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Thread: Embarrassing drunk tales

  1. #1
         
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    Embarrassing drunk tales

    Ok, for those of you that can remember something embarrassing you have done while intoxicated ( or have been told you did) please post here. Had a rough evening last night and we all know misery loves company...so lets hear the stories.....

  2. #2
    Cyburbian GISgal's avatar
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    how about stories of others. i have a co-worker who several years ago gave another co-worker's husband a hickey. at this year's x-mas party she bit him.

    she showed up at her husband's x-mas party and said she wanted to have sex with his boss.

    her husband's a saint.
    I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. - Thomas Edison

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    At a "pit party" (further explanation beyond the scope of this reply), I threw a sheet of plywood onto a bonfire and jumped on it and pretended to surf. I fell off the plywood and caught myself with my left forearm. My forearm had burning embers on it for a split second after which I quickly brushed them off. I felt that for quite awhile. That same night my friend got his car stuck in a sandy ditch (it took us 2 hours to get him out) and my brother went into a field to relieve himself and never reappeared. The next morning he finally turned up covered in cow dung, he passed out in the field and managed to crawl 5 miles home.

    Oh, yeah.... also that same night the hottest redhead I have ever personally known was hitting on me (or so I was told by my friends), but I was playing it sooooo cool that I appeared uninterested. Sometime you can be too sauve.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  4. #4

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    Well, there was the time I thought my feet were on fire, and I called 911 for assistance.

    But wait, that wasn't alcohol.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    My only really bad story was my first experience with heavy drinking. I was 17 and it was in University. We had a progressive party, and by the fifth dorm room I was totally trashed. I ran to go puke in the girls' bathroom but all of my dorm mates were shoving me toward the boys' bathroom to pay them back for trashing our bathroom all the time. I made it as far as the showers and ended up puking all over and then passing out on the floor. I woke up a few hours later to the sound of water as some of the guys were showering in the stall next to where I passed out. Unfortuantely I didn't see any of the goods because I was too mortified and ended up slinking back to my room.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    In college, several of us guys were drinking and being loud in a dorm room. When the staff told us for a third time to knock it off, we decided to head off to another building to continue our work. Along the way, one of my friends disappeared. The police returned him to us about 6:00 the next morning. With the weather in the teens, he had wandered a mile and a half across cornfields, without a jacket, to an apartment complex where a friend lived. He had been randomly banging on doors when the police found him. He had no idea how his face had gotten so bloodied and bruised.

    As for me, one night I enjoyed a couple beers, a half bottle of wine, half a bottle of vodka, and a couple pints of orange juice. Later, I am told I swam down the hallway and engaged one of the hall staff in a debate about his supervisory abilities. On another occassion when we were making too much noise he entered the room, saw us three guys and four women mostly naked, and simply gave up.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  7. #7
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    I once did a Joey Chitwood imitation that I do not recall, but friends (co-Conspiritors) have told me about. That was the first and last time I was blitzed behind the wheel.
    Last edited by el Guapo; 14 Nov 2007 at 11:19 PM.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Most of mine relate to drinking bad combos of beer and hard liquor and either puking in inappropriate locations or saying inappropriate things to people and hurting their feelings. Honest, it sounded funny in my head.

    These situations are not limited to university or being a teen.

    Have I put enough sheepish looks in this post?
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    In the colege town that Cardinal used to work for, I had a few, the best are in and after college when my BIL was in school at card's city:

    In my college town
    1) The underage BIL comes to Oshkosh to visit the sister of his that I am dating. 30 minutes to bar time we're low on cash and the nearest ATM is the student union [who remembres the days before bars had ATMs?]. A quick / not so quick when being tailed by the police run, and we get some cash, on the run back I say "Hey I know a short cut through those bushes!!" As we jump though the bushes - me first - I realize we are not where I think we are and the other side is a recessed loading dock. I grab the rail. 2 steps behind me and in a full out run, he hits me and knocks me over ther rail on to the concrete pavement below. Now he's hanging on the rail by one hand...slowly... slowly.. losing his grip.... and landing his 210 pound linebacker arse squarely on top of my ankles and feet, breaking several toes. We still stayed out till after bar time. Didnt feel it till the next day..

    in Cardinal's college town a few moths later
    2) After bar time, peeing in a commercial doorway downtown, then staggering to the historic fountain in front of his office for an early morning backstroke (it had pricker bushes around it at the time to discourage exactly that), then a three block walking barf back to his apartment.

