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Thread: How to deal with the worst boss ever?

  1. #1

    How to deal with the worst boss ever?

    I would love to hear stories, advice, etc. about how to deal with crappy bosses. Any strategies out there for making a stand without losing your job and/or reputation?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    I've worked for a couple of screamers; they threw tantrums and one cussed and kicked furniture. I finally learned to just keep a neutral expression, stare them down, and not say a word until they realized they were looking like idiots and calmed down.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian Greenescapist's avatar
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    Whenever I had a bad boss, which was rare, I just tried to stay out of their way not be social with them unless something concerned work. If you're mostly serious and business-like with him/her, maybe he/she will get the hint that you're just there for work, etc. If the person is abusive or it affects your work, talk to HR, they are supposed to be confidential and might be able to give you tips on how to handle things. You might be surpised that you're not the first to complain about this person.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Just get out it is not worth it.

    They are not going to change and believe me, you are in a no win situation. Even if you try to protect your job and or reputation, people and potential employers will listen to what they want to hear.

    Life is too short, allow me to repeat myself.

    LIFE is too Short
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  5. #5
         
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    I agree with Queen B, GET OUT. Two bosses I had at my last job were part of the reason I left.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    I agree with "get out". I've had a really bad one and was told to "cut him some slack".
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen B
    They are not going to change and believe me, you are in a no win situation.
    People do change...




    ...but most of them do so slooowly, reluctantly, and fighting it tooth and nail. If it isn't your spouse, lover, best friend, etc. and you aren't on some crusade to save their soul, um, yeah, there is probably no real profit in investing that kind of time and energy.

    That said, while you are there: do all you can to not take it personally. When you get home from work, do what you can to ditch the day's emotional baggage. Although I don't advocate any one particular religion or philosophy, I highly recommend the spiritual cleansing that prayer, meditation, et al are intended to perform. ("breathe sweeps mind" and all that) Keep a journal -- maybe even a dream journal where you keep a tablet and pen on your nightstand and record your dreams when you first wake up. Figure out any personal issues you have that this person is managing to use as a Hot Button to get at you and deal with your own cr@p as a means to remove the Hot Button so they have nothing to grab.

    What I find in life is that if I can genuinely Let It Go and come to each new interaction with this person with NO preconceived notions about how they will act and refrain from doing anything to trap them in acting that way forever just because they did so for the first year or so that I knew them, that gives them more maneuvering room to change and start treating me more in accordance with who I really am rather than in accordance with their emotional baggage concerning what they think everyone in the world is like. People who are like rabid dogs about something (and most folks are like that on SOME topic or other) usually have been seriously burned on that topic and kicked while they are down. If you refrain from kicking back while letting them know they need to keep their feet off you, sometimes they learn something from the experience and it unties a knot in their personality and they are forever better for having known you. And if they continue to act like psychos, you at least have no guilt over anything you did. The High Road usually has a better view and the air is cleaner up there.

  8. #8
    It is good to know that people have had similar experiences. In my case, my boss is extremely incompetent, and most days this gets in the way of me being productive. It is unfortunate as this is really my first job and first experience working with a professional planner, but I'm quitting in two months anyway to go to grad school and become a planner myself. Since I'm relatively young, I'll probably be dealing with some form of boss for a few more years--I just hope that not all planner bosses out there are so ridiculous!

  9. #9
    maudit anglais
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    Quote Originally posted by City-zen
    It is good to know that people have had similar experiences. In my case, my boss is extremely incompetent, and most days this gets in the way of me being productive. It is unfortunate as this is really my first job and first experience working with a professional planner, but I'm quitting in two months anyway to go to grad school and become a planner myself. Since I'm relatively young, I'll probably be dealing with some form of boss for a few more years--I just hope that not all planner bosses out there are so ridiculous!
    It could be worse...you could be working for an engineer

    (sorry engineers)

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by City-zen
    It is good to know that people have had similar experiences. In my case, my boss is extremely incompetent, and most days this gets in the way of me being productive.
    I think we might work together. Congrats on going back to school though, hopefully when you get out you'll secure a great job with an even better boss.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by City-zen
    In my case, my boss is extremely incompetent, and most days this gets in the way of me being productive.
    In that case: do your best to be sneakily effective and fly under the radar as much as possible. Try to avoid tangling with the individual because he* has the power to impose his ineffective methodologies on you and/or actively sabotage you out of jealousy/fear/whatever but may well be happy to let you accomplish things if you don't give him any clue HOW you manage to be effective and let him live under the delusion that it is "luck", don't give him any reason to feel threatened by your competence, and just don't let him get his hooks into the situation as much as possible.



    *Although I don't think you have said whether your boss is male or female, I am using "he/him" for simplicity: English doesn't really have any gender neutral terminology which isn't either out of date or extremely awkward. If the boss is female, no offense intended to anyone. Most bosses do happen to be male.

  12. #12
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
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    Escape

    Find a new job...no matter how long it takes. I've left more jobs because of bad office politics than any other reason.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  13. #13
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Tranplanner
    It could be worse...you could be working for an engineer

    (sorry engineers)
    Engineers are easy to work for. All you have to do is trick them into thinking it was all their idea

  14. #14
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by sisterceleste
    Find a new job...no matter how long it takes. I've left more jobs because of bad office politics than any other reason.

