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Thread: Wedding Horror Stories

  1. #1
    maudit anglais
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    Wedding Horror Stories

    As requested by bturk...

    I'm getting hitched at the end of August, so all you out there who've been there/done that and gotten the t-shirt, as well as those of you who've had the pleasure of experiencing one of those "wedding moments" - see if you can put a scare into me!

    My fav - though it's probably an urban legent.

    The Groom gets up to make his speech - at the end he instructs all the guests to reach under their chairs and pull out the envelope attached there. Inside is a picture of the best man and the bride in a compromising position. Turning to the bride he utters a nice "F**k you", then turning to the best man he says another "F**k you", then walks out.

    The only reason he went through with the ceremony was that the bride's parents were picking up the whole tab...

  2. #2
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    My own horror story

    At our rehearsal, one bridesmaid was VERY late. We finally got a hysterical call that she had been in a bad car accident. She missed the rehearsal, and the rehearsal dinner, arriving very late that Friday night. She was in a neck brace, bruised, on pain pills, not a happy woman. She insisted on being a part of the ceremony so we gave her the rehearsal crash course. She did the entire wedding and reception without a neck brace on. She did manage to mix her pain pills with a few too many Kahlua Mudslides, and after about 20 minutes of nastiness, we managed to get her back to her hotel room. Uggg. My bride and I retired late in the night, only to be interupted by a 4:00am phone call from guess who? You got it. We had no idea how they tracked us down since it was an anonymous hotel registration to avoid the pranks of my groomsmen. When we realized it was her on the phone were expecting a half-drunken apology. Instead, we were informed that her twin brother had been shot and killed in a bar fight in their home town.

    We never did get anniversary cards from her...

  4. #4
          Downtown's avatar
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    That's a pretty good one, bturk!

    My sister in law got so drunk at our wedding, she threw up all over the reception hall's picturesque gazebo, and Rob had to fireman carry her home. I've never seen anyone vomit that much. The hall's staff was waiting, with a 5 gallon bucket of hot water and soap, for her to vacate her spot in the gazebo.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Tom R's avatar
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    weddings

    I was an usher in a memorable reception. The bride's brother and father got durnk and into a fist fight. The kid knocked the old man flat. Most every one else continued the party.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    ...and my runner up [drum roll]

    My bestfriend since second grade was engaged to a young lass that no one could stand. Yet, out of devoted friendship we all agreed to stand up in the wedding. Side note: He converted to Catholicism for her. The wedding party included 2 agnostocs, 2 wiccans, a lutheran and a jew. I had to stand up with Gwenyth Paltrow as she appeared in 'Shallow Hal'. Not the petite Rosemary, the "real" Rosemary.

    The wedding itself was uneventful. The reception was even more uneventful. All of the groomsmen and bridesmaids spent the evening smoking in the parking lot, avoiding the social dysfunction going on in the Hall. We were occassionally summoned to do the ritual dances (chicken), etc. It only could have been worse if it was DRY!

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Well my wedding was a night mare *just like the marriage* but to give you just a taste

    Groom Marine sniper from NY
    best man Navy seal
    Bride sorority girl
    Maid of honor air force officer
    bridesmaids sorority girls/models
    mother of the bride baptist from Alabama


    throw in some jar heads that showed up drunk to an invite only event, one drunk groom, lost wedding ring and a few men in kilts...

    VERY bad day-minster spent most the time in hiding.

    Plannergirl
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  8. #8
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    My sister's wedding.

    The hired bartender was truly named Rodney King (this was two years after the LA Riots) and he decided to steal most of the liquor during the reception. We caught him loading it in his car on his "union mandated break." Well, that was what booze he didn't consume himself during the evening.

    He eventually got so drunk he hit on my Grandmother (40 year age difference). Then he decided to dance with all the older ladies for about an hour. Yes, our $15.00 an hour bartender spent most of the evening hitting on old widow women.

    After the wedding we rolled him and took the left over liquor back.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    My first wedding

    We took baby cloths, diapers and supplies on the honeymoon because we were cutting it that close.

    My second (LAST) wedding; Bliss and truly wonderful!

