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Thread: Nightmares… or are they?

  1. #1
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Nightmares… or are they?

    So I am on Vicodin, an Antibiotic, a Steroid, and an Antihistamine. I typically don’t take Tylenol if I don’t have to. So my body has gone through some extremes in the past few days. It the point that I wake up reaching for what ever is around me. The biggest thing is the dreams/ nightmares. The f’ed up part is I had a dream and my ex was in it. Not a recent ex, but one from years back, and it was the last one that I seriously considered a good match for me. It took me a while to get over her, but that is just how things are. I just want to know why she is back in my head. I don’t think that she and I could ever be together again, and I don’t think that I would want too just because of the distance thing.

    (Disclaimer: no I am not nuts, I have a priest friend who is also a physiologist, and he said that I am ok)

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    It is normal to have intense dreams in your present circumstances: lots of meds, recent trauma from surgery, the body and mind not knowing WTF to make of it all.

    Dreams are a symbolic language. Some symbols tend to have fairly universal meanings -- like "being late for class" or similar is usually a fear that one has failed (or is failing) to learn an important life lesson. But figures from our past are symbols with personal meaning, derived from the associations surrounding them. You have posted a fair number of threads about relationship issues and it seems pretty clear that you are wrestling with the important questions surrounding how to find someone to marry, not just date. This woman is most likely on your mind because she was the last woman you were serious about and she symbolizes "a potential wife". It doesn't in any way mean that you want HER back, just that you want someone in your life that you could be serious about. Under duress, issues that we are emotionally stressed about often come to the fore in our dreams. You aren't fretting about your career, money, etc. You have been fretting about relationship stuff. No biggie, really: You already knew that, didn't you?

  3. #3
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    I have weird enough dreams without taking any medication, so I can understand! Last nights dream was that I was dating this guy (who I have never dated, but am friendly with, so it was weird that it was him), and we went to an Outkast concert, and he got mad because I wouldn't eat the chicken wings he ordered for me.

    I dreamed that I was making out with my (male) coworker before.

    Neither of them not so much a nightmare, but weird as hell regardless.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Whoa michaelskis, what a coincidence. If I hadn't already disclosed so much personal information today, I would explain my dream last night (no, it didn't involve the adultress). Yes, a former girlfriend from ages ago.
    Annoyingly insensitive

  5. #5
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    I'd have to agree with the coincidence part of it. I actually had a dream last night that involved a Hawaiian girl i used to date like 3 years ago. It was strange because I hadn't thought of her in a while.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  6. #6
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    Dreams are a symbolic language. Some symbols tend to have fairly universal meanings -- like "being late for class" or similar is usually a fear that one has failed (or is failing) to learn an important life lesson. But figures from our past are symbols with personal meaning, derived from the associations surrounding them. You have posted a fair number of threads about relationship issues and it seems pretty clear that you are wrestling with the important questions surrounding how to find someone to marry, not just date. This woman is most likely on your mind because she was the last woman you were serious about and she symbolizes "a potential wife". It doesn't in any way mean that you want HER back, just that you want someone in your life that you could be serious about. Under duress, issues that we are emotionally stressed about often come to the fore in our dreams. You aren't fretting about your career, money, etc. You have been fretting about relationship stuff. No biggie, really: You already knew that, didn't you?
    Thank you! That is what I was hoping it was! So... does anyone know any women that are close to what I am looking for?

    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN
    I'd have to agree with the coincidence part of it. I actually had a dream last night that involved a Hawaiian girl i used to date like 3 years ago. It was strange because I hadn't thought of her in a while.
    Maybe last night was ex dream night!

  7. #7
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    If I would have a sexual dream about my ex, I would have hung myself from the shower rod this morning.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  8. #8
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by giff57
    If I would have a sexual dream about my ex, I would have hung myself from the shower rod this morning.
    Mine was not sexual, it was emotional, but tell us how you truly feel about your ex!

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by giff57
    If I would have a sexual dream about my ex, I would have hung myself from the shower rod this morning.
    But I'd get to that shower rod first if I had dreamed about the adultress.
    Annoyingly insensitive

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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    It doesn't in any way mean that you want HER back, just that you want someone in your life that you could be serious about.
    Ding ding ding!