    Yep. I can deal with the rest of the world... as long as I know my boss and co-workers have my back.


    Off topic:

    Oh, some guy went into my boss' office yesterday and proclaimed that my wife, who recently got a new job, didn't deserve it. And the only reason his wife didn't get it was because I worked at the City. It's very lucky for him I haven't yet seen him. I can shrug off people talking about me, but talk **** about my family, and you're going to get an ass kicking.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    C'mon and get me you twist of fate
    I'm standing right here Mr. Destiny
    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
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    I say leave. Find work elsewhere.

    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    ....stare them down....
    Hehehehe....(smilie faces aren't working...but there's one here, I promise!!)
    Annoyingly insensitive

  16. #16
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    The only way for you to win against a boss is to leave.

    If you cant leave, then you must take what is given.

    Sad, but true.
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  17. #17
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by savemattoon
    Engineers are easy to work for. All you have to do is trick them into thinking it was all their idea
    Sad, but true...feed their egos. Remember they are task oriented so just look busy.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Floridays's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen B
    Just get out it is not worth it.They are not going to change and believe me, you are in a no win situation. Even if you try to protect your job and or reputation, people and potential employers will listen to what they want to hear. Life is too short, allow me to repeat myself. LIFE is too Short
    Couldn't have said it better myself! I had the boss from hell for about a year. Note that I have always had decent supervisors. He was an egomaniac with adult ADD (my own diagnosis!). When he reviewed our work he would run around the office yelling and cussing his "disapproval."

    I was constantly stressed to the point that I got a script for antidepressents and dreaded going to work.

    When my contract came up for renewal, I said no thanks and got the heck outta Dodge. Best thing I ever did!

    HOWEVER, I did not criticize him or my job during my"exit interview." Keep it cool so you can keep a reference!


    Check out http://www.toxicboss.com.
    Perhaps some good advice could be found there.
    There are others like it. Google for "toxic boss."
    Last edited by Tranplanner; 28 Jun 2005 at 8:35 AM. Reason: double reply

  19. #19
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I've had a few bosses from hell, and they've pretty much pushed me out/made me leave all of teh jobs.

    the list

    1) After workign as a student for 5 years att eh same place, my grandmother dies and I get flack for wanting to take a few days off to spend with the family. Quit shortly after that and for the fact that I was being paid less than new employees as I was only a student, even though I was responsible for them.

    2) Little man complex. my first ral job. I worked for a short dumpy guy, not much older than me and he could not take it that i would get asked teh questions and respect of a room. Worked there for almsot 2 years before his planning ideas and attittude made me move

    3) Last job - the messiah - we will save rural ontario and only I can lead you to that salvation. Combine that with some of the worst written planning documents and I had to leave.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    I had one who was the sceming, back-stabbing manipulator sort. He had too large of an ego. If he thought it, then it must be right and anyone who disagreed was wrong and subject to ridicule. I often stood up to him, which really p*ssed him off. In the end he was fired and I left about six months later.
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  21. #21

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    I had an absolutely awful boss a couple years ago. He had an amazing ego and thought he couldn't be questioned because he had thirty-plus years experience in planning. He had a habit of particularly ridiculing his administrative staff, often driving them to tears; when he wasn't doing that, he was commenting on their "assets". He slammed doors. He changed office policy with the wind. He fired an employee who suffered from depression because he said she was "crazy" and couldn't "hack it mentally", and called me a "f**king incompetent moron".

    I quit abruptly from there, just two weeks prior to my wedding day. And it was the best thing I've done in my career. My advice to anyone facing similar treatment -- GET OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!!!

  22. #22
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    How did I deal with the worst boss ever? Well, let just say it involved a blunt instrument, a shovel, and an abandoned section of Forest Service road.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  23. #23
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Most people are not born great bosses and I find 'bossing' for the most part to be a learned skill. Some people, however, Truly Suck in the Boss department and will never be willing/able to put forth the effort to become decent bosses much less bearable to deal with. Therefore, I have to echo what I'm hearing everyone else saying - get out as soon as practical. In the meantime protect yourself the best you can by providing as little exposure to this individual as possible.

    I have only had two instances where I had REALLY bad bosses. Both have been in the civilian sector. I have had the hardest time adjusting to the fact that one's bosses/coworkers are not willing to fall on that grenade for each other or look out for each others welfare and have been backstabbed at least once by each bad boss.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Habanero's avatar
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    I've got one now who expects me to be "on call" during my FMLA leave as "I know my cases better than any other person on staff". I guess reading the cases is too much to ask. I think I might be changing my number my first day off.
    When Jesus said "love your enemies", he probably didn't mean kill them.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Habanero
    I've got one now who expects me to be "on call" during my FMLA leave as "I know my cases better than any other person on staff". I guess reading the cases is too much to ask. I think I might be changing my number my first day off.
    That's bad. We had a planner out for 6 weeks last summer and no matter what, we all had to pitch in and look everything up if something of his was inquired about, also we each were distributed his projects already in process to finish for him.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

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