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Thread: "Tell Our Viewers About Yourself"

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    "Tell Our Viewers About Yourself"

    As anyone who's ever seen a game show knows, there comes a time when contestants must reveal some quirky story or bit of information about themselves. I just don't know what amusing anectdote I would tell Alex Trebek and all the viewers at home. What would you say when its your turn to "tell us about yourself?"

  2. #2
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Usually, when being interviewed and pressed for personal details of a quirky nature I like to list three mundane things and one very obviously fabricated detail. "Well Alex let's see... I live in Albany with my wife of 20 years and we have three children. I work as a computer programmer and was recently voted 'Most Likely to Go Postal' by my coworkers...." (most people know I don't live in Albany)
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  3. #3
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    I did a lot of college in drinking, Alex.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian clare2582's avatar
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    Aren't you waiting for someone to just dish everything to Alex, country song style?
    "My dog died, my wife left me, my car broke down and now I have to walk 3 miles every day to a dead end job and back home again to a dumpy apartment on the bad side of town. I eat frozen dinners every night and watch you, Alex, every night at 7:30. You're such an inspiration. Its gives me hope to see that even snooty know-it-alls with no personalities can make it big. Oh, and Canada is great, I really like your bacon!"

  5. #5
    Cyburbian boilerplater's avatar
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    I once had my elbow dislocated by being thrown on the ground by a policeman at a political protest. The police department "lost" any record of the incident happening.
    Adrift in a sea of beige

  6. #6
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    "Well, Alex, some day I am gone to put you out of a job, thank you for asking."

  7. #7
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by clare2582
    Its gives me hope to see that even snooty know-it-alls with no personalities can make it big.
    Did anyone happen to catch the 60 minutes interview of Alex? At one point Ed asks him 'do you really know the answers to most of the questions, because you sure come off that way?' Alex responds 'I probably know about 75% of them.'
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    I knew someone who was on Jeopardy in the late 1980s or early 1990s. He won for several days in a row, and I remember Alex making the most of the fact that Josh had once been in a punk rock band...though he no longer looked the part.

    Yep, even former punk rockers are smart enough to win $65k...

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Floridays's avatar
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    Hello Alex,
    I notice a little more gray in the beard...heh heh heh...hope it hasn't traveled too far south..."

  10. #10
    Cyburbian jread's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Floridays
    Hello Alex,
    I notice a little more gray in the beard...heh heh heh...hope it hasn't traveled too far south..."
    Is it true that you really do get gray hair on the ****s when you get old because the thought of that is terrifying......

  11. #11
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mud Princess
    I knew someone who was on Jeopardy in the late 1980s or early 1990s. He won for several days in a row, and I remember Alex making the most of the fact that Josh had once been in a punk rock band...though he no longer looked the part.

    Yep, even former punk rockers are smart enough to win $65k...
    One kid at College swore that our Planning Professor was on Jepardy once. He asked her about it and she dodged the question. He did say she was winning a lot though...
    This kid though subscribed to a higher form of "herbal refreshment" and always had some theory or crazy story to tell....
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    Maybe I'd say something like "one funny story, Alex, is the time I strangled a man who tried to cheat me at Trivial Pursuit. To feel a man stop breathing as your hands squeeze around his neck is something everyone should experience at least once. . . that and I love tennis."

  13. #13
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    I think I would go completely nonscense on them.

    Alex: Says here that you once had to borrow a pair of pants from Alec Baldwin after a rather awkward encounter with Madelyn Albright.

    biscuit: Yeah, that was after a six day bender and I was in no shape to present at the Source Awards.

    Alex:Ummmm… Okay then

  14. #14
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    Alex: Says here you're a planner from Albany, NY. I think we all know where Albany is, but what is a "planner" exactally?

    GeogPlanner: Are you sh!tt!ing me? I mean "What is are you sh!tt!ing me?"
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  15. #15
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Alex: What are your hobbies?

    Me: Well, strangling animals, golf and masturbating.




    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Plus Salmissra's avatar
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    Why are we all using Alex? What about Pat from Wheel of Fortune?

    Pat: So you're here from Houston.
    Me: yes, and I brought my lazy good for nothing husband and our six screaming brats with me for luck.

    Then, at the end, after winning the bonus round:

    Pat: This must be your husband
    Me: Yes
    Pat: And where are your kids?
    Me: Evidently, security threw them out during the show. Do we have to take them back, or can we leave them out in the alley?
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    "Hi, Alex, I'm a divorced mom of one who played the drums for 15 years, flew sailplanes, and drives up to 4 hours to meet people I only know online."

  18. #18
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    "...[snip]..., and drives up to 4 hours to meet people I only know online."
    It took you 4 hours to get to Tallahassee? Holy sh1t. I have a new and greater appreciation for my welcome.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    It took you 4 hours to get to Tallahassee? Holy sh1t. I have a new and greater appreciation for my welcome.
    We might have made it in 3.5 but I made SC stop a lot for Diet Dews and pit stops...
    See, we goddesses need appreciation!

  20. #20
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    We might have made it in 3.5 but I made SC stop a lot for Diet Dews and pit stops...
    See, we goddesses need appreciation!
    Dews...right. You sure it wasn't the 1.5 liters (litres) of chardonnay? Wow, way off topic here. Sorr
    BOT :

    Q: 2 zoing godesses having a good time on the weekend.

    A: What does 2, 1.5 liters (litres) of chardonnry mean on a road trip?

  21. #21
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    Dews...right. You sure it wasn't the 1.5 liters (litres) of chardonnay? Wow, way off topic here. Sorr
    BOT : 2 zoing godess having a good time on the weekend.

    A: What does 2, 1.5 liters (litres) of chardonnry mean on a road trip?
    Off-topic:
    Odd "encounters" with strangers at rest stops?
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

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