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Thread: Name that subdivision

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    The Cheese State
    Posts
    9,978

    Name that subdivision

    If only developers would put as much imagination into a subdivision's design as they do into its name.... "Park Forest Hills" is invariably a flat and treeless former cornfield a half mile from the nearest park. "Cambridge Estates" will be a collection of identical, vinyl-clad, garage dominated, earth-toned houses without the slightest English influence. Blooming Meadows? Oak Ridge? Park Place? You get the picture -- boring, bland, beige.... In a fit of contempt and alliteration I offer the following names:

    Taupe Towne
    Homogenized Hills
    Vinyl Village
    Plastic Palisades
    Abominable Acres

    How do you refer to our tasteless development patterns?

  2. #2

    Name that subdivision...

    How about:
    Treeless Forest
    Cowpasture Village
    Tasteless Estates

    and for old-hippies-turned-yuppies:
    Imagine No Imagination City

  3. #3

    Name that subdivision...

    How about this: The Village of Forest Lakes, which is an actual subdivision of pop-and-fresh garages (with houses attached) where they tore down most of the trees for a man- made lake. It's not really a village because zoning probits corner stores, apartments, small houses, detached garages, alleys, bike lanes, and anything else you can think of that make a well planned community. Everything in this place is fake, save the bug-guts on the licence plates of the three SUVs in each driveway.

    Here are some other subdivision names sure to attract yuppies in droves:

    Chip Shot Commons
    Five Iron Farms
    Putter Place

    Cappuccino Court
    Expresso Estates

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 1998
    Location
    NOLA
    Posts
    4,468

    Name that subdivision...

    How about Gated Green Gables (for the gullible and gutless)

  5. #5
         
    Registered
    Feb 2002
    Location
    BC, Canada
    Posts
    33

    Name that subdivision...

    Pine Village,
    Pine Court,
    Pine Street,
    Pine Road,
    Pine Crescent;
    Country Pine Court,
    Country Pine Street,
    Country Pine Cresent,
    Neighbourhood of Country Pines ...
    and I'm not kidding.

  6. #6
    Member Planter's avatar
    Registered
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Boise, Idaho
    Posts
    9

    Name that subdivision...

    I'm especially happy to see that the name game is now being applied to shopping centers as well, with the same dichotomies of name versus reality. Our latest is the mega-big box, 20-acre treeless parking lot, make sure your children are roped together as you sprint across the drive aisles, suburban nightmare; called most appropriately, "The Family Center."

  7. #7

    Subdivisions

    The irony is that they name subdivisions after whatever they ripped down, burned, buried, and destroyed. I.e. Our wonderful field of chestnuts was bulldozed to make way for Chestnut Hills Subdivision. A lovely treeless set of lots.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
    Registered
    Dec 1998
    Location
    NOLA
    Posts
    4,468

    Name that subdivision...

    Now THAT'S ridiculous!!!!!

  9. #9

    Name that subdivision...

    Phoenix Arizona and its suburban surroundings contain some subdivision names that will truly make you shake you head in bewilderment. One elitist view-lot area is incorporated as the town of Paradise Valley. Dan Quayle lives there. Not my idea of Paradise - maybe a conservative Republican's.

    In another suburb , a free-way wide throughfare that runs through a subdivision of poppin' fresh taupe cookie cutters is named Utopia Drive. Who are they trying to kid ?

  10. #10

    Name that subdivision...

    Basic rule is that you name the development for what was there before you plowed it under.

  11. #11

    Name that subdivision...

    What a great topic for a peeve-off!! Here are a few that I will share from home (in Ontario, Canada..it's a Canadian problem too!)

    -"Conservation Meadows" (...and WHAT is it that we're conserving?..oh, wait, there's a conservation area across the street)

    -"Lakeshore" (no lake ANYwhere near this subdivision!????)

    -"Alpine Village" (Alpine..not what you would envision for flat-terrain, cross-country skiing)

    here are also some of our really thoughtful street names too!

    -"Wake Robin Crescent" (Wake up-a little suzy, wake up!)

    -"Wind Jammer Way"...incidentally, a house under construction on this street blew down in a wind storm....

    I can't think of more at the moment, but I'm sure they'll pop into my had. And when they do!!

  12. #12

    Name that subdivision...

    It disheartens me to learn that this is occuring in Canada. I thought cheezy subdivision names were exclusively an American phenominon.

    Seems to me like Canada is becoming more like the U. S. everyday, and I don't mean it as a compliment. Gone are the 10 oz. Coke cans and Chevy Beaumonts. Today everything looks the same whether you're in Detroit or Windsor, Niagara Falls, N. Y. or Niagara Falls, Ontario.

    I guess, I shouldn't be surprised. We were in Niagara Falls earlier this year. The last time I was there was 1975 when I was nine years old. Almost everything I remember has been obliterated: Replaced by Casinos, Planet Hollywood and creeping crud subdivisions.

    Still, there is a lot less sprawl than here in the U. S. When America becomes a smog and traffic-choked Hellhole in the next few years wraught by the proliferation of subdivisions and SUVs,I may have to move there...into an existing house of course. I don't want any blood on my hands.

  13. #13

    Name that subdivision...

    Drew:

    I think sprawl is much more prominent here in the U.S. because there are so many more people in the U.S. than in Canada. Canada's population is only about 25 million, in comparison to the U.S.'s some 625 million. That's HUGE difference...

    The other thing is that there really is a great deal of sprawl occurring, at least where I am from (Southern Ontario). One of the biggest problems is that the strip of south/southwestern Ontario from about Windsor to Montreal (Quebec) contains the majority of Canada's most fertile farmland..and it's disappearing VERY quickly..

    Yeah, you could move to Canada when the U.S. gets too bad, but you may have to move to the Prairie provinces or to north-north Ontario where either the climate is unfavored to most people or where people can't build at all because of the permafrost. You're right, it IS a sad situation and it is a North American problem and both of our countries are guilty of contributing.

    Your solution of moving into an existing house is a decision that I would also make based on your reasoning. It's kind of like recycling...you can't make everyone do it, but if you do what you know is right, and recycle, then you've done what you can!

  14. #14

    Name that subdivision

    We have many subdivisions like that in my town.

    Jackson Lake - has a nice, little 12 acre "lake," the developer now wants to fill in 4 acres of the lake.

    Rockford Hills - a national home builder bought a development designed by another company on a property with significant slopes. The home builder decided to blast, cut and fill to make the land fit their slab homes, instead of designing homes to fit the land.

    We also have many farms that are now subdivisions, so the subdivision is always named something farms.

    Your professor is absolutely right

  15. #15

    valleyview estates

    Of course remember...

    at Valley View estates, there probably was no valley,
    and there certainly is no view!

  16. #16
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Dec 1997
    Location
    Huntington, West Virginia
    Posts
    28

    Name that subdivision

    Clayton, That actually is a good idea and if that subdivision naming process became law think of how that might protect the environment and the residential consumer. How many people would move into a new subdivision named "Slimey Swamp Estates" or "City Landfill Place" or better still "Toxic Dump Acres". Conjures up an interesting picture doesn't it?????

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