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Thread: Contacting old friends

  1. #1
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
    Feb 2002

    Contacting old friends

    Because I'm nosy, I was searching the web and found a friend from high school. We haven't talked since then (1991), but I found out that he went into a similar career path, and only lives 20 minutes away! I want to email him, but I feel like a stalker. How would you feel if someone contacted you from your past? Would you care? On the flip side, have you ever contacted anyone from your past, and how did it go?

    Sorry if there is a thread similar to this already, search didn't help me at all!

  2. #2
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
    Feb 2004
    on my 15 minute break
    The potentially uncomfortable tacit question both parties subconsciously recognize in this situation is why didn't we stay in contact in the first place?

    I guess....depending on who it was....I wouldn't mind hearing from some old friends from years past out of the blue. But like I said, depends on who it was and how we parted ways.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  3. #3
    Apr 2005
    Section 14-12-7, 3rd PM

    Go for it

    A while back I searched out several friends from high school that I hadn't spoken too since. I simply Googled their names and found many. I e-mailed them and told them how I tracked them down. Some were on professional websites, others were on forums, one had signed a guestbook for a restaurant in Ohio.

    I never thought it as stalking, I was just bored and thought "wonder what happened to this guy", and found him. Some I've kept in contact with, others not. All seemed glad to hear from me.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
    May 2005
    The Fox Valley
    Blog entries
    I first started college this year, and at the same time joined at least 2 of many popular networking websites designed for my generation.

    Well, I came across a bunch of people from my old elementary school in my old town, some of which I haven't seen or talked to in a decade. I added many to my "friends list", electronically contacted nearly a dozen of them, and met up with at least 3 or 4 of them.

    It was very nice to be able to do this and just reminisce about the good times. It also kinda brought some closure to my life.

    As far as the older generations, where you actually have to pick up the phone or randomly send an email, I can see it being a little bit more difficult. But if you really had a good relationship with the person and just want to stay in touch or catch up on things...I really don't see the harm. The way I look at it is...wouldn't it be sad if you or they died tomorrow and never took the opportunity to see each other one last time?
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  5. #5
    Jun 2004
    I got in contact with an old friend from high school recently, he is a new business owner in the city I work for and needed some sign approvals...it was coincidence that we ran into each other...actually hung out a few times but realized the only thing we had in common was high school...haven't talked to him in a while...
    I still have quite a few friends from high school/ college...those I am not friends with anymore, I most likely don't really care to get in contact with again...

  6. #6
    Jan 2003
    Santiago, Chile
    I