    3)At his graduation pit party [which you get the gist of from Budgie ], playing darts with some jerk roomie of his and throwing a (metal tipped) dart into his chest cuz he p*ssed me off. Hours later the police and fire dept were called to the pit party, just as the BIL's future in laws were pulling up with a trailer full of "real" wood (couches are toxic. who knew?). I have never been more sun burned and heat burned from fire proximity at the same time in my life

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Thw worst night was in high school, out to a football game with my 2 best friends. We had been drinking and dropped some Quaaludes and one of my friends fell thru the bleachers to the ground. We retrieved her and headed for McDonald's where I parked her in the ladies' room and went to order some food. It took a heck of a lot of concentration to stand in line and order and then I went back to the car, whereupon friend #3 asked where in the heck the other one was. So I went back into McD's and found her in the sink in the ladies room.

    Then one night in college, my best friend and I got totally blitzed at a party and both had to get sick when we got back to my place, so I ran inside and locked her out, and she had to be sick in the bushes outside. She still reminds me of that...

  11. #11
    Cyburbian iamme's avatar
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    My friend tried to jump over a parking meter while drunk.

    He got about half-way over but...

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Rumpy Tunanator's avatar
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    No crazy stories here. Come to think of it, I don't drink that much.

    Seriously though, you guys should all consider joining "AA". You may have a drinking problem.





















    A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner."


    Neil McCauley (Robert DeNiro): Heat 1995

  13. #13
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    One of the Bosses at my last job (the one boss that truly knew what he was doing and did a good job) invited me over for a party at his house. There was a bunch of people there, and his wife kept making me colorful mixed drinks... and more mixed drinks, and more mixed drinks, and well yea. At one point I stood up, excused my self, walked down from the porch (it was an out side party), walked around the corner, stepped behind a shrub, and got sick.

    Then just as if nothing happened, came back to the party, and changed to soda for the rest of the night.

    Then there was going out drinking with a few fellow planners with only a single veggie dog in my stomach... (Enough said)

    There have been a few others as well but I will save those for another time.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian clare2582's avatar
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    It was more of a reoccuring embarassing drunk moment. I am pretty quiet and reserved with a hint of spazziness, but when I get drinking, I become Ms. Chattypants-life-of-the-party.
    My sophomore year of college, I used to go out, get lit, and come home and run around my dorm topless. It all started one Halloween when i flashed a car full of guys. It was evidently very exhillarating, and I continued to do it... its wasn't embarassing until I looked back at it.... what was I thinking?

    Of course, theres the puking.
    I was out with a friend, and she agreed to drive, which give me the license to drink myself silly. There was a band playing that I loved, and I proceeded to dance and "talk to" (read: heckle) the lead singer from the floor.
    I was talking to her very cute tall friend and hanging on him all night. Then we went outside for a smoke, and I immediately felt woosy. I continued to hold it down, until I suddenly PROJECTILE VOMITED- in front of the bar, on the street where every bar is located, in a college town (directly adjacent to my home town), swarming with people. I was embarassed, but moreover I was so embarassed for her....we were trying to be so cool, and I screwed it up!!! Needless to say, I stay away from that bar, trying to not be recognized as the puker, or run into that guy.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    I love BiteMeElmo when he's drunk (most of the time). He's one of those really happy drunks who talks quite a bit louder than he realizes. There have been a few little social gatherings where he has 'whispered' to me something in confidence about someone else at the table, when in reality he was talking quite loud (and the person he was talking about could hear him). I still giggle about a few of those odd moments. Also, when drunk I have to be ready for him to talk back to (or sing along loudly with) whatever terrible house band is playing at the bar we're in. Often these songs are from the Maritimes and I don't know them, which makes it extra funny to me.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by nerudite
    Also, when drunk I have to be ready for him to talk back to (or sing along loudly with) whatever terrible house band is playing at the bar we're in. Often these songs are from the Maritimes and I don't know them, which makes it extra funny to me.
    Or be ready for when he shouts "SOCIABLE"
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  17. #17

    Ceramic alter of punk

    My worst was in the fraternaty house one nite we started dringking rum and coke, drink hafe a coke then fill it with rum. I worshiped before the white ceramic alter of punkdom that nite and ended up sleeping right there with cold ceramic toilet bowl for a pillow.

    I still don't drink rum.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Sounds like you....

    Quote Originally posted by Cardinal
    In college, several of us guys were drinking and being loud in a dorm room. When the staff told us for a third time to knock it off, we decided to head off to another building to continue our work. Along the way, one of my friends disappeared. The police returned him to us about 6:00 the next morning. With the weather in the teens, he had wandered a mile and a half across cornfields, without a jacket, to an apartment complex where a friend lived. He had been randomly banging on doors when the police found him. He had no idea how his face had gotten so bloodied and bruised.