  10. #10
    Moving at my own pace....... Planderella's avatar
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    A Planning/Wedding Story

    Two of my good friends just recently married. I met the groom at the San Diego APA conference when he was still married to his first wife. The following year, I met his future bride when she moved to New Orleans for grad school. I introduced the two of them at the Boston APA conference. Fast forward a couple of years and a divorce later, the two of them had a chance meeting and were reaquainted at a regional (Georgia/South Carolina) APA conference and were dating by the time the New York conference rolled around. At the 2001 New Orleans conference, he proposed to her in Jackson Square. They got married during Memorial Day weekend - just a few weeks past the Chicago conference.

    Just in case you haven't figured it out: He's a planner, She's a planner and 2/3 of the wedding party consisted of planners - two bridesmaids (her buddies from grad school, myself included) and two groomsmen (his buddies from grad school).

    The wedding was held in the bride's hometown - Hilton Head, S.C. Since everyone was coming from out of town, all of the events took place from that weekend with the wedding held on that Sunday. A groomsman, flying in from California, was on a plane that had to make an emergency landing in Jackson, MS because it lost cabin pressure. He and his wife passed on the chance to take another flight and drove from there to S.C.

    The groom, driving in from Tenn, that Friday was involved in a minor accident on the highway as the truck in front of him lost a tire that eventually landed on the hood of his car. He wasn't hurt but had to drive the rest of the way in his beat-up car.

    The day of the wedding, one of the bride's cousins and her husband, driving in from Georgia, were involved in a car accident on the way to the wedding. Only their infant survived.
    No one told the bride until the following day. Talk about a memorable wedding experience over Memorial Day weekend.

  11. #11
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    Well there was the time I married a real bitch that turned out to be a lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that).... Oh you mean the ceremony......

    There was the time when we stole the bride and took her to several bars, the last won we attended she was so wasted that she ended up laying on the bar while we poured shots ot tequillia down her. Then she noticed the county sheriff and his wife having dinner and sat in his lap and carried on. He told us guys we had 5 minutes to return her to the reception or we would all be arrested.

    Upon arriving at the reception we discovered that the groom was stolen as well and was arrested for public intox. and needed bailed out.

    The two families began a feud that only ended with the couples divorce....

  12. #12
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    This weekend...

    I was very well behaved at my wedding last month...but not so good on Saturday.

    My wife's cousing got married on Saturday, and my wife was a bridesmaid. I was hanging out during the reception with others from my new family, and was peeved about how much the drinks were costing. Well, the waitresses soon brought out bottles of wine for each table, a nice chardonnay and merlot. I hate wine, but in lieu of the prices of the drinks at the bar...I started pounding back wine.

    I didn't make it to the main course of the meal. Apprarently I passed out and vomited all over the mens room, and was discovered there about 15 minutes after I passed out. I was transported back to the hotel by my wife's uncle, and apparently vomited all over his truck as well.

    I woke up Sunday morning, in bed by myself, my wife in the other bed, and my clothes in a heap on the floor. I still don't have all the details of what happened...though fortunately I didn't disrupt the reception since my antics were confined to the restroom. :x
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  13. #13
          Downtown's avatar
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    It just so crazy that weddings just inspire such craziness. Well, I guess it isn't the wedding, but the open bar that instigates all the trouble.

    My husband's groomsmen had been drinking all afternoon before the wedding, and drank three cases of beer on the 20 minute drive from the house to the church. and there were only 4 of them drinking. I wasn't mad until they started stealing from the church's lost and found box and started wearing the biggest old lady linda richman-esqe glasses.

    At one of my college roommates' wedding, the groom's friend was the photographer - flying in from seattle to Syracuse. The bride gave her not very bright friend, shelley, the task of picking Alex, the photographer up, and the bride gave shelley a big sign saying "Phil McCracken", which was a joke between Alex and the groom. Well, the photographer never got off the plane, and Shelley, not realizing it was a joke, and thought she really was there to pick up a "Phil", had "Phil McCracken" paged over the airport loudspeakers. Turns out alex missed his flight, and got in about 45 minutes before the wedding started.

