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Thread: The Hijacked Favorite Billboards Thread (AKA relationship advice from Planners)

  1. #51
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    El Guapo on Love.

    Seeing as this post has been hijacked all the way to Yemen and back, here goes...Enjoy those 21 year olds Dammit. They will keep your memories warm into old age. They will provide you with countless hours of quality daydreaming material when you join the Viagra generation like Giff and I. If you are spending much time in that kind of relationship talking you have got it all wrong Carpe Hottie (Seize the Babe!)

    When I was living in hellish Southwest Kansas, a good portion of my former bachelorhood, I traveled to a college town regularly and visited my friends there. Thus, I was able to meet a plethora of educated lasses in a casual environment. I found a wonderful woman and so will you!

    We are all with you Prudence! Now go get yourself a woman!

    Should I write an advice column Dan? Kind of a Perry's corner for lovelorne planners?

  2. #52
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Moderator hat on....

    The hijack is now it's own thread.

    Carry on.

    Moderator hat off...
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  3. #53
    maudit anglais
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    I second El Guapo's thoughts on 21 year-old women. My fiancee is 21.

    I'm 29 - soon to be 30.

    Don't start on the age difference thing.

  4. #54
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    And thanks for the help Tranplanner but i already tried dating in Orlando

    I did not like how flat it was, how nuts it is to drive on I drive or the number of rednecks. There seem to be no educated folks for miles *sorry Dan did not know you were there when i was visiting a year ago*

    But hey for a couple tickets into Disney...jk
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  5. #55
          Downtown's avatar
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    I go home for the night.... server down this morning, and look at all I missed. Ok, here are my contributions:

    1. I agree that some menfolk do like the bold womenfolk. My husband sounds a lot like Dan - social, but a little on the shy side. Rob and I knew each other from school, but that was about it - casual acquaintence until the fateful night when we happened to be in the same bar where I drunkenly molested him, giving him the courage to call me two days later and ask me out.

    2. I see no problem with a 10 year age difference. However, Prudence is right - he's not going to have much in common with the average 21 year old - BUT when you do find the right gal that you have lots in common with, who cares if she's 21 or 41? Just so long as she's legal!

    3. I just thank God everyday that when I was in the "swinging singles scene" it was still appropriate to go out in ripped jeans, tee shirt and flannel instead of the Spice Girl look women seem to be sporting these days.

    4. And its always feast or famine, Prudence. Chris Rock did a very funny bit on why women want married men - its because single men can't take care of themselves - they eat like crap, their hair is always all mussy, they forget to shave. Once their wives start dressing them, making them shave and generally clean their men up - that's when other women come running.

  6. #56
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Originally posted by prudence

    Lately though, I seem to attract women who are 21-ish. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am now 30. I may look a few years younger, but I am 30. What in the hell am I going to talk about with a woman who is 21?
    Talk? You are supposed to talk to women?! Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all these years! Hmmm....

    Seriously, women do seem to like to talk a lot more than us "grunters," but I have often found myself easily carrying on conversations with youger women. Of course, topics like work or music don't usually work out.

    If the 21-ish women are a problem, send them my way. Now I'm off to visit El Guapo's recommended web site....

  7. #57
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Additional Advice:

    It took me a while to figure this one out, but it appears that when a woman is going on and on about something you are supposed to sit there and listen and offer no advice. Nope, don't do it, don't offer to kill the offender for her or have a word with the rude store clerk, don't offer to solve the problem in any way, even if she asks you to. You just sit there and comfor her. Don't even glance at the TV or mention that you are in the last 15 minutes of "A bridge too far." Just suck it up.

  8. #58
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    I used to live near SW Kansas...

    Originally posted by El Guapo
    When I was living in hellish Southwest Kansas, a good portion of my former bachelorhood, I traveled to a college town regularly and visited my friends there. Thus, I was able to meet a plethora of educated lasses in a casual environment.
    ...and I could SWEAR I used to see this billboard.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  9. #59
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    Re: Additional Advice:

    Originally posted by El Guapo
    Don't even glance at the TV
    Oh yeah, it may be the Simpsons, it may even be John Wayne, but don't even think of it.

  10. #60
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    Re: Re: Additional Advice:

    Originally posted by Michael Stumpf


    Oh yeah, it may be the Simpsons, it may even be John Wayne, but don't even think of it.
    But what if it's Monday Night Football, and your favorite team is playing? It's a whole new strategy then.

