Urban planning community

+ Reply to thread
Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Blair Witch Desk Fort

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2000
    Location
    Sans Souci
    Posts
    5,265

    Blair Witch Desk Fort

    I have seen desk fort documentaries before on Cyburbia, but I dismissed them as the ficticous products of overstimulated planner slackers from Florida. That was until I viewed the reminents of a video tape that was retrieved from behind a large code enforcement filing cabinet that hadn't been moved in decades. What you are about to see are still photos from this video tape? Having researched the personnel history of our code enforcement department, it was discovered that Code Enforcement Officer Stan Still disappeared without a trace on Febraury 15, 1985. It is believed that this video may have recorded Stan's last moments on this Earth.

    WARNING - THE FOLLOWING IMAGES MAY CONTAIN MATERIAL INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

    It appears that Stan was conducting a site inspection of what appeared to be an abandoned construction office trailer. The thick growth around the trailer and the age of the piled construction materials suggests that the site had not been targeted for nuisance enforcement in decades.






    Upon entering the trailer, Stan found a hallway on one side of the trailer, with what appeared to be an office at the end. He cautiously enters the office.





    He finds an abandoned office with an old blue print rack... but there is another door.





    He enters this inner door to find an office with a desk and what appears to be a planners office. We made this deduction based on the AICP certificate and the planning literature on the bookshelf.







    Upon closer inspection, Stan notices various survival articles located under the desk. On the video tape you can hear the wind howling and branches from the overgrowth scraping the sides and roof of the trailer.





    There are various liquor bottles, sunflower seeds and a can of tuna. Apparently the creature that nested in this lair, like tuna and alcohol. There was also a shopping list left behind.








    The creatures bedding consisted of a mexican blanket, a pillow with duck hunting pillow case and a Ms. Wonderful doll.




    The only garments around were a leopard skin fez and a Fishbone ball cap. Very strange?




    This animal also appears to have had a very eclectic musical taste. What kind of creature would listen to Slayer, Old and in the Way and Burl Ives? If this "thing" be human, he/she/Eunick clearly has some fundamental mental problems.






    There were also a number of books neatly stacked. Apparently, the creature planned on spending several months under this desk. Perhaps it was planning to wait out the impending nuclear winter feared in the mid-1980's




    The strangest find of all was a picture (presumably of lovers). EUWWWW !!!!!



    At this point the video recorder is jerked around violently after you hear a door creaks open. If you are squeamish, you should not look at the image below. This may very well have been the last thing the expired Stan Still saw. Oh the humanity of it all.

    Last edited by Budgie; 15 Jan 2006 at 4:18 PM.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  2. #2
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2004
    Location
    No Where Man
    Posts
    1,519
    You have way too much time on your hands. Wouldn't be better to spend this time making Lawrie happy?
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  3. #3
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Santiago, Chile
    Posts
    4,767
    Laughed my a$$ off!!! Although there should have been more mystery into it... To make it a true blair witch rip off

    Desk forts, the house of the future planners, that driven off by rising house prices are forced to live under their desks...

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,796
    You're the only one who knows, to hook and land a tuna you need the oil.... I for one, am shocked!

    p.s. Is that really your trailer???

  5. #5
    Zoning Lord Richmond Jake's avatar
    Registered
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Jukin' City
    Posts
    16,709
    I haven't seen paisley since 1971. Brings back bad memories.

    Anyway, I'm in complete and utter amazement! I'm expecting Cannes or Sundance to ask you for a copy of this film. Magnificant!!! I cried! I laughed! Where can I buy the t-shirt? (No KY on the shopping list?)

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2003
    Location
    "Somewhere in the middle"
    Posts
    3,171
    Rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  7. #7
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,486
    ROFLMAO! Funniest thread in a while! Who would have guessed that ICP would have been the cause of Stan's demise.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  8. #8
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
    Registered
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Someplace between yesterday and tomorrow.
    Posts
    13,156

    Ding Ding Ding

    Ladies, Gentlemen, and Rumpy, On behalf of Stan and I, it is our honor to present the first ever, STANBEL PRIZE Award to Budgie for his work on the Blair Witch Desk Fort Project.

