Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: New Planners and their Relationships

  1. #1
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    9,029
    Blog entries
    2

    New Planners and their Relationships

    Well, as many may know, I have been out of college and working as a Planner I for about 5 months. I like my job, I'm getting a ton of experience and building relationships with my coworkers and various citizens/clients that our city works with.
    The city I work in is nice, and there is plenty to do on the work side of things, as well as plenty to do outside of work.
    I moved here in May with my girlfriend from college and lately she has been kind of down. Her job is terrible, not much pay and she has student loans and stuff, but she seems to be stagnating here. She told me she needs a change and she hates where her life is going and is regretting some decisions. Thankfully, those regretable decisions do not include living/being with me! She has told me she wants to move back home (North Idaho/Spokane), or somewhere else in the Pac NW.
    I know I won't be at my job forever, and I have lived in Colo. my whole life and would like a change myself, but I want to get some experience and don't want to move right away. My friends are still around (20 Miles east) and my folks live only 90 miles south.
    Have any of you run into this when you all started? If so, how did it go, anything I can do?
    Thanks, Cyburbia!
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    The Cheese State
    Posts
    9,981
    You will always place limitations on yourself if you do not move around in your career, and nobody expects a starting planner to stay more than a couple years in his/her first job. Of course, if you move to Spokane you might just as well give up any hope of a great career in planning. Ask RichmondJake how good it is to be a planner in Idaho.

    What is it the SO is looking for? Is the problem that she is homesick? Is she looking for a larger community? If the two of you can identify what you both might hope to get from a move, then you could narrow down the choices of places, and might both enjoy the change.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  3. #3
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Jukin' City
    Posts
    16,642
    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN
    ...[snip]...she wants to move back home (North Idaho/Spokane), or somewhere else in the Pac NW...[snip]...
    just a bit of advice: Don't ever move to that area...EVER!!! I hated it when I was there and you might have the unfortunate experience of running into my ex....and if you run into her, leave.... when you're sure there is no pulse...thanks

  4. #4
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 1998
    Location
    Greensburg, Kansas
    Posts
    2,964
    Don't leave a job you like in less than a year unless there is absolutely no choice (preferably 2 years). Work out a joint career path with your SO. Find and elaborate on the points of convergence, and set those as goals.

    Damn! I sound like a planner!

    My last town just hired a new director. Based on their past track record, the position should be open again in 18-24 months.

  5. #5
    Member Wulf9's avatar
    Registered
    May 2003
    Location
    Near the Geysers
    Posts
    922
    Mike is right. Two years is best. One year is the minimum.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2004
    Location
    No Where Man
    Posts
    1,519
    ok you are a planner....you can plan your way out of this. one year minimum at the new job...get through the winter and begin to plan your escape. Target an area...go to their state APA conference and meet people..check out the job listing on the state APA website and start sending out the resumes...applications. Involve your girlfriend and help her plan the escape.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  7. #7
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Someplace between yesterday and tomorrow.
    Posts
    12,756
    Moving away can be a good thing. It will give you a better understanding of differences in social interaction in between places, I agree with everyone, make sure you stay at least a year. *I was at my last job one year to the day because it was that bad.

    As for your GF relationships are about compromise, understanding, support, and if you have been in CO all your life, it might be a good thing for the both of you, and bring you closer together.

    I say start looking in places that she is looking, and find compromise.

  8. #8

    Registered
    May 1997
    Location
    Williston, VT
    Posts
    1,371
    Your friend is going to have live with the reality that you need to be in place for a year or three to be able to move on. It would probably be better if you were just as far from your place as you are from hers - you could be homesick together. But you are young and there is plenty of time to explore a lot of places. The 2 of you need to come up with some mutual strategies for enjoying Colorado, which is an incredibly enjoyable place, while looking ahead to a move either to the PNW or to someplace where you are both strangers. You may need to rely less on your old friends and family, and try to build a circle of friends with her while you are still there!

    As for all the negativity about Idaho: ignore it. For one thing there are plenty of places that are not too far West of Spokane that are perfectly acceptable places to be a planner. And while I am not a big Spokane fan, I have had a lot of good times there, it is a livable place. All the whining that surrounds rural planning in E WA and N ID can be tedious, but lots of us have been there, done that, and survived.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    9,029
    Blog entries
    2
    Yeah I agree with you all and we talked last night and decided maybe we just need a change of scenery. We began to look for new rentals (her friend wants to take over our apartment lease) and we are looking for a house to rent, and possibly a dog too.
    We outlined that her problem is frustration with her job. She isn't challenged, she is the only one with a college degree, and she can do better there just isn;t really anything in Northern Colorado that will pay well and offer benefits. So the jjob hunt begins today for her, and she may have to start looking soon b/c she could be laid off too. She admitted if she had a better job she'd be happier so we'll try stuff. She said if we have to wait a year for my experience than we have to wait.
    For the record, North Idaho would be nice to live, but from what I've heard, the planning climate is a little shady. So we'll keep at it though.
    We also are planning a date tonight instead of sitting around. I think we need to start enjoying everything this part of the state has to offer (we are at the foot of the Rockies and the doorstep to Rocky Mtn. Natnl Park) maybe some autumn hiking will do us some good.

    As for eveything else, thank you soo much for listening and weighing in, Cyburbia. I really appreciate the responses and everything we talk about when I get bored here and log on. Thanks Guys.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. Inter-jurisdictional relationships
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 5
    Last post: 25 Jul 2013, 10:29 AM
  2. Replies: 10
    Last post: 15 Jun 2009, 2:54 PM
  3. When Relationships go BAD
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 35
    Last post: 17 Nov 2008, 4:48 PM
  4. Replies: 15
    Last post: 30 Mar 2006, 9:13 AM
  5. Interracial Relationships
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 23
    Last post: 13 May 2003, 11:24 AM