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Thread: Oil Humor... hah!

  1. #1
    Cyburbian jread's avatar
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    Oil Humor... hah!

    A lot of folks can't understand why we have an oil shortage here in our country. Well there is a very simple answer:

    Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.

    The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas and Pennsylvania.




    Our dipsticks are located in Washington DC.





    Badump-Chhhhhh

  2. #2
    Cyburbian dobopoq's avatar
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    Ahem! Yes indeed, this is what we need. There's nothing like a bit of levity, as a way of penetrating into the triviality submerged noggens of the average American, the importance of a subject like peak oil. And "check the oil", is even family-friendly as opposed to the sexual euphemism of "oil change".

    [insert, squeaky 1950's style voice]
    "Golly jee willikers, we forgot to check the oil".
    "You don't say."
    "That's right, peak oil's coming, and this cadillac is going to be getting awfully thirsty."
    "The current American way of life is founded not just on motor transportation but on the religion of the motorcar, and the sacrifices that people are prepared to make for this religion stand outside the realm of rational criticism." -Lewis Mumford

  3. #3
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Ahhhh you’re funny

    It is more like the “Environmental Left” is so against particular things (like oil refineries) that they made it tremendously difficult for new ones to be built.

    Just about every one of them is older than I am, and where producing at 95% capacity. (They don’t go 100% for safety reasons)

    The liberal left can’t have their cake and eat it too.
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

  4. #4
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Ahhhh you’re funny

    It is more like the “Environmental Left” is so against particular things (like oil refineries) that they made it tremendously difficult for new ones to be built.

    Just about every one of them is older than I am, and where producing at 95% capacity. (They don’t go 100% for safety reasons)

    The liberal left can’t have their cake and eat it too.
    Off-topic:
    Is it possible to develop a sense of humor and take this thread for what it is? A bit of levity in a tough time. Not everything has to come back to politics....


    Thanks for the joke jread....made for a good laugh to start the morning.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  5. #5
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by NHPlanner
    Off-topic:
    Is it possible to develop a sense of humor and take this thread for what it is? A bit of levity in a tough time. Not everything has to come back to politics....


    Thanks for the joke jread....made for a good laugh to start the morning.
    You’re right. I apologize. I guess it was kind of funny.
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian boilerplater's avatar
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    Yesterday the local paper ran a cartoon on the editorial page depicting some exhausted, sad-looking people climbing out of debris-strewn waters. In the forground is a man looking at the price on a gas pump with a shocked expression on his face saying "Oh my Gawd!!"

    I can't decide if its bad taste or sad. Maybe its worth a little "humpph".
    Adrift in a sea of beige

  7. #7
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    It's also times like this when, on practically every message board, someone will inevitably drag out some tired old Photoshopped image of a gas station sign with the prices reading "ARM" and "LEG".

    Heh. It was only funny the first 30 times I saw it.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    It's also times like this when, on practically every message board, someone will inevitably drag out some tired old Photoshopped image of a gas station sign with the prices reading "ARM" and "LEG".

    Heh. It was only funny the first 30 times I saw it.
    Maybe the photos should be updated... If it was an arm and a leg when it was $2.19 a gallon would be “Your Head” or “Your Soul” now that it has toped $3.00?
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

  9. #9
    don't forget the new and improved 133t version of that sign

    Click image for larger version

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  10. #10
    Cyburbian dobopoq's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    Ahhhh you’re funny

    It is more like the “Environmental Left” is so against particular things (like oil refineries) that they made it tremendously difficult for new ones to be built.

    Just about every one of them is older than I am, and where producing at 95% capacity. (They don’t go 100% for safety reasons)

    The liberal left can’t have their cake and eat it too.
    Off topic: The time frame for an adequate return on investment for an oil refinery is probably several decades. Given that U.S. oil extraction had already peaked in the early 70's, it become apparent to the oil industry some time ago that they are in a sunset industry. That's the bottom line on why U.S. refining capacity has not grown in 3 decades. There may be higher health standards for a new refinery here than in other countries, but oil companies aren't investing much into new refining capacity in these lower-standard countries either, because once again, they are aware that there is no long term future in the oil industry. The rate of world oil consumption has surpassed the rate of new discoveries since 1985. At the same time, demand has kept going up. The oil industry wants to keep us hooked as long as possible, until every drop has been pumped - that's why they haven't been publicizing the finite nature of oil, because then people might start seeking alternatives and the industry would lose business while still having some "product" left in the ground. But at the same time, they are aware that peak oil is near enough, that it would be imprudent to increase capacity for a product that will soon pass into the arc of depletion.

    But seriousness aside, we really could use more humor in discussion of the subject. Sadly, that is not my forte. We could use a peak oil jingle. Something tongue-in-cheek with a catchy melody would be nice.

    I recently heard their are some gas pumps in rural Oregon that can't show prices at $3.00 and above. They got permission to sell it by the half gallon. "Wow, gas is only $1.55 here!" And probably sometime next decade, station signs might start to need a tens digit.
    "The current American way of life is founded not just on motor transportation but on the religion of the motorcar, and the sacrifices that people are prepared to make for this religion stand outside the realm of rational criticism." -Lewis Mumford

  11. #11
    I'm on the "liberal left" and I'm not upset about the high gas prices... maybe its the conservative right that has a problem.

  12. #12
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    hey, we need some levity around here with all of the bad news we are seeing. I've been laughing at the news every night when they show the 40-something lawyer in his suit & tie at the gas pump complaining about putting $120 worth of gas in his Hummer H1 or whatever.

    I just wish people would stop making such a big deal about the gas prices. All of these people talking about shopping around for the best deal and saving like 3 cents a gallon after searching for 20 minutes. It might save you 1 dollar at the pump.

    I really think we need to look at the intent of this thread: it was to bring some humor to the current situation. Perhaps rather than making this thread political, we should continue with the intent and share any funny jokes or stories having to do with the gas prices or media coverage. Besides, the punchline makes more fun of all politicians in Washington rather than placing blame. Thoughts?

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman
    I really think we need to look at the intent of this thread: it was to bring some humor to the current situation. Perhaps rather than making this thread political, we should continue with the intent and share any funny jokes or stories having to do with the gas prices or media coverage. Besides, the punchline makes more fun of all politicians in Washington rather than placing blame. Thoughts?
    When I saw this, I kind of figured that one of the mods would stick it into the "neverending joke" thread. I, personally, would appreciate it if folks could allow a few nice threads to escape the general negative mood permeating so much of this forum. I would "go first" by contributing a joke, but I so suck at telling jokes. If my only career options were bank robber or comedienne, I would have to rob banks to avoid starving. At least failure there means life-time security of a roof over my head and 3 icky meals a day.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian iamme's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman
    I really think we need to look at the intent of this thread: it was to bring some humor to the current situation. Perhaps rather than making this thread political, we should continue with the intent and share any funny jokes or stories having to do with the gas prices or media coverage.
    Last weekend when I went to my family reunion, I was talking with my dad about gas and he suggested that I could get a few more MPG if I take off my bike rack. I agreed but said "why bother, I haven't driven in two weeks." I suppose this is the closest thing to a funny anecdote about gas that I can muster...

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