new bicycle seats in the bicycle store. They may look nice, have interesting lines, and grab your attention but 9 out of 10 of them are a pain in the ass. You have to shop around and -metaphorically- ride a few, until you find one that fits you well. You'll know when the fit is right. Conversely, to women men are like bicycle seats...

  16. #16
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Chet
    If you are asking this question, it is time to move on.
    Not necessarily. I had to ask myself the same question a few times in my relationship with BME. I think the older that you get, the more baggage you come with. And some you can deal with, and some you can't. It took a few months of soul searching and a lot of talks, before I decided that this is the life for me. I think anyone considering marriage or long-term commitments comes across the question at some point or another. Now, the fact that he's asking US... well, maybe that's a bad sign. But the question itself is one that I've gone through with all of my relationships, including my present one. It doesn't always have to spell the end of the relationship.

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by biscuit
    and B) when you give up is usually when things start getting better.
    I agree. The problem is I didn't care, wasn't trying and wasn't looking ---- and them
    BAM !!!!!!!!!! There she was. I was like being hit by a linebacker and getting the wind knocked out of you. Listening to Dan's dating woes makes me think that we try too hard.

  18. #18
    maudit anglais
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    Quote Originally posted by el Guapo
    Women are like new bicycle seats in the bicycle store. They may look nice, have interesting lines, and grab your attention but 9 out of 10 of them are a pain in the ass. You have to shop around and -metaphorically- ride a few, until you find one that fits you well. You'll know when the fit is right. Conversely, to women men are like bicycle seats...
    Reminds me of the old Benny Hill skit... "Women's bike seats for sale - New: $5, Used: $10.

    Without hearing more about why you're having second thoughts it's pretty hard to offer any constructive advice. If you're not used to being confused by women by now, you haven't been in enough relationships


  19. #19
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Budgie
    I agree. The problem is I didn't care, wasn't trying and wasn't looking ---- and them
    BAM !!!!!!!!!! There she was. I was like being hit by a linebacker and getting the wind knocked out of you. Listening to Dan's dating woes makes me think that we try too hard.
    Ah, yes my son. Be like water and embrace the path of less resistance. Trying to make things work is only just delaying the inevitable. And even if you think you've worked through a problem in a a relationship, sooner or later another situation will arise that will give you trouble. Perhaps this just works for people like Budgie, but life just seems to go so much smoother for those that are either blissfully unaware or blissfully just don't care.

    Me thinks that young Michael might have better luck in love of he were to adopt a less analytical approach to it.

  20. #20

    Because I want to be helpful.

    How to shower like a woman

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to
    whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
    sit-ups.

    Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
    loofah and pumicestone.

    Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash
    hair again to make sure it is clean.

    Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural
    avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.

    Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Shave armpits and legs. Trim pubes.
    Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots
    with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in
    super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see
    boyfriend along the way, cover any exposed areas.

    How to shower like a man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed leave in a pile.
    Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way - shake knob at
    Her making woo-hoo sound.

    Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of knob and scratch your
    @rse.

    Get in the shower.
    Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the
    water rinse it off.

    Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in
    the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your
    bum, leaving four pubes stuck on the soap.

    Shampoo hair. Make shampoo mohawk.
    Pee.
    Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off.
    Fail to notice water on the floor. Admire knob size in mirror again.
    Leave
    shower door open, leave wet mat on the floor, leave light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
    towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.

  21. #21
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Woo-hoo

    Quote Originally posted by Spatial_Monkey
    How to shower like ...
    Can you guess how many people I just sent this too??? lmfao
    I am so simple minded....

  22. #22
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    Yeah I laughed at that too.

    In 1997.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jordanb
    Yeah I laughed at that too.

    In 1997.
    when he finally learned to read

    Skis, I don't think it's a good sign to have these feelings so soon. You've said you see you going in two directions and usually, in my experience, if the directions are complete opposites it's not good. Now, if it's something like she's veers a little to the right of your path and compromises could be made that could be something to consider if you would not be compromising everything you believe in to do so. Hope it gets better for you.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Well I am not at work today because I am in Traverse City with my Buddy and his GF, seeing how other couples are, make me more so realize issues.

    Some issues are, I am a romantic, she is not
    I am more social, she likes to stay home unless it is a big group going out.
    I would like to stay in SW Michigan... she is not sure
    I would like to raise me kids Catholic, but she does not beleive in that.
    I dress up when we go out, she wears just about the same thing any time we go out, (she is dressy at work,,, but not with me)
    I like some affection in public, she does not.
    I like to spend more time with her, but it still feels like a long distance relationship.
    *there are several others as well.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  25. #25
    Member Wulf9's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by el Guapo
    Dude, You'll know when you have found the right one. Let me offer you this:

    Women are like new bicycle seats in the bicycle store. They may look nice, have interesting lines, and grab your attention but 9 out of 10 of them are a pain in the ass.
    However, Brooks Saddles (a type of bicycle seat) are a pain until broken in, then are comfortable for a lifetime. On the negative side, it takes a couple of years to break in a Brooks Saddle.

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