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Thread: The Horror.....the Horror

  1. #1
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    The Horror.....the Horror

    BANGOR -- In a city with no stoplights, one supermarket and three gas stations, there is room for only one queen.

    So would the real Miss Bangor please step forward?

    Is she Steena Sumner, 16, who was crowned Miss Bangor on Nov. 6?

    Or is it the young woman to be crowned Sunday in the Miss Bangor (Blossomtime) contest?

    ``Little ol' Bangor doesn't need two pageants,'' said Kelly Weber, Miss Bangor pageant photographer. ``Kalamazoo doesn't have two pageants. Grand Rapids doesn't have two pageants. So why in the world would Bangor have two?''

    That question is echoed by others in Bangor, where people are serious about their pageants.

    ``It's tearing the community apart,'' Weber said. ``There are longtime friends that don't talk anymore because of this.''

    This conflict reared its ugly head last year.

    According to Miss Bangor Chairwoman Dorothy Carpenter, she decided in 2004 that she could not handle the responsibility of sending a queen to the regional Blossomtime contest, held each spring in Benton Harbor. After weeks of correspondence with Blossomtime officials, she was notified she was no longer eligible to send her queen to their pageant, Carpenter said.

    Cory Knuth, chairman of Miss Bangor (Blossomtime), said Blossomtime officials contacted him in 2004 and requested that he honor Bangor's commitment to the pageant. Knuth agreed to put his previous pageant experience to the test. He started a Miss Bangor (Blossomtime) contest and crowned its first queen five weeks later.
    http://www.mlive.com/news/kzgazette/...980.xml&coll=7
    http://ci.bangor.mi.us/Government/ar...%20Winners.pdf
    Seems the town of Bangor, MI (pop. 2000) faces a crisis and I wonder how the community will pull through. Two Miss Bangors have been selected in two different pageants and the question which hangs like the sword of Damocles over their heads...which one is the real queen. Talk about identity crises! I wish I could say the community will emerge from the controversy stronger but I suspect an irrepairable rift will forever plague them: Montagues and Capulets, divided in their allegiances. At least no blood has been spilled yet.
    Last edited by Maister; 01 Dec 2005 at 11:36 AM.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  2. #2
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    There is way too much good stuff there, but I am going to keep my composure.

  3. #3
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by DetroitPlanner
    There is way too much good stuff there, but I am going to keep my composure.
    No, go right ahead and tell the world what you think. Don't you think this is a significant matter? The world should be able to look at just one of these exemplary teens and immediately "Bangor" should come to mind. How is this supposed to occur when there are two of them? Miss Bangor should be seen as a welcoming ambassador and the issue is important in terms of this community's identity.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  4. #4

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    Semi-Off-Topic: At least the contestants are teens. What really creeps me out are the toddler and pre-teen contests (that little girl probably murdered by her parents in Denver). There is some major creepiness in that scene. Of course, I find competitive cheerleading bizarre, too, so...

  5. #5
    Cyburbian
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    This is stupid... why have 2 different pageants? It's just a small 2000 inhabitant town.... 1 is enough.

  6. #6
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SkeLeton
    This is stupid... why have 2 different pageants? It's just a small 2000 inhabitant town.... 1 is enough.
    I'll drop five levels of irony for the moment and answer your question - the reason for multiple pageants comes down to money. Sponsors pay good money to host these pageants in an effort to advertise. For a small community like Bangor, though, there's a fairly limited supply of sponsorship dollars available and the two pageant organizers end up taking money out of each others' pockets.

    Yes, one is quite enough.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Big Owl's avatar
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    I say a rock, paper, scissor death match is in order... if they were of age i would say cream corn wrestling match but that would be degrading...


    what do if there is a tie at the 4-H cattle show?

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus
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    OT
    Another hot issue out of Maine is the "Lingerie Store Window Has Live Models"

    Article from the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...112800183.html

  9. #9
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Big Owl
    I say a rock, paper, scissor death match is in order... if they were of age i would say cream corn wrestling match but that would be degrading...


    what do if there is a tie at the 4-H cattle show?
    There's been some discussion if perhaps a cherry pit spittin'

    or hog rasslin' contest

    might settle the matter once and for all, but thus far neither pageant winner has come forth to challenge the other for supremacy in either skill.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    I just don't know but when you put the words "Bangor" and "Teens" in the same sentence it is hard to take any of it serious.
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  11. #11
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNA
    OT
    Another hot issue out of Maine is the "Lingerie Store Window Has Live Models"

    Article from the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...112800183.html
    that is funny - but i think the thread is a town in Michigan - Bangor has lots of traffic lights and sold its soul to sprawl susburban retail development a while back -

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Plus
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    My Bad
    I read Bangor and thought it was Maine.
    Have to read more closely and not so quickly.

  13. #13
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    A simple solution would be for both beauties to represent the town in the regional Blossomtime contest. Just imagine how happy everyone in town will be attend a pageant with the gang Bangor.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian statler's avatar
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    A quick FYI from City-data.com:

    Bangor, Maine
    Population (year 2000): 31,473, Est. population in July 2004: 31,595 (+0.4% change)
    "So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams." -Gaiman
    ArchBoston

  15. #15
    Cyburbian PlannerByDay's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by statler
    A quick FYI from City-data.com:

    Wrong Bangor. The story is in Bangor Michigan 2000 Population 1,933 52.7% female and 47.3 % Male

  16. #16
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    LOL!

    the mix up is as funny as the story -


  17. #17
    Quote Originally posted by biscuit
    A simple solution would be for both beauties to represent the town in the regional Blossomtime contest. Just imagine how happy everyone in town will be attend a pageant with the gang Bangor.
    That was worth the price of admission. Thanks, biscuit!
    Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.
    Abraham Lincoln

  18. #18
    Cyburbian statler's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by PlannerByDay
    Wrong Bangor. The story is in Bangor Michigan 2000 Population 1,933 52.7% female and 47.3 % Male
    "So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams." -Gaiman
    ArchBoston

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Cardinal's avatar
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    This is serious, folks. Let's not forget the impact of rival popes in the middle ages (Rome, Avignon). This current situation is equally important. Without knowing for certain who is their real queen, which of these young ladies should the peasants and townspeople look to as their ruler? Are we going to see another War of the Roses, as two houses gather armies and make war that will devastate the countryside? Has either queen received the blessing of the Holy Church?
    Anyone want to adopt a dog?

  20. #20
    Cyburbian abrowne's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen B
    I just don't know but when you put the words "Bangor" and "Teens" in the same sentence it is hard to take any of it serious.
    I was thinking the same... teehee.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Talk about totally shamed.....

    I read the title of this thread and quickly pried it open because I thought it was in reference to the return to Cyburbia posting of a certain rumpy fish.

    Talk about the horror.

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  22. #22
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    The War of the Roses (Bangor Ed) has begun

    http://www.mlive.com/news/kzgazette/...000.xml&coll=7

    Well, now its on. With two Miss Bangors, what will the world do? I wonder if they will have a third, Miss Pickle Time, named after their largest export, well second to inmates?
    If you're not growing, you're dying. - Lou Holtz

  23. #23
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    http://www.mlive.com/news/kzgazette/...000.xml&coll=7

    Well, now its on. With two Miss Bangors, what will the world do? I wonder if they will have a third, Miss Pickle Time, named after their largest export, well second to inmates?
    Huh, I didn't know pickles and inmates were their two largest exports. I always figured it was crystal meth and adoptive infants.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

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