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Thread: Confide with me (I'm not a priest)

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Confide with me (I'm not a priest)

    Come on, let it all out. Rumpy will listen. Maybe we'll even learn something, like what to avoid in the future. What happens here, stays here, like that Vegas marriage you got last weekend . What's really bothering you in life right now?

    Me, well a whole can of worms. Mainly the job situation, money laundering... I mean money problems, and the overall sense that it doesn't really matter. Or does it. Nahhhh.

    Vent your problems like you would on a hobo that just ate your last can of corn
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  2. #2
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    A Visual Confession

    I gots this rash Rumpy

    and the Doc down at the free clinic said it should be gone by now

    but my babies momma says I deserve the rash cause

    I was fooling around with some nasty coochygirls

    who were into folk music and volvos

    I was careful but now I need some medicine

    and that thar bastard George Shrub Bush

    wont let no medicine in from Cananader.

    help!

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    [BS] EG, I am bookmarking this thread and the next time you start ragging on me about "TMI".....

    And, Rumpy, you lying scoundrel, you swore to me you wouldn't mention my Vegas wedding to anyone or the fact that I am now a bigamist. I will never confide in you again.[/BS]




  4. #4
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    And, Rumpy, you lying scoundrel, you swore to me you wouldn't mention my Vegas wedding to anyone or the fact that I am now a bigamist. I will never confide in you again.[/BS]
    Hey, I've been on this side of MZ and I don't go there anymore. Secondly, Rumpy I have already confided plenty to you, but I find it an interesting that EG quickly responded to this thread, since one of my true confessions is to hire EG for a little perch top sharpshooter action. The target being a certain collection of human flesh that serves no purpose other than being between Budgie and BA. I haven't had an opportunity to taunt "the warden" (as BA refers to him) in about a month. I need to make myself more visible and draw him out of his Playstation induced coma.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    }sound of screen sliding inside confessional.....{

    "Yes?"
    "Ummmm, Father Rumpy, my last confession was a long time ago."
    "Yes, go on."
    "I used obscene language 1,234,546 times."
    "Yes, go on."
    "I did something REAL bad."
    "Go on."
    "I went to WalMart."
    "And...?"
    "I ignored the small mom and pop stores in Hamburg."

    {sound of big lever being pulled}

    "Hey, WTF.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

    Bear A Zillion Feet Beneath The Thruway, Sweating
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    I have been trying to come up with real problems that I could confess to, but what is there to confess? Everyone knows I am going through a divorce and I have No Clue how I will support myself in the very near future. Everyone knows I have health problems. It isn't that I don't have problems that have not been mentioned here before but if they were mentionable in public, I am sure y'all would already know about them.


    MZ -- Still keeping her unmentionables to herself.

  7. #7
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rumpy Tunanator
    ......Vent your problems....
    You are kidding, right? This could turn into another "endless" thread.
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus
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    I have to commend eG for his creativity,
    and MZ for her style/sense of humor.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Oh, I do have an actual, confess-able problem now: I know lots of folks tend to think I am some kind of Fire-breathing Dragon, but, really, it pains me deeply when I hurt people's feelings. So, naturally, I managed to stomp on the metaphorical toes of a friend today. She is taking it pretty personally, overreacting, etc. Blech. I really hate this sh*t.

    So, Rumpy, is that what you had in mind?

  10. #10
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I am considering shopping at wal~mart. The reason, I don't want to pay $17 for razor blades again ( 10 pack of gillette sensors). I've heard they are about $6 cheaper there than at the local drug store or supermarket.

    Does this make me a bad person?
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    So, Rumpy, is that what you had in mind?
    Yes it is.

    I have a confession to make.

    I was drinking the hooch when I made this thread x 12 = .

    I feel better now that I have admitted this
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    I am not Catholic but I desperately need to confess my sins today:

    Please, please, please swear to me that this is CONFIDENTIAL -- just between you, me, and a few thousand total strangers who read this forum -- and that Mr. Zone will NEVER, so long as I live, hear about this from you:

    I was a very bad girl today and I have done something for which Mr. Zone will never forgive me if he learns of it: My sons and I threw 4 bags of books in the dumpster. Oh, the shame of it. Mr. Zone would be horrified, appalled, and would send my photo to the FBI to add to their 10 Most Wanted list....or at least to some librarian.

    Um, please tell me when I start feeling better for having confessed and all. Okay, maybe when I start breathing better I will know I Did The Right Thing, no matter how Forbidden it was. But I was a desperate woman and, if I had to do it over again, I would do the same thing. (Please donate your hyperbole -- I seem to have run out of overly dramatic, silly lines. )

    Gee, this is better than a therapist.
    Last edited by Michele Zone; 25 Oct 2004 at 7:09 PM.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Plus
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    MZ -
    As long those were not over due library books.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA
    MZ -
    As long those were not over due library books.
    No -- they were mildewed books that we owned -- homeschooling resources that my kids were done with and we had already cataloged them so I can start putting together a transcript for my oldest child, who is officially a senior in high school.


    WHoo -- is that it? I feel so much better now. Thank you, thank you.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    My sons and I threw 4 bags of books in the dumpster.
    There shall be no redemption for you. Throwing books in the garbage is a mortal sin (and I don't believe in mortal sins)

    You will spend eternity trying to teach these three to read.

    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    I am not Catholic but I desperately need to confess my sins today:

    Please, please, please swear to me that this is CONFIDENTIAL -- just between you, me, and a few thousand total strangers who read this forum -- and that Mr. Zone will NEVER, so long as I live, hear about this from you:

    I was a very bad girl today and I have done something for which Mr. Zone will never forgive me if he learns of it: My sons and I threw 4 bags of books in the dumpster. Oh, the shame of it. Mr. Zone would be horrified, appalled, and would send my photo to the FBI to add to their 10 Most Wanted list....or at least to some librarian.

    Um, please tell me when I start feeling better for having confessed and all. Okay, maybe when I start breathing better I will know I Did The Right Thing, no matter how Forbidden it was. But I was a desperate woman and, if I had to do it over again, I would do the same thing. (Please donate your hyperbole -- I seem to have run out of overly dramatic, silly lines. )

    Gee, this is better than a therapist.
    I threw some old Playboys away last Saturday. Does that mean I should confess?

    Gotta Hand It To Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Bear Up North
    I threw some old Playboys away last Saturday. Does that mean I should confess?

    Gotta Hand It To Bear
    Only if you are married to a psycho like Mr. Zone....

    Donk, I have no fear. I have been forgiven of my sins. Please see JNA about this matter.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    I have been forgiven of my sins.
    A clean slate! Now go out and tally up a few new ones!
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  19. #19
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    .......[B]I was a very bad girl today and I have done something for which Mr. Zone will never forgive me[/B.....
    how bad?? do you need to be spanked???
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    It appears that more than my Karmic Slate has been cleansed as I can, by god, BREATHE. So, as Madonna said in some song: Absolutely No Regrets.
    Last edited by Michele Zone; 26 Oct 2004 at 1:20 AM.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
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    Rumpy,

    I am finding myself in the habit of leaving a half of a beer on the bar as I leave the the pub at night.

    Am I becoming a chronic alcahol abuser!
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  22. #22
          Downtown's avatar
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    Father Rumpy - My son is teething and had there been a roving band of gypsies in Upstate NY, and in a fit of sleep deprivation induced hysteria, I would have sold him this morning at 4 am in exchange for a pair of giant gypsy - hoop earrings. Actually, I might have GIVEN the gypsies a pair of hoop earrings to take him.

  23. #23
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Father Rumpy forgive me for I have sinned. Last week Monday night after spending the evening publicly consuming fine microbrews in front of my friends, I went home, sat in corner of the basement, turned the lights off and....drank a six of Old Milwaukee light!
    I can't live with myself! What must I do to atone? I don't believe any number of Our Fathers would cut it....
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Downtown
    Father Rumpy - My son is teething and had there been a roving band of gypsies in Upstate NY, and in a fit of sleep deprivation induced hysteria, I would have sold him this morning at 4 am in exchange for a pair of giant gypsy - hoop earrings. Actually, I might have GIVEN the gypsies a pair of hoop earrings to take him.
    You are a good mom. My fantasy was always to pitch my first born out the 3rd floor window of our apartment at 3am.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    Wow, you guys need help, expecially you Maister, you closet Old Milwaukee light drinker. I hope you didn't have a table set up with your ducks sitting with you with their own beers

    I have a new one. When digging for gold or dinosaur fossil, I hide my stash under peoples desks. Just kidding.

    Duke, in order to cure your problem, as soon as you go to open up the bar, finish the beer.
    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

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