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Thread: Tales of bad/bizarre relatives’ behavior

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Tales of bad/bizarre relatives’ behavior

    Zman just reminded me in a recent post about the time I posted about some of the outrageous Thanksgiving happenings that have taken place with the in-laws (e.g. announcing the dog licked the turkey while people are eating it) and I recall some other posts where I told y’all about my grandmother’s infamous holiday and birthday gift-giving (e.g. packages of dreidel napkins, boxes of tampons, Ebony Reflections birthday cards, etc.).

    I’ll throw out another freebie. My mother’s father was a raging alcoholic, which is its own tragic tale, but an oft-told family anecdote about him is that he used to be a real law ‘n’ order supporter and on one occasion tried to “help” (at least in his mind) the police catch a speeder. Seems he got involved in a high speed chase while he had a good buzz on and pulled in front of a car speeding with a cop apparently in pursuit. He managed to get in front and put his car into a sideways slide and caused the vehicle to jam on his brakes – the cop car crashed into the stopped vehicle. They were traveling on a four-lane road and it turns out the car was speeding to get into the other lane so as to get out of the cops way who was racing to respond to a call on the other side of town! Yep, grampa lost his license a while for that one.

    It occurs to me, though, that I can’t be the only one out there with family members who act kooky or eccentric. Let’s hear your amusing and/or distressful tales.
    Last edited by Maister; 09 Oct 2007 at 11:16 AM.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    My mom can be... how shall I put it... socially awkward. She sucks at sarcasm and often speaks without thinking, and has no idea why people would find the things she says to be offensive.

    I was at my grandmother's visitation, 4 hours from where I now live. My husband couldn't get off work so he stayed home. My in-laws came to the visitation, cause they live nearby. I didn't have my cellphone on me, and my mother-in-law came up to me and said that my husband had just called her and said he was in a car accident. I borrowed her phone and called him back immediately. A paramedic answered and said they were loading him into the ambulance. Turned out it was just as a precaution and they kept him overnight for observation. His airbag beat him up pretty good, but he was fine. But, at that point I didn't know how bad it was and to have this news, on top of being at my grandma's visitation, was just too much and I started crying. My mom actually rolled her eyes and said "He'll be fine. Maybe going though an accident like this, when you aren't there, will teach him to be more self-sufficient." Even worse was that she said this right in front of my in-laws, who themselves were upset by the fact that their son was in an accident and none of us could be there with him, and we didn't know how bad it was.

    I could go on and on with stories about my mom saying totally inappropriate things.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Haha...I have a few....but the most notable boorish holiday behavior belongs to my mother who is no longer with us. She was having a beef (she said he was rude to her-it really was over nothing) with my then husband and declared that she would not be coming to the extended family Christmas Eve dinner if he was there. My aunt called to tell me this and I basically asked what I should do because I didn't have an interest in attending without my husband and thought my mom was being selfish and should set aside differences for a couple hours. My uncle called and said to come and bring the kid and hubby and my mom could stay home by herself if she wished since she was being childish. It's exactly what we did and my mother spent Christmas Eve by herself at her house. She never repeated her act again.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I'll start by saying my brother's wife and I can't stand each other.

    At their wedding reception, for some reason, she asked me to accompany her to the ladies room to help her dress to leave. Her mother walked in, said "Get out of here, I want to talk to my daughter". Okay.... I went out to get two pieces of the wedding cake for our maids who were back at my parents' house, getting ready for the family to descend on the house. SIL's mom shows up and says "I paid for that, you can't take that!". It was funny later when they arrived at my parents' house and my mom says to SIL's mom "Glo, you haven't met Randy's sister" and she turned around and saw who she'd been so nasty to at the reception.

    Then there was the time my brother was hunting and his wife had her sister up for the weekend and farmed all the kids out. They got drunk and SIL called me and proceeded to tell me in great detail what a loser I was with guys while her never-married sister is laughing in the background. Just what you want to hear after a divorce. I called my brother when he got home and he made her call and apologize although she said she could not remember a word she'd said.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    I was attending my ex-BILs first of three weddings. Because of a little accident I had, my jaws were wired shut (at the time, that was a good thing). Anyway, the ex-FIL sat directly in front of me at the church. He was wearing a thin, yellow polyester leisure suit and black Chuck Taylor Converse tennis shoes--believe it. When we stood at one point in the ceremony, I could see he was wearing red boxer shorts under the suit. Because my jaws were wired, I couldn't laugh out loud. The ex-MIL (they were divorced), heard me snickering then she finally saw what I saw and had a good laugh herself. That ex-FIL was a pig.
    Annoyingly insensitive

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    My cousin married into the Chicago mob. The wedding reception was... odd. I got my mom drunk and after some enabling she patted down Uncle SAL. He feaked out but backed off.

    Later, all these olde men with white hair (more in ears than on head) sat in a corner table. A kid popped a baloon and they all jumped up - hands in pockets.

    We never went to a family reunion after that.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
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    Last Sunday out for breakfast, my father in law, who is hard of hearing, was talking WAY too loud about pedophile priests and somehow trying to justify it in his 77 year old, 10th grade educated, blue collar, non-church going, conservative perspective. All around us in close quarters us are families eating, many I'm sure right after mass.

    CHECK PLEASE!

  8. #8
    Cyburbian iamme's avatar
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    My sister, my aunt, and I went out for dinner at a nicer pub with good food and an outdoor patio. After dinner, my aunt proclaimed her desire to "feed the birds" and started throwing bread into the street and onto the sidewalk in full view of the approximately dozen people on the patio. Good Times!

  9. #9
    Cyburbian KSharpe's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TOFB View post
    Last Sunday out for breakfast, my father in law, who is hard of hearing, was talking WAY too loud about pedophile priests and somehow trying to justify it in his 77 year old, 10th grade educated, blue collar, non-church going, conservative perspective. All around us in close quarters us are families eating, many I'm sure right after mass.

    CHECK PLEASE!
    So...how did that arguement go? I thought blue collar men hated gays
    Do you want to pet my monkey?

  10. #10
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    I think I already told this one, but my uncle (who we don't ever talk about and I only met him once) showed up to my grandfathers funeral (HIS father) after being gone for Lord knows who long... So he shows up, and refused to borrow clothes because "he was too proud".

    So, he wore, to the visitation *and* the funeral, a tshirt that said: "support your local hookers"

  11. #11
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TOFB View post
    Last Sunday out for breakfast, my father in law, who is hard of hearing,
    Not a relative but this was too good not to share. Mrs. ofos & I were at a gathering of friends and conversation turned to a news story about a crematory operator who had not been actually cremating folks but instead was giving the bereaved relatives powdered cement in the urns. One of elderly men on hearing (sort of) the story said loudly, "WHY WAS HE PUTTING SEMEN IN THEM?" Massive drink spewing ensued.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  12. #12
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by KSharpe View post
    So...how did that arguement go? I thought blue collar men hated gays
    There was no argument, and I usually try to avoid discussions on such topics for fear he will say something loud and stupid. He is a good man, just tries too hard to have complex discussions on.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TOFB View post
    Last Sunday out for breakfast, my father in law, who is hard of hearing, was talking WAY too loud about pedophile priests and somehow trying to justify it in his 77 year old, 10th grade educated, blue collar, non-church going, conservative perspective. All around us in close quarters us are families eating, many I'm sure right after mass.

    CHECK PLEASE!
    My mom has been hard of hearing (well, pretty much deaf) for a decade and it is a huge source of embarrassment when we eat out. I say "Well, today Conner and Nate...blah blah..." and Mom says real loud "Oh is that that black boy??? Can't Conner find someone else to play with?". Oh, she's kinda also of that mindset that "if black people get into the country club, I will never go again" which is bizarre since one of my parents' oldest and dearest friends was Armenian and he couldn't get into their club, although he was their guest many times. I guess there is also a general frustration of having to yell all the time at restaurants because Mom won't wear her hearing aid because (and she's 91) it "makes me look old".

  14. #14
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    I'll start by saying my brother's wife and I can't stand each other.

    At their wedding reception, for some reason, she asked me to accompany her to the ladies room to help her dress to leave. Her mother walked in, said "Get out of here, I want to talk to my daughter". Okay.... I went out to get two pieces of the wedding cake for our maids who were back at my parents' house, getting ready for the family to descend on the house. SIL's mom shows up and says "I paid for that, you can't take that!". It was funny later when they arrived at my parents' house and my mom says to SIL's mom "Glo, you haven't met Randy's sister" and she turned around and saw who she'd been so nasty to at the reception.

    Then there was the time my brother was hunting and his wife had her sister up for the weekend and farmed all the kids out. They got drunk and SIL called me and proceeded to tell me in great detail what a loser I was with guys while her never-married sister is laughing in the background. Just what you want to hear after a divorce. I called my brother when he got home and he made her call and apologize although she said she could not remember a word she'd said.
    Like Mother...like daughter.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

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