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Thread: Pregnancy changes (permanent)

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Pregnancy changes (permanent)

    Mski's and I have been suffering under our supervisor more and more of late. Thing is, I remember she wasn't always like this. Seems she was much 'nicer' before she had kids. It's almost like she has undergone a personality transformation the last couple years. I was telling my wife about it and she said that's not at all unusual and many women undergo physical AND mental/emotional changes (maybe hormonally driven) after pregnancy. Her friend, for instance, used to love pizza but after pregnancy she couldn't stand it and still can't stand it (her kid is 4 now). This same friend also seems much more 'intense' after childbirth. Anyone observe this?

    Why couldn't Bosslady undergo a positive emotional transformation instead?
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    My wife couldn't stand any meat after the first....started to love meat (like never before after the second...and now with the thrid she has a distaste for fish.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  3. #3
    (for now) Frozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Women are just crazy, in general, anyway....pregnant or not.

    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  4. #4
          Downtown's avatar
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    Honestly - It probably isn't the horomones that are making her less nice - it's the lack of sleep. Once you're done being pregnant and nursing, your horomones go back to normal, but it takes a while for sleeping to get back to where it was.

    My son didn't start sleeping through the night (we're talking 8pm to 5am) until he was 9 months old. I didn't start feeling "back to normal" until he was about 11 months, and then I got pregnant again 2 months later.

    I think this is just one of those things that you can never truly understand until (or if ever) you have kids of your own.

    AND I don't want to start a big war here, but I will say that the majority of my girlfriends with children have wonderful husbands, but the menfolk, generally are not TRULY pulling 50% of the child-raising weight (and I'm talking about after the kids are weaned - its really not a fair comparison up until that point) - and that is a lot of added stress for a lot of women.

    I'm not saying that people with kids should be cut any slack in the workplace over singletons and dinks, but I'm just trying to offer an explanation.

  5. #5
         
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    Quote Originally posted by Downtown
    Honestly - It probably isn't the horomones that are making her less nice - it's the lack of sleep. Once you're done being pregnant and nursing, your horomones go back to normal, but it takes a while for sleeping to get back to where it was.

    My son didn't start sleeping through the night (we're talking 8pm to 5am) until he was 9 months old. I didn't start feeling "back to normal" until he was about 11 months, and then I got pregnant again 2 months later.

    I think this is just one of those things that you can never truly understand until (or if ever) you have kids of your own.

    AND I don't want to start a big war here, but I will say that the majority of my girlfriends with children have wonderful husbands, but the menfolk, generally are not TRULY pulling 50% of the child-raising weight (and I'm talking about after the kids are weaned - its really not a fair comparison up until that point) - and that is a lot of added stress for a lot of women.

    I'm not saying that people with kids should be cut any slack in the workplace over singletons and dinks, but I'm just trying to offer an explanation.
    Agree 100%, women are tired and stressed after having kids especially going back to work. Personally I enjoy being at work it is the only break I get from the boys that I do not feel guilty about. I don't know if it is hormonal or environmental, my boss (male) has changed a lot after having 2 (and one on the way) children, I don't think it is less nice or more nice, just different than before.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Anyone know of ways to reverse these changes?
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. Time makes more converts than reason." - Thomas Paine Common Sense.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Anyone know of ways to reverse these changes?
    Divorce
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  8. #8
         
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    Quote Originally posted by GeogPlanner
    Divorce
    Doesnt reverse the personality...only your having to deal with it

  9. #9
    Quote Originally posted by Downtown
    <snip> AND I don't want to start a big war here, but I will say that the majority of my girlfriends with children have wonderful husbands, but the menfolk, generally are not TRULY pulling 50% of the child-raising weight (and I'm talking about after the kids are weaned - its really not a fair comparison up until that point) - and that is a lot of added stress for a lot of women.<snip>
    Ahem. Wake, feed, change, dress, daycare, work, daycare, play, feed, change, bath, pjs, read, bed. Repeat. Repeat. But if I ever forgot to do a load of laundry all I heard was "You're not pulling your weight". Phooey.
    Je suis Charlie