    I've had nightmares lately too and think it's because I'm not happy with where my life is at the moment. If your love life isn't where you want it, I'm sure there's some anxiety coming out in your dreams.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Thank you! That is what I was hoping it was!
    You are welcome. So, if I were a high paid psychologist, making $120/hour and I spent maybe 2 minutes on that...er, you owe me like four dollars.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Don't worry about it, dreams often don't make sense. And I know I sometimes wake up from an intense dream/nightmare and think "Yuck".

    I think MZ is right about the symbolic meaning of your dream.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    Don't worry about it, dreams often don't make sense.
    Post surgery and on so many meds, I would tend to view a lot of the dreams as "gibberish" -- just random junk surfacing, not necessarily all that meaningful. I think this one does just mean he is looking for someone to be serious about -- but he already knew that about himself. It only seems upsetting because he is presently under duress.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    Post surgery and on so many meds, I would tend to view a lot of the dreams as "gibberish" -- just random junk surfacing, not necessarily all that meaningful. I think this one does just mean he is looking for someone to be serious about -- but he already knew that about himself. It only seems upsetting because he is presently under duress.
    Yep... that too! I am also thinking that maybe the combination of the relationships that my friends are in and the current frustration of not being able to find the right type of woman for me has caused a subconscious fear that the right woman for me is not out there, or I just won't find her. There are particular characteristics that I am looking for in a woman, and I go to places that would reinforce these characteristics, (gym, ski hill, church, nicer bars or clubs, and community events) yet it is very rare for me to find a woman who fits what I am looking for because only one characteristic would apply while the overwhelming majority of other characteristics and personality traits would be opposite from what I am looking for. I would like to say that I am giving up, but I don't think that is the answer either. As for the online thing, I have realized one big thing. I have to ask my self if there was any chance that I would meet this person some place other than on line... if the answer is no, then I know that her and I are just too different.

    I guess the term “if only in my dreams” is a good way to think of my current relationship status.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis

    (Disclaimer: no I am not nuts, I have a priest friend who is also a physiologist, and he said that I am ok)
    Do you really want your Cyburbian comrades to voice an opinion on this????????
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Yep... that too! I am also thinking that maybe the combination of the relationships that my friends are in and the current frustration of not being able to find the right type of woman for me has caused a subconscious fear that the right woman for me is not out there, or I just won't find her.
    I think that's a really, really common fear. And, on the one hand, an intelligent but sociable type is going to be in the minority (smart folks tend to be introverts). On the other hand, there are a few billion people on planet earth and you only need one who works well for you.

  17. #17
    Am I the only who's dreams seem at times wierdly prescient? This can be the ultimate sense of de ja vue all over again.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Your dreams aren't that strange until you start dreaming in cartoon. For some reason, my mental image of myself when I'm in cartoon form resembles the strawberry shortcake doss from the 80s. I don't wear that lame apron though.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    I have had some crazy dreams lately, and even more bizarre ones while on meds. I think they're fun! Because you can't take them too seriously.

    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    and the current frustration of not being able to find the right type of woman for me has caused a subconscious fear that the right woman for me is not out there, or I just won't find her.
    Know that feeling... however, I met the guy I am seeing now when I let go of this fear and embraced my single life... ie I found him when I wasn't looking. Was out having a dance with a girlfriend, not even checking out the talent, and he came over to me. I guess I'm suggesting, don't try so hard, just do the things you enjoy doing, because you want to. And maybe someone will notice, or maybe you'll meet her someplace else.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Even with all the meds I have had in the last two (2) years, my dreams haven't really changed much. I don't remember most of them. No real nightmares that I can recall.

    Of the dreams that I do remember, some of the same people and the same places from my past are visible. Some of these plces and people are in different dreams on different days. Sometimes those dreams include ex-girlfriends or ex-wives.

    Ski-Man.....I agree with MZ, this dream girl was somebody important in your life. It doesn't mean you only think about her.

    Bear Listening To REM
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Mike, you're in your mid-twenties and from what I gather a very outgoing person who dates a lot. You have very little to worry about. No rush, cowboy.


    OT: I had a dream last night I went to Columbus, OH and it was a great, dense, lively city. I've never been there but I don't think it was a realistic dream.

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