    First, position her so you can hug and kiss her head, and sneak a one-eyed glance over top of her and see the set. Second, and this is the MOST important part... don't squeeze harder if your team fumbles, and no extra kisses for a touchdown! She can hear the announcers, and KNOWS what's up. Lastly, just let the beer get warm. Try and reach for it with a free hand and you're dead. That why they sell them six at a time...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  11. #61
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Originally posted by KMateja


    2. I see no problem with a 10 year age difference. However, Prudence is right - he's not going to have much in common with the average 21 year old - BUT when you do find the right gal that you have lots in common with, who cares if she's 21 or 41? Just so long as she's legal!

    Ok, I am an expert on this one. My wife is 17 years younger than me. The thing was that were were friends first and because, of her childhood, her personality was like someone much older. It was one of those things that just developed so, it has not been a problem. (besides I refuse to act older than 30 so she is about to catch up to me)

    And like EG it took a while to figure out this listening and not giving advice ect. thing. Take the short cut and do what the Great El Guapo suggests.....

  12. #62
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Originally posted by giff57

    Ok, I am an expert on this one. My wife is 17 years younger than me.
    I thought you said your wife turned out to be a lesbian?

  13. #63
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Originally posted by bturk


    I thought you said your wife turned out to be a lesbian?
    That could be good or bad, really...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  14. #64
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Originally posted by bturk


    I thought you said your wife turned out to be a lesbian?
    No, that was my EX wife.

    Originally posted by Mastiff


    That could be good or bad, really...
    Problem was that the truth didn't come out till we were divorced for a while. Being homosexual in a town of 300 in the middle of Iowa can be a problem.
    Last edited by NHPlanner; 27 Oct 2005 at 2:37 PM.

  15. #65
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    The PhotoShop Weekly Winner is...

    mastiff, for excellent work with a hijacked thread.


  16. #66
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Originally posted by giff57


    Problem was that the truth didn't come out till we were divorced for a while. Being homosexual in a town of 300 in the middle of Iowa can be a problem.
    Yep, you said a mouthful... small mid-western towns and alternative lifestyles don't mix real well. And I was implying that perhaps a bi-sexual wife wouldn't be bad.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  17. #67
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Additional Advice:

    Originally posted by Mastiff
    She can hear the announcers, and KNOWS what's up.
    Closed Captioning has solved this problem. Turn the TV off and act as if you are paying attention. Then, turn it back on when her back is turned towards the set and quickly mute it. Then switch on the CC. God Bless the Hearing Impared for bringing this to all the married men. With practice you will be able to do this by touch alone. Once again the thanks go out to another of God's select for the braile bumps on the remote keys.; The blind.

  18. #68
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Re: The PhotoShop Weekly Winner is...

    Originally posted by El Guapo
    mastiff, for excellent work with a hijacked thread.
    *bow*

    And be glad I couldn't find that Amigos quote about Carmen "opening up like a flower" or how it goes...
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  19. #69
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    I am learning so many new techniques. Thanks, guys.

  20. #70
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Additional Advice:

    Originally posted by El Guapo


    Closed Captioning has solved this problem. Turn the TV off and act as if you are paying attention. Then, turn it back on when her back is turned towards the set and quickly mute it. Then switch on the CC. God Bless the Hearing Impared for bringing this to all the married men. With practice you will be able to do this by touch alone. Once again the thanks go out to another of God's select for the braile bumps on the remote keys.; The blind.
    Still... You squeeze real hard at the wrong time, you're toast.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  21. #71
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Additional Advice:

    Originally posted by El Guapo


    Turn the TV off and act as if you are paying attention. Then, turn it back on when her back is turned towards the set and quickly mute it.
    First you would have to replace all of the light bulbs with 200 watt ones so the additional light from he screen wouldn't be noticed.

  22. #72
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Ok what about advice for us sort of...outgoing women? sugestions for us?
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  23. #73
    maudit anglais
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    Originally posted by PlannerGirl
    Ok what about advice for us sort of...outgoing women? sugestions for us?
    Don't change. Eventually you'll find a guy who digs that - and it'll all click into place.

    Hey - it happened to me. When my fiancee lined me up and took a run at me, I didn't stand a chance.


















    And I loved every minute of it

  24. #74
          Downtown's avatar
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    PlannerGirl - my advice to you is the same as Tran's - keep doing what you're doing and keep putting yourself out there. As long as you're still meeting men, and making yourself available, eventually the right one, who is wild about you and your dogs, will stick.

    One of my sister's friends is 25, lives at home with her mom, is a complete social recluse, complains constantly about how she's getting older and isn't married. How does she expect to find Mr. Right if she never leaves the house?

  25. #75
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    I know that sig line!

    Bill Murray, as the clown robbing the bank in Quick Change.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

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