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Thread: Create a new APA division

  1. #1
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Create a new APA division

    In the latest APA interact email (yes, it's a lowercase "i"), there was an announcement heralding the creation of the new Latinos and Planning Division. From the APA Web site:

    Latinos and Planning Division

    Latinos and Planning is the only nationwide organization focused on urban planning issues in Latino communities and on career challenges facing Latino planners. Our mission is to work collaboratively with other professionals and organizations to identify and develop strategies related to:

    * The most significant planning issues facing Latino communities
    * The most significant challenges facing Latino planners,
    We've debated over the existence of APA divisions for blacks, women and gays before, and I don't doubt this will be an exception. Instead of wondering why some groups have their own divisions, let's think of some ideas for new divisions. For example:

    Republicans and Planning

    As of November 2006, the most critical challenges we've identified are:

    * Lack of participation in planning by Republicans.

    * The relationship of planners and planning profession to Republican communities, and the need to possess equal firepower.

    * Urban design as it relates to Republican communities; defending gated communities, cul-de-sacs, large-lot development, and zoning codes that require six parking spaces per thousand square feet of retail floor area.

    * The conflicts of planning in Republican communities; the desire to impose strict land use regulations to maintain a genteel New England-flavored built environment versus maintaining a free market and opposition to government interference in land use.

  2. #2
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Labrador Retrievers and Planning

    As of now, the most critical issues are:
    • No sustainable supply of tennis balls
    • Lack of nearby bodies of water per 100 Lab population for critical swimming exercise
    • Environmental pollution caused by overpopulation of dirty, evil neighborhood rabbits
    • Sufficient linear park space for frisbee play
    • Lack of continuous food bowl filling
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  3. #3
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Planning and Libertarians

    Critical issues that need to be addressed:

    * The lack of government programs designed to eliminate government
    * The existence of planners
    * The existence of land use regulations
    * The existence of any regulations
    * The existence of government
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  4. #4
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mendelman View post
    Labrador Retrievers and Planning

    As of now, the most critical issues are:
    • No sustainable supply of tennis balls
    • Lack of nearby bodies of water per 100 Lab population for critical swimming exercise
    • Environmental pollution caused by overpopulation of dirty, evil neighborhood rabbits
    • Sufficient linear park space for frisbee play
    • Lack of continuous food bowl filling

    sign me up!!
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Headbangers in Planning

    Key issues:

    1. Over zealous noise ordinances;
    2. Context-Sensitive Pyrotechnics;
    3. Makeshift stage permit requirements;
    4. Maximum Height of hair (MHH) standards (prevalent in the mid-80's);
    5. GALIP - Headbangers Subchapter (co-chaired by Wendy O. Williams and Rob Halford).

    *******

    I seem to be on a hair theme for some reason today.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Winos and Planning

    Key Issues of Concern:

    * Lack of participation in planning from winos
    * Drug-free, zero-tolerance workplaces
    * Lack of a diverse and supportive national network of winos in planning
    * Over-regulation of interstate wine sales
    * Introduction of synthetic bottle corks
    * Lack of programs to promote the consumption of wine
    * Impact of redevelopment and gentrification on traditional wino habitat

  7. #7
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    Key Issues of Concern:

    * Lack of participation in planning from winos
    * Drug-free, zero-tolerance workplaces
    * Lack of a diverse and supportive national network of winos in planning
    * Over-regulation of interstate wine sales
    * Introduction of synthetic bottle corks
    * Lack of programs to promote the consumption of wine
    * Impact of redevelopment and gentrification on traditional wino habitat
    Wouldn't that be "Wineauxs"?
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    Excellent work by mendelman on Teh New APA Division for
    Labrador Retrievers and Planning

    Would Newfies & Goldens qualify for membership ?
    And would it be wrong to dis any and all toy dogs ?
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Planning and the Height-Impaired

    Key Issues:

    Can't see over the dais/podium at public hearings
    Lack of respect from citizens referring to females as "Little Missy"
    Regulation of filing cabinet height in offices
    Limits on field visits; can't keep up with taller colleagues; and, reduction in city block lengths to accommodate shorter stride
    Short planners are generally paid less than taller planners
    Clothing subsidies for business attire (can shop only at high-end stores)
    Free growth-hormone therapy

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Plus JNA's avatar
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    ZG - you forgot the height of the front counter.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  11. #11
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Perverts in Planning

    Main issues:

    Heavy regulation of strip clubs
    Distinctions between nude and topless dancing un-warranted
    Anti-Dirty Bookstore movement
    % of video store materials restriction
    Regulation of Escort Services
    "The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
    John Kenneth Galbraith

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Wiccans and Pagans in Planning

    -Securing a Vegan food supply
    -Sustainability without Deoderant / Antiperspirants
    -GALIP friendly. Peace out

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA View post
    ZG - you forgot the height of the front counter.
    Off-topic:
    No sirree. I'm not getting baited by you again. I get myself into enough trouble without your help, thank you very much.

    BTW, I thought about her division...but no, I couldn't go there.