  14. #14
    maudit anglais
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    I dunno...I've never been to a wedding where anything truly bad/tragic/funny as happened. I'm starting to wonder if it's all being saved up for my wedding. I'm already picturing my new father-in-laws speech...

    I figure things wil turn out fine though - there will only be a couple of planners at the big event.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian jmf's avatar
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    Originally posted by KMateja
    It just so crazy that weddings just inspire such craziness. Well, I guess it isn't the wedding, but the open bar that instigates all the trouble.
    My parents were at a wedding and the reception was a large hotel. There were several wedding receptions that evening but the one my parents went to was the only one with an open bar. Needless to say word got around and soon guests from other weddings were getting their drinks at the open bar. Glad I didn't have to pay for that one!

  16. #16
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    My wedding was fine... It was the twelve following years of living in hell that bothered me.

    Of course, I have two fine sons to show for it. I'd surely do it again to have them around.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
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    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    Married to the Mob

    I have a first cousin that married into a mob family. That was about 10 years ago, and his Italian wife sure does wear the pants in the family! The wedding reception was glitzy, and I managed to get my mom and dad really drunk, which was great since my dad never drinks. There were 3 older men - obviously familioso and "connected" - sitting in a corner at the reception (backs to the wall of course!). I was debating with mom as to whether or not they were packing heat. After a $5 bet, mom went up to them one by one, **big pat down hug** and said "welcome to the family!" The results were inconclusive, but It did get her very nervous. Later, after consuming many more fermented malt beverages, I told my mom and dad ALL of the things I did in high school that they never knew about. They thought is was pretty funny.

    FAST FORWARD FIVE YEARS, as I've just graduated college, another cousin gets married, and at the reception table I tell mom and dad all of the things I did in college that they never knew about [like almost being expelled a few weeks before graduation]. The statute of limitations had NOT expired. Mom was pissed off for weeks!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian yaff's avatar
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    I got married last year on labor day weekend. My in-laws, from North Carolina, decided to host a barbeque with bluegrass music for our rehearsal dinner. Unfortunately, the catering truck got lost and no food showed up until nearly 10:00. We had snacks on the tables and wound up with several children throwing up peanuts. Fortunately, we had some munchies and and a selection of beverages and the band was good so things didn't turn out too bad. The dads were on their way out to pick up pizzas when the food finally showed up. When the food got there it was good and everyone had a good appetite. The rest of the wedding festivities all went off smoothly but it seems like at least one thing MUST go wrong to make the event human and memorable.
    P.S. transplanner, after one year, I highly recommend the institution you are about to enter. Good luck in August.

  19. #19
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    I was with my ex for 5 years, engaged for 3 1/2 of those, meant to get married this Feb, but I called it off 8 weeks before in December. I'm still trying to sell my wedding dress, which I never wore...
    Last edited by JNL; 15 Jul 2002 at 6:55 PM.

  20. #20
          Downtown's avatar
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    JNL - one of my college friends just unloaded her never been worn dress on ebay and didn't get too hosed. good luck!

  21. #21
    Cyburbian GeogPlanner's avatar
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    i'm still trying to sell the engagement ring i got back...
    Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law) - Fyfe's First Law of Revision

    We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans. -- George W. Bush , Scranton, PA -- 09/06/2000

  22. #22
    maudit anglais
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    Hmmm....

    I wonder...

    JNL has a spare wedding dress...

    GeogPlanner has an extra engagement ring...

    JNL has already indicated an interest in GeogPlanner's marital status elsewhere in the Forums...

    Could we have a match here?

  23. #23
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    LOL! I've still got unused invitations and envelopes...

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Plus PlannerGirl's avatar
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    Hey you can use the guy that was gonna make the food for my wedding. Heck Ill throw in the guy I was to marry as a pillow for kneeling on the alter for free!
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin

    Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO- HOO what a ride!'"

  25. #25
    maudit anglais
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    Originally posted by PlannerGirl
    Hey you can use the guy that was gonna make the food for my wedding. Heck Ill throw in the guy I was to marry as a pillow for kneeling on the alter for free!
    How many times have you been married/been close to marrying?!

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