  10. #10
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker
    Ahem. Wake, feed, change, dress, daycare, work, daycare, play, feed, change, bath, pjs, read, bed. Repeat. Repeat. But if I ever forgot to do a load of laundry all I heard was "You're not pulling your weight". Phooey.
    you forgot the mandatory everyday events of "clean up broken ________" "time out in the corner" "Extract ______ from hand/hair/oriface"
    Also, since Mrs. B is at home.. the whole change into clothes part can be foregone when she doesn't need to go anywhere. Footy PJ's work well during the day in the winter as well as the night!

    I feel bad for Mrs. B right now, she's at home.. sick with a 3-week old nurser and a "terrible two"-year old girl.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Snarf.....he he he....

    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    Mski's and I have been suffering under our supervisor more and more of late. Thing is, I remember she wasn't always like this. Seems she was much 'nicer' before she had kids. It's almost like she has undergone a personality transformation the last couple years. I was telling my wife about it and she said that's not at all unusual and many women undergo physical AND mental/emotional changes (maybe hormonally driven) after pregnancy. Her friend, for instance, used to love pizza but after pregnancy she couldn't stand it and still can't stand it (her kid is 4 now). This same friend also seems much more 'intense' after childbirth. Anyone observe this?

    Why couldn't Bosslady undergo a positive emotional transformation instead?
    Thank goodness my wife went the other direction, after each of the (now 3) kids, she is nicer and more pleasant to deal with on a daily basis....
    I think it is because she is too worn out to argue much about silly things.....picks her batles now.....
    Skilled Adoxographer
    I have two emotions....Silence and Rage

  12. #12
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by GeogPlanner
    Divorce
    It is my supervior...
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. Time makes more converts than reason." - Thomas Paine Common Sense.

  13. #13
          Downtown's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker
    Ahem. Wake, feed, change, dress, daycare, work, daycare, play, feed, change, bath, pjs, read, bed. Repeat. Repeat. But if I ever forgot to do a load of laundry all I heard was "You're not pulling your weight". Phooey.
    I know, I know. And my husband is really one of the few that really does pull his weight (and then some - now that i'm pregnant again and sidelined with being sick). El Guapo is another example of an amazing father who had to deal with pulling much more than his own 50%.

    I'm just saying that for the vast majority of women that I know, they are responsible for well more than half of child and household duties, on top of holding down a full time job.

    And I totally agree with the One. I also had a significant Mellowing with Motherhood. I just didn't have energy to get worked up about things anymore.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally posted by Downtown
    <snip>I'm just saying that for the vast majority of women that I know, they are responsible for well more than half of child and household duties, on top of holding down a full time job.<snip>
    I probably over-reacted in my post, but when the kids were<1 and 3, Mrs G was travelling quite a bit and it all fell on me. It's still a little bit of a sore spot that I don't dare reveal to her. Water under the bridge, you know?

    I know plenty of fathers that have perfected the art of avoiding diaper duty. So I agree that a lot more women get saddled with the lion's share of child-care than do men. Just a little vent from one who upheld that responsibility and still does.
    Je suis Charlie

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Trail Nazi's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Downtown
    And I totally agree with the One. I also had a significant Mellowing with Motherhood. I just didn't have energy to get worked up about things anymore.
    I concur with both The One and Downtown. I have definitely mellowed after having a child and I really don't care about a majority of the things that would have made me *spin* with aggression. I must say that having a fulltime job and being a parent is not so easy especially if you are not getting much support. Maybe you guys should advise her to take a holiday.

    There was an argument that I once heard a long time ago: Those that are ***ches at work do not have control at home so they must take control somewhere and those that are nice at work have a fair amount of control at home. Who knows if it is really true, but that what I try to take into consideration when I meet someone who is a little too aggressive for my liking.

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