  14. #14
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The One View post
    Main issues:

    Heavy regulation of strip clubs
    Distinctions between nude and topless dancing un-warranted
    Anti-Dirty Bookstore movement
    % of video store materials restriction
    Regulation of Escort Services
    You forgot to use the words turgid and areola.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  15. #15
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The One View post
    Main issues:

    Heavy regulation of strip clubs
    Distinctions between nude and topless dancing un-warranted
    Anti-Dirty Bookstore movement
    % of video store materials restriction
    Regulation of Escort Services
    don't forget the importance of site visits...

  16. #16
    Quote Originally posted by The One View post
    Main issues:

    Heavy regulation of strip clubs
    Distinctions between nude and topless dancing un-warranted
    Anti-Dirty Bookstore movement
    % of video store materials restriction
    Regulation of Escort Services
    O.T. A jurisdiction I worked for had an adult bookstore open up and we didn't have any regulations governing it ( it was a place that nobody thought one would open up). I had to do an adult entertainment study and write an ordinance covering it. The only thing I've got to say is that there are some truly sick people out there.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  17. #17
    Cyburbian SGB's avatar
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    Organizational Structure Division

    As of now the most critical challenges we've identified are:
    • A lack of divisions in the APA to represent all possible classifications of our membership.
    • The need to promote divisiveness amongst APA membership. A sense of group cohesiveness and commonality must be stopped before it begins.
    • Promoting a group classification structure that facilitate additional revenue-generating fee structures for the organization.
    Did I forget anything?
    All these years the people said he’s actin’ like a kid.
    He did not know he could not fly, so he did.
    - - Guy Clark, "The Cape"

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Grassroots's avatar
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    some of these divisions don't make sense

    I don't know how all you feel, but I think some of these the divisions are a crock. Whereas I can appalud divisions that play to certain planner's CAREER strongpoints or focus (i.e. new urbanism, rural planning, etc...), I think RACIAL and LIFESTYLE divisions in APA is flat out dumb. The same reason why I can't get over hyphenated Americans. You are an American and likewise you are a planner...plain and simple. The racial and lifestyle divisions play to people's insecurities in who they are IMHO. Just my two cents and sorry if it goes against the more humorous slant of this thread.
    Jesse Ventura in 2012!

    "Inside every small problem is a big one trying to get government funding"

  19. #19
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    The West and Planning (not affiliated with Western Planners)

    Key Issues:
    - Paid holidays for snow days, the first week of hunting season and the salmonfly hatch.

    - Inclusion of the term "Californication" in the definition section of all planning documents.

    - Resort town seminars - in Cancun or Barbados and not in Red Lodge, MT.

    - Site visits to include a sanctioned stop at the neighborhood saloon in order to get the "local flavor."

    - Planning truck must have a hemi.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  20. #20
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Planners and Planning: A division to recognize that planners should provide technical assistance for the efficient operation of government.
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  21. #21
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by DetroitPlanner View post
    Planners and Planning: A division to recognize that planners should provide technical assistance for the efficient operation of government.
    This is a prime example of just how many whacked out, oddball splinter groups there are out there!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Children and Planning Division

    Key Issues:

    *Lack of children in the planning profession.
    *Exceedingly high unemployment rates among children. (Let's repeal those child labor laws!)
    *Lack of participation of children in public planning meetings.
    *Car-centric planning, which is completely discriminatory towards children, most of whom cannot drive.
    *Lack of political power and political will of children.
    *Plus all the issues ZG cites for the height-impaired since most children are so short compared to adults.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian
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    The Red China APA Division
    Key Issues
    -Outsorucing and how it's great for the US: we'll do all the planning for you.
    -Civil Liberties and the US: You really think you need them?
    -Democracy: The people weren't that bight anyways, our leaders can make better decisions.
    -Sprawl: The first city that aproves a subdivision that has a layout depicting Mao wins.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Planning and Soccer Moms

    Advocates and supports the Soccer moms, and dads of the world so their spawn *cough* kids can have big yards they never use, "safe" schools and be driving to school less than a mile away in a monster SUV.

    -Provide a support and lobby for huge SUV parking, streets and garages. Heck our own lanes!
    -Advocate for more cul-de-sacs
    -Provide a strong base for NIMBY (or anywhere else) mindset
    -Facilitate a Starbucks on every corner with a Wallyworld close to every home (but not so they can see the lights)
    -Provide Soccer mom husbands with a way to exchange info on building an addition without a permit
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Big Owl's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Grassroots View post
    I don't know how all you feel, but I think some of these the divisions are a crock. Whereas I can appalud divisions that play to certain planner's CAREER strongpoints or focus (i.e. new urbanism, rural planning, etc...), I think RACIAL and LIFESTYLE divisions in APA is flat out dumb. The same reason why I can't get over hyphenated Americans. You are an American and likewise you are a planner...plain and simple. The racial and lifestyle divisions play to people's insecurities in who they are IMHO. Just my two cents and sorry if it goes against the more humorous slant of this thread.
    Off-topic:
    That would sound better in a Robert D. Raiford of the John Boy and Billy morning showvoice.

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