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Thread: You know you are a zoning administrator when...

  1. #1
    Cyburbian munibulldog's avatar
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    You know you are a zoning administrator when...

    You look way back in your top left drawer to find something and all you come up with are a couple dozen red pens.

  2. #2
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by munibulldog
    You look way back in your top left drawer to find something and all you come up with are a couple dozen red pens.
    here are some earlier suggestions from before you came on board
    www.cyburbia.org/forums/showthread.php?t=12842
    I'm sure we can add to the list, though...how about
    you know you've been a z.a. too long
    - when you question if your dog's house meets required setbacks
    - when you KNOW that the words following "I don't want to complain or cause anyone any trouble but....." will most certainly be a complaint with the intent of causing someone trouble.
    - when you name your children after residential developments
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  3. #3
    Maister: you have a child named Pasma?
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  4. #4
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker
    Maister: you have a child named Pasma?
    No, but I have a daughter named 'Whispering Brooke'
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  5. #5
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    when you use the term "nonconforming" out side of work.

    when you point out violations in other communities when you are on vacation.

    when for first reaction is to lie when someone asks you what you do.

    when you walk into a bar and see other planners there trying to figure out exactly how much beer is in a pitcher! (and they accidentally spill it all over the place)

    when you come back from inspections wondering why it is that cops get a gun and you don’t.

    when you open your closet and there is nothing but blue shirts and Khakis.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    when you come back from inspections wondering why it is that cops get a gun and you don’t.
    I like that one....
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  7. #7
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    when you walk into a bar and see other planners there trying to figure out exactly how much beer is in a pitcher! (and they accidentally spill it all over the place)
    I wasn't trying to figure out how much was in it. OK? and for the record YOURE the one who's the blue shirt!!!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  8. #8
         
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    you know you are a z.a when you go on vacation and come back with only pictures of signage in other communities

  9. #9
    BANNED
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    When you ask the 7 year old kid if they have a building permit, street occupancy permit, permits from health department, and business license to run the lemonade stand.

    Those pesky treehouses which exceed the height limit for detached accessory building.

  10. #10
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Jaxspra
    you know you are a z.a when you go on vacation and come back with only pictures of signage in other communities
    been there... but I was taking pictures of buildings, too.

    "when you point out violations on your iwn, newly built city hall"....

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  11. #11
    Cyburbian munibulldog's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    here are some earlier suggestions from before you came on board
    I posted this just after wrapping the red pens in a rubber band. I never did find the #$%^ staple remover.

    By the way, Sault Ste Marie has the worlds worst designed McD parking lot. I would have never approved it.

  12. #12
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by munibulldog
    By the way, Sault Ste Marie has the worlds worst designed McD parking lot. I would have never approved it.
    You know you're a z.a. when your review of a restaurant focuses on issues such as parking, occupancy, emergency access or anything else having nothing to do with the food or service!
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  13. #13
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by munibulldog

    By the way, Sault Ste Marie has the worlds worst designed McD parking lot. I would have never approved it.
    I agree for McDonalds, but it could be worse. You should see our Taco Bell Parking lot! I wonder how it is that people don't get into accidents.

    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    I wasn't trying to figure out how much was in it. OK? and for the record YOURE the one who's the blue shirt!!!
    Why did you dump it out then? And yes, I am in uniform today.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Only if....

    Quote Originally posted by acchhhoooo
    When you ask the 7 year old kid if they have a building permit, street occupancy permit, permits from health department, and business license to run the lemonade stand.

    Those pesky treehouses which exceed the height limit for detached accessory building.
    This one only applies in Florida
    Skilled Adoxographer

  15. #15
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by The One
    This one only applies in Florida
    Better have a wind resistence of 140 miles per hour.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    You know that having adult ADD is not a bad thing. If fact, you realize it should be part of the job description. Multi-tasking is for amateurs!

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