    As for me, one night I enjoyed a couple beers, a half bottle of wine, half a bottle of vodka, and a couple pints of orange juice. Later, I am told I swam down the hallway and engaged one of the hall staff in a debate about his supervisory abilities. On another occassion when we were making too much noise he entered the room, saw us three guys and four women mostly naked, and simply gave up.
    Spent your time in Kittredge Hall on CU's campus in the 60's......GOD the stories that have been told (to others).....
    "The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
    John Kenneth Galbraith

  19. #19

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    There was the night before my graduation from college. I got absolutely ripped with several friends. We got some bolt cutters, stole several bikes, and coasted with no hands down a steep hill on campus at 3am.

    It's a wonder no one got hit by a car that night. It's a wonder none of us ended up in jail that night. And it's the last illegal act I've done in my life. I think...

  20. #20
    Cyburbian yaff's avatar
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    Right after final exams my first year of law school. Went out with my b.f. at the time and a group of friends to celebrate a mutual friend's birthday. I downed a big "fishbowl" rapidly and "impressed" everyone. A short while later, someone noted to me that I was "looking awfully pale". I made a run for the bathroom at the bar and nearly made it into the stall. Some embarassing incidents in your past you just don't want to recall. I am very careful with mixed drinks now and never have more than 2 in an evening because I am of quite small stature.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian
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    maybe I'm lucky.. maybe I'm boring... but I have no (gross at least) drunk tales to tell... besides getting sleepy and "low FPS mode" (Slow motion for the non-gaming people), alchohol doesn't do much to me.. I usually stop when I get sleepy.

    Now... the only time I ended up in the bathroom after drinking beer, was one time I ate an aparently bad sandwich with the beer... hence the results... It's not fun to wake up in the middle of the night to run to the bathroom to puke... After that.. I couldn't drink beer without having a disgusting feeling for like a month

  22. #22
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by clare2582
    ...[snip]...My sophomore year of college, I used to go out, get lit, and come home and run around my dorm topless....[snip]....
    I remain a skeptic. Any pics to prove this?

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Breed's avatar
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    My best drinking story...

    I was in my second semester at Virginia Tech, I went out drinking with some friends (tequila and coke is my drink of choice). We were heavily inebriated. As a ritual, whenever we would go out drinking, we would steal stuff from restaurants... (we had menus, salt and pepper shakers, beer mugs, even a chair). Well, this evening we were ended up at Taco Bell. A friend dared me to take a tray. Travesty would ensue if I rejected the mission. I determined I was up to the task. On the way out of the restaurant, I grabbed a stack of Taco Bell trays and bolted out of the doork.

    While running out of Taco Bell, I slowed to a stroll... very inconspicuous... well, as inconspicous as you can look with a stack of ten trays stuff in your shirt. Off in the distance, I saw a police car. To my inebriated mind, I assumed Taco Bell had called the police. I took off running, trays in tow, leaving my friends behind. I darted around a nearby building... as I came around the other side, I saw another police car... I tossed the contraband trays, turned off down a back alley and into a residential neighborhood. I distinctly remember thinking, "The police would never shoot me in a residential neighborhood." I crawled into doghouse in someone's back yard. Fortunately, there was no dog, although there was a very comfortable dog bed. After waiting a few minutes, I decided the police had given up the chase. (In reality, there was no chase... just chance police cars driving in the distance.) I ventured back out to the street. My friends had disappeared, so I headed back to my dorm.

    On my way back to my dorm, I realized that I had left the trays behind, but I didn't want to venture alone. So I stopped by my future brother-in-law's dorm... he was enjoying his own level of insobriety. I asked him if he was interested in a quest. What drunk man can resist the temptation of a free Taco Bell tray? The quest to recover the trays had begun. We ventured back to Taco Bell and traced my steps back. Even saw the doghouse... which now housed a very large doberman. eek. Anyways... we eventually walked back up the alley and around the adjacent building to find the trays. We found them... they were neatly leaned against the wall of a church... under a 30 foot stained glass Jesus. I had ditched the trays in the front garden of one of the main churches in Blacksburg, Virginia. I think Jesus may have been trying to tell me something... but I just wanted my damned trays.
    Every time I look at a Yankees hat I see a swastika tilted just a little off kilter.
    Bill "Spaceman" Lee

  24. #24

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    Well, my workplace in high school was a weird mix of Evangelicals and Party Animals. The Party Animals decided that I would be their target to be corrupted. So, I did get pretty blitzed at a party.

    The only real funny part of it was when my boss, an older gentleman who was "looking out for me" turned to a fellow employee and told him to "take him (me) home). Fred turned and looked at our boss, and toppled forward onto his face. Ouch!

    Not really a big drinker any more. I have other addictions I am very sensitive to alcohol, so a coupel of glasses of wine makes me light headed. I can't even really wine taste very easily.

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