An Onion article just for us planners!

[Dan]

Yes, oh yes ... the fine folks at The Onion, America's Finest News Source, MUST have been visiting this site. I haven't even read the full article yet, and already I'm laughing!



A couple of quotes:

Though the amulet had long been dismissed as urban legend, a mythical ideal of zoning perfection handed down from city planner to city planner, LaMere became convinced that not only was it real, but that it had been used to lay out the cities of Ur, Atlantis, and Inver Grove Heights, MN.

[snip]

Now, with a wave of his mighty amulet, Councilman LaMere can designate matter-of-right medium-density development, with limited offices for non-profit organizations, trade associations, and professionals permitted as a special exception requiring approval of the RCZA.

Someone was doing their homework!

[Suburb Repairman]

Mmmmmm... that's good planner satire...

[donk]

and none of us thought of this for our "magic" deck.

[Trail Nazi]

An amulet, how interesting. The Magic 8 ball and Magic Yoda always worked well for me in my planning decisions. That was the trick that ZG taught me.

[jenniplans]

I've always rubbed the bald spot of a co-worker to bring my section luck. So far, so good.

[Rumpy Tunanator]

Nice article. Hopefully Roachfester, I mean Crotchfester, I mean Rochester will use the device wisely.

[el Guapo]

I believe we have a mole. Who here has told the outside world of our tools?

[Dan]

I believe we have a mole. Who here has told the outside world of our tools?

You mean this one?



Wish we had a Magic Zoning Amulet, but unfortunately it's not in this year's budget.

The image does look familiar, though ...it reminds me of this, from our Magic the Gathering Photoshop contest ...

[Urban Adventure]

Can't believe people buy this!! I thought we are out of the Dark Ages already!

[Michele Zone]

Can't believe people buy this!! I thought we are out of the Dark Ages already!

Don't be silly. No one BUYS magical amulets. You have to go on a Quest to get something like that.

[SGB]

Can't believe people buy this!! I thought we are out of the Dark Ages already!

Satire, as described by Wikipedia.

[JNA]

Don't be silly. No one BUYS magical amulets. You have to go on a Quest to get something like that.

MZ - mentioning a "Quest" might lead to MP Holy Grail quotes.

[Michele Zone]

MZ - mentioning a "Quest" might lead to MP Holy Grail quotes.

My life has been stressful the last few days. I would welcome the silliness.

[mendelman]

MZ - mentioning a "Quest" might lead to MP Holy Grail quotes.

stop groveling...I hate it when people grovel...and stop averting your eyes.....

Have I mentioned I adore The Onion?

Comedic satire is one of the best human inventions...right behind the Pocket Fisherman.

[Suburb Repairman]

stop groveling...I hate it when people grovel...and stop averting your eyes.....

Have I mentioned I adore The Onion?

Comedic satire is one of the best human inventions...right behind the Pocket Fisherman.

"help! help! I'm being repressed!!" said the citizens blinded by the light of the almighty zoning amulet!

[Tom R]

I'm not sure its ADA and FOIA compliant.

[Gedunker]

This is a dead parrott.

Sadly, I know of several local councilors that would readily partake in the Quest

[otterpop]

Read it last night. What a hoot!

[SGB]

I believe we have a mole. Who here has told the outside world of our tools?

I always figured Rumpy moonit as a bartender. Now I'm not so sure.....

[Budgie]

WHOA, at first I thought it read, "Magical Zoning Mullet".

[RandomPlanner]

WHOA, at first I thought it read, "Magical Zoning Mullet".

Now THAT would be a much easier quest to find !!

[Memphis]

The Onion is truly genius sometimes (most times). I can just see the staff sitting around brainstorming the stories (insert drinking or toking sounds here). I wonder who they consult for their planning humor; someone had to have some zoning experience. Perhaps the next issue will feature the superhero "Neo-Traditional Man" who brings utopia to the unfulfilled and car bound suburban masses. Maybe the members of this board could start a satirical planning news/faq/best practices type site?

[michaelskis]

Dang... I was looking forward to joining the Dark Side to manipulate the process for the benefit of my own bank account. With this new toy, they will be able to block any mind control powers I have.

Oh well, there is still professional knitting.

[Zoning Goddess]

An amulet, how interesting. The Magic 8 ball and Magic Yoda always worked well for me in my planning decisions. That was the trick that ZG taught me.

You and RJ, always giving away my secrets (sigh)...

[Trail Nazi]

You and RJ, always giving away my secrets (sigh)...

Tis the reason you are a Goddess!