    (Certificate to follow once we get Budgie’s mailing address… and we get around to it. Please PM Maister or me so we can send it out.)
    You get what you give.

  9. #9
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,486
    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    (Certificate to follow once we get Budgie’s mailing address… and we get around to it. Please PM Maister or me so we can send it out.)
    Yeah, better send it to Mskis or me. You might be waiting a while if you depend on Stan to send the certificate out when he gets around to it.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  10. #10
    Cyburbian sisterceleste's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2004
    Location
    No Where Man
    Posts
    1,519

    a stanbel award

    What an honor. Budgie, please send autograph to me.
    You darn tootin', I like fig newtons!

  11. #11
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 1996
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    14,608
    Blog entries
    3
    This post wins teh award!
























































































  12. #12
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2004
    Location
    on my 15 minute break
    Posts
    18,486
    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    This post wins teh prize!
    Wow, Budgie! Such honors. Those are awards from all the sources that matter!
    I am a little hazy, however, on how the 'Blair Desk Fort Project' advanced the causes of fundamentalism, glurge, purple unicorns, pagans, lesbians, dittoeheads........
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  13. #13
    Cyburbian
    Registered
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Santiago, Chile
    Posts
    4,767
    Quote Originally posted by Dan
    This post wins teh prize!
    (Images of pure horror removed)
    Oh god... that's even more terrifying than Budgie's OP.

    My eyes! The googles do nothing!!!

  14. #14
    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2003
    Location
    "Somewhere in the middle"
    Posts
    3,171
    Yah, know all these awards are going to go to his head and I have to live with that yah know!!!!
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Registered
    Sep 1999
    Location
    400 miles from Orlando
    Posts
    13,796
    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    I am a little hazy, however, on how the 'Blair Desk Fort Project' advanced the causes of fundamentalism, glurge, purple unicorns, pagans, lesbians, dittoeheads........
    I think the other guy in the photo is into these causes, right?

    Oh, and he called today looking for the Greyhound bus schedules to Kansas. What does that mean?

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
    Registered
    May 2003
    Location
    Northwestern Ohio
    Posts
    9,327

    The Soundtrack Of Your Life

    Great stills from the video. We saw the pile of tunes...."Old & In The Way"...???....what kind of person would have THAT in a collection?

    I was wondering about the soundtrack.....what I am hearing as I view the vid stills is "The End", by The Doors.

    He walked on down the hall.....Father.....

    Bear
    Occupy Cyburbia!

  17. #17
    Cyburbian Plus
    Registered
    Jun 2003
    Location
    De Noc
    Posts
    18,497
    Quote Originally posted by Bear Up North
    I was wondering about the soundtrack.....what I am hearing as I view the vid stills is "The End", by The Doors.
    I heard this line "There’s danger on the edge of town"
    http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/doors,-the/42686.html
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  18. #18
    Cyburbian tsc's avatar
    Registered
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Under the Table
    Posts
    1,900
    Blog entries
    6
    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    I haven't seen paisley since 1971. Brings back bad memories.

    very funny...the paisley jumped out at me too...very creepy!
    "Yeehaw!" is not a foreign policy

    Renovating the '62 Metzendorf
    http://metzendorf.blogspot.com/

+ Reply to thread

More at Cyburbia

  1. Fetal position/desk fort kinda days
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 38
    Last post: 18 Jan 2011, 10:53 AM
  2. Replies: 31
    Last post: 11 Aug 2005, 9:41 AM
  3. Fort Bonifacio
    Cities and Places
    Replies: 5
    Last post: 21 Jul 2004, 1:56 PM
  4. The NY Times - Jayson Blair Story
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 15
    Last post: 12 May 2003, 6:27 PM
  5. Blair headed for the ICC?
    Friday Afternoon Club
    Replies: 4
    Last post: 23 Apr 2003, 1:17 AM