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Thread: Planners versus architects ... IN THE OCTAGON!

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    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Planners versus architects ... IN THE OCTAGON!

    In an all-out, no-holds barred (but weapon-free) fight between a gang of 100 planners and 100 architects, who would win?

  2. #2
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    Planners, because they'd consider the whole community and not just the one, individual architect that they're trying to smack down.

    PS: This is going to become a post-pad fest faster than you can say "minimum post size."

  3. #3
    It would never come to a fight: either the wimpy architects would see the folly and run, or we planners would build consensus against it.

    Of course, if Budgie, Rumpy eG and RJ are on our side, there'd be architect butt strewn all over the place
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

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    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by jordanb
    PS: This is going to become a post-pad fest faster than you can say "minimum post size."
    I'm gonna' wanan' see reasons why one group would be victoriious over the others, though. One-word answers ... nope.

  5. #5

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    Architects would easily win, because the Architect team would covert their black wire rim eyeglasses into weapons. Plus, the Architects hermetic compounds of group think would form impregnable bastions of architectural theory force fields. Remember-the Borg were almost unstoppable in Star Trek

    The Planners' weapons of zoning codes are powerful, but easily defeated by the architects' defense mechanisms of withering scorn, which would demolish the "bourgeoise" values of the planners.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian boiker's avatar
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    Architects would spend time devising new and innovative ways to engage in battle. This will end up taking much more time and costing much more than they originally expected. Of course cost overruns will limit the true number of architects that could battle unless extra funding was supplied.

    Planners would organize and spend up to 2 years perfecting their battle plan. The plan is largely dependent on the will of those planners to implement it, so obviously there will be a lot of heart, and not as much committment. I expect heavy losses on both sides as the new battle methods devised by the architects will be considered "ugly, disgusting and completely unlike any battle before". The planners will effectivly "bulldoze" many architects, and the plans will be unwaivering.

    Ultimately, the planners will win because we all know that without planning, architecture would just be the manifistation of egos and really contribute nothing to the goals of the whole.
    Dude, I'm cheesing so hard right now.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian prana's avatar
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    I'm bigger than almost every architect that I know...so it would be the planners of course!

    and boiker has it right...the architects would spend way too much devising new battle implements that may not work and then that would surely cause factions within the architect's side anyway.

  8. #8
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    nothing would happen.....because everyone knows it's the politicians that actually do the damage.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    Let's not be didactic in this profession, because that is a path to disillusion and irrelevancy.

    Six seasons and a movie!

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    We'll have the element of surprise when we swarm from our desk forts and slap them silly with our comp plans.

  10. #10
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Planners

    Of course planners would win. The public participation process has taught us how to fight dirty
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  11. #11
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    I think the planners would win. Architects are incredibly egotistical and would likely not want to work together to defeat the 100 planners. Planners on the other hand, often work with other planners and can often come to a consensus.

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    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    My sense is there are proportionately more womyn in planning than in architecture. If the same proportion were part of the 100, the planners would win. Womyn are nasty fighters…kicking, scratching, beoytch slapping, spitting, cussing…not a pretty sight.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Wannaplan?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mendelman
    nothing would happen.....because everyone knows it's the politicians that actually do the damage.
    DING! DING! DING! Yep, this is the best answer so far! It's got my vote.

    Off-topic:
    What I really want to see is a fight between 100 architects and 100 engineers. Now these folks have real animosity toward each other, a real grudge-fest! Talk about mixing oil with water.

  14. #14
    Corn Burning Fool giff57's avatar
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    The Planners would win because they would hire 100 conslutants to help.
    “As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of the citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far from its fall”
    Jean-Jacques Rousseau

  15. #15
    Architects would kickass...

    In cahoots with developers, they'd defend the rear flanks with their urban planning sector creating a maze of one way streets redirecting and confusing the enemy... treat their wounded by designing cutting-edge medical facilties with their healthcare sector... the environmental graphics division would begin a massive propoganda campaign of cleverly design propoganda signage.... and should all else fail, the retail-entertainment sector will redesign the battlefield into one giant lifestyle-center called Shoppingtown.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    Planners-we're more battle hardened from dealing with citizens, lawyers, politicians, realtors, and developers. Plus, most of us started out in planner boot camp-code enforcement. The Marines ain't got nothing on us.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

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    I gotta go with the architects, mostly because the planners would be too busy trying to build consensus on the method of attack.

    But don't discount the backstabbing by the architects, which might be the planner's saving grace. There will be at least a dozen egomaniacal architects who will be the target of envy from the other architects, and the envious architects will initiate some serious infighting. If the planners can exploit that weakness -- in sufficient time -- they can pull it off.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Top 10 reasons Planners will win:

    10) We have practice fighting about politics, we can take on anyone!
    9) Two words... El Guapo!
    8) Planners will see to it that the property gets re-zoned for “recreation use only”
    7) Can you say From Based Codes?
    6) Much like engineers, the architects would be measuring the angles in the room
    5) The planners would create instantaneous unity by tossing Andres Dawney into the middle of the room to beat his ‘New Urbanist’ A$$
    4) When was the last time you saw a bunch of architects at a leafest?
    3) The architects would not be able to read their attack plans because it looks like kindergartner got a hold of the crayons.
    2) The architects will get scared mid way through the site plan review

    and the number one reason that planners would win the fight.

    We told Stan that the Architects drank all the coffee!
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  19. #19
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    The Planners would win because the APA's worship of Red China would finally pay off as the 1.2 billion Chinese would come to our aide and crush the capitalist pig architects!!!
    Last edited by Suburb Repairman; 10 Aug 2005 at 5:12 PM.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  20. #20
    Cyburbian
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    Planner would win because they'd re-zone the A-1 plots Architects use for growing weed and then teh architects will lose their "inspiration" and die. Also Planners will exclude artsy fartsy stores and Starbucks so there will be no place for architects.

    A good fight would be geographers against........ themselves...

  21. #21
    Cyburbian boilerplater's avatar
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    The landscape architects and engineers would notice the fight and seize the opportunity to take control. They re-route a river and the entire battlefield is turned into the slough of despond. The architects and planners all die slow deaths mired in the muck. But once the landscape architects and engineers realize they have to work together, their ideological differences rise up again. Its logic vs. passion, libido vs. credo, rationalism vs.romaticism. This fight continues for years while buildings crumble and local economies decline. Gradually places become unlivable. Then some of them decide to go back to school to become planners and architects.
    Adrift in a sea of beige

  22. #22
    Cyburbian H's avatar
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    Planners, because the architects would be too distracted admiring their self-praising monuments.
    "Those who plan do better than those who do not plan, even though they rarely stick to their plan." - Winston Churchill

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Before the battle would even begin the Planners would lose half their members, because they "had to work the front desk" on battle day. The remaining Planners would loudly proclaim, "Let's do an Octagon Laefest!", and those that imbibe would head on down the road, on bicycles of course, to the local bar.

    The remaining three (3) Planners would prepare for the battle.
    _____

    About half of the Architects would get lost in submitting numerous proposals and never make it to The Octagon. The remaining Architects would prepare for the battle.
    _____

    A sharp Planner (of the remaining "Fighting Planners") would sneak into the Architect's Glass Box Skyscraper and re-name the 12th floor elevator sign "13". Upon seeing this the Architects would die of heart attacks.
    _____

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  24. #24
    Cyburbian abrowne's avatar
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    Draw: Architects would get weak-kneed after realizing they'd been an hour without a super mocaha frappa crappa latte gooper thinger from Starbucks, and the Planners would run off for a laefest after realizing they were sober.

    Afterwords, reports would be written and sent to committee.

  25. #25
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by abrowne
    and the Planners would run off for a laefest after realizing they were sober.
    Ding, ding, I like this one!!!

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