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Thread: What are your best denial phrases?

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    What are your best denial phrases?

    Does anyone have some real zingers? I'm desperately looking for inspiration (I'm in too damn good of a mood to be evil right now).

    The only thing I could come up with would work for a soft denial..

    recommend approval subject to a series of conditions to ensure the building architecture and site layout establishes an acceptable level of quality for the *** **** Area.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Funny one.....

    Quote Originally posted by Habanero
    Does anyone have some real zingers? I'm desperately looking for inspiration (I'm in too damn good of a mood to be evil right now).

    The only thing I could come up with would work for a soft denial..

    recommend approval subject to a series of conditions to ensure the building architecture and site layout establishes an acceptable level of quality for the *** **** Area.
    I used to work with a guy that would say "Tear It Down, Tear It Down" to those who were denied a permit for illegally constructed buildings......those were fun times.....
    Skilled Adoxographer

  3. #3
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    When I saw the title "denial phrases" I thought you were going in a totally different direction with the denial. I thought you were referring to a psychological state rather than to a staff recommendation.
    TOP 5 DENIAL PHRASES
    1. I ain't drunk. YOU the ones that's drunk if y'all think I am.
    2. Oh, I gained some weight after having my second child. I'll lose it when the kids start school and I have time to go to the gym.
    3. Well, I plan on working just a couple years longer - just till I'm 69. That way I'll have a much more secure retirement.
    4. The ol' '90 Bonneville is leaking some oil but I figure if I'm adding a quart every two gas tanks I can probably get by for another couple years before needing a new car.
    5. No, we're not putting Fluffy down. Sure she's 15, and blind, and has seizures occasionally, but I don't think she's suffering.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  4. #4
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    4. The ol' '90 Bonneville is leaking some oil but I figure if I'm adding a quart every two gas tanks I can probably get by for another couple years before needing a new car.
    You must mean my 93 Explorer! How did you know!
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    As previously stated in my letter dated August 14, 2004, the above-referenced plan fails to meets the guidelines listed in Section 2.3.7-D of the Subdivision of Land Regulations. Therefore it is our position that you STEP OFF, BEEYOTCH! You couldn' t develop your way out of a wet paper bag if your own momma needed a place to live. That future-slum isn’t fit for this or any town. I wouldn’t live in one of those shacks if I was homeless in January wearing nothing but a towel. TALK TO THE HAND, MR. MONEYBAGS!

    That's how I'd do it. Let me know what happens.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Trail Nazi's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    When I saw the title "denial phrases" I thought you were going in a totally different direction with the denial. I thought you were referring to a psychological state rather than to a staff recommendation.
    2. Oh, I gained some weight after having my second child. I'll lose it when the kids start school and I have time to go to the gym.

    Do you mean I have to wait until the second kid before I can use that excuse? ....foiled again.

    I was thinking the same thing as Maister. My personal favorite is "umhuh, I hear you. I'll take that into consideration."

    As to your real question, I would state that the project was approval subject to the following conditions: ................................................

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    "Sorry, that's a hell, no".

  8. #8
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    "That's a very good question. We'll research it and get back to you."

  9. #9
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    "The process can take upwards of 6 months, the application fee is $2000 and I'll need you to go see a surveyor, a lawyer and a planning consultant before we are able to process your application." Known locally as the scare white trash gambit.

    "No, I'll be seeing you in court if you do what we've told you not to do". This one is the snappy comeback to "see you in court" expressed by the white trash mentioned above.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I remember dealing repeatedly with a RLS that found it most convenient to do shoddy work, have us tell him whats wrong with it, then fix it to our standards. Apparently, that is easier than doing the code research to do it right the first time. The problem is, it costs his clients more money, and costs us more time. Since our review letters went to the applicant and not the RLS, on several occassions I would conclude the letter with "Frankly, Mr. [developer], this is the poorest quality of submittal that has crossed my desk since the last submittal from [RLS]. I am sure that you are aware of our chargeback policies, and I would hope that you recover your charges in excess of our intial review from the "professional" that you have retained."

  11. #11
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I regret to inform you that your application for your front porch could not be approved at this time due to has been located with in the required front setbacks. We further regret to inform you the street is not your front property line. You have 5 days to remove the illegal structure or we will contact our demo contractor will attach a chain to his truck and the other end around your porch, and part of the house. He will then remove the porch, (and anything else that falls down with it) without your permission. Then we will send you the bill for removal, a fine for having an insecure structure, a fine for building materials on the property without a valid building permit, a fine for an unsafe structure, as well as a fine for a noise violation caused by the demolition. It might be in your best interest to get out and remove it your self.

    Thank you for your anticipated cooperation. If you have any questions, please go to *&$#



    Other type... no I will get my work done after I check to see what is going on in the world of Cyburbia.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Q. What's wrong with a big rubber stamp using red ink ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  13. #13
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA
    Q. What's wrong with a big rubber stamp using red ink ?
    Because you have to attend the next public hearing in 2 or 3 weeks?

  14. #14
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    "No, our code doesn't allow for that... Too restrictive? Hmmm... Perhaps. Go try and build it in Eugene."
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

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