Urban planning community | #theplannerlife

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Why all Soccer Players are going to hell!

  1. #1

    Registered
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Solano County, California
    Posts
    6,468

    Why all Soccer Players are going to hell!

    At least if they do not obey this holy fatwa issued by a Saudi Iman:

    (From Harpers Magazine-December 2005)

    1. Do not play soccer with four lines surrounding the field, since this is the way of the nonbelievers.

    3. If a player falls during the game and breaks his hand or foot, he shall not say "foul" and shall not stop playing because of his injury. The one who caused his injury shall not receive a yellow or red card but rather the case shall be judged according to Muslim law. The inured player shall exercise his rights according to the shari'ah, as stated in the Koran, and you must testify together with him that so-and-so tripped him intentionally.

    6. You must play the entire game with the intention of improving your physical fitness for the purpose of fighting jihad. One should not waste time in celebrating a false victory.

    7. Do not play for fourty-five minutes, as is the practice among the Jews and the Christians. This is also the length of time that is accepted in the soccer clubs of those who have strayed from the righteous path.

    8. Do not play in two halves, but rather in one part or in three parts, so as to be different from the sinful and rebellious, the nonbelievers and the polytheists.

    11. In the course of the game, it is forbidden for groups of youths to gather and watch, since, if you are gathering for the sake of sports activuty and physical fitness as you claim, why should they be looking at you? You must make them participate in order to imprve their physical fitness and prepare for jihad, or else say to them, "Go propagate Islam and seek out moral corruption in the marketplace and in the press in order to correct it" and leave us to imprve our physical fitness."
    No comments are possible. This HAS to be a hoax, no?

  2. #2
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 1996
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    14,739
    Blog entries
    3
    Quote Originally posted by BKM
    No comments are possible. This HAS to be a hoax, no?
    It's real. Very real. Very, very real.

    From the Middle East Research Institute:

    The Saudi daily Al-Watan reported recently that Islamic extremists were inciting Saudi soccer players to quit their teams and wage jihad in Iraq. According to these reports, the young athletes were influenced by fatwas forbidding the game of soccer except when played under certain conditions and with the express intention of using the game as physical training for jihad. Saudi sheikhs and intellectuals have criticized the fatwas and the religious authorities that issued them.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Tri-Cities, Washington
    Posts
    9,168
    Blog entries
    2
    Why does this mean that ALL soccer players are going to hell?
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    7,061
    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    Gee, why I am not surprised.

  5. #5

    Registered
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Solano County, California
    Posts
    6,468
    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN
    Why does this mean that ALL soccer players are going to hell?
    Well, not ALL perhaps:

    1. You are either a good believer and you obey the fatwa and hence will experience the paradise of virgins; or

    2. You are a doomed non-believer who are going to hell.

    See, you have total religious freedom.

    Saudi sheikhs and intellectuals have criticized the fatwas and the religious authorities that issued them.
    Saudi INTELLECTUALS? LOL. Who listens to these "intellectuals" outside of the Western press?

    The Sheikhs may well be publically "condemning" the imans, but I bet their money is still a flowin'

  6. #6
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    21,881
    Oh, c'mon it's not so different from NFL football rules - rule 3 for example might make for a refreshing rule change to the current 'instant replay challenge' rule.
    3. If a player falls during the game and breaks his hand or foot, he shall not say "foul" and shall not stop playing because of his injury. The one who caused his injury shall not receive a yellow or red card but rather the case shall be judged according to Muslim law. The inured player shall exercise his rights according to the shari'ah, as stated in the Koran, and you must testify together with him that so-and-so tripped him intentionally
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
    Registered
    Jul 2003
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    7,061
    Quote Originally posted by BKM
    Saudi INTELLECTUALS? LOL. Who listens to these "intellectuals" outside of the Western press?
    Possibly some sort of secret police, trying to figure out who to lock up next?

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. MLS and the State of American Soccer
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 10
    Last post: 05 Aug 2012, 1:31 AM
  2. Replies: 12
    Last post: 28 Oct 2010, 4:46 PM
  3. First Time Soccer Coach
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 8
    Last post: 28 Jan 2008, 8:46 PM
  4. Players for picks!
    Fantasy Football
    Replies: 7
    Last post: 20 Jul 2006, 11:05 AM
  5. Replies: 1
    Last post: 25 Aug 2004, 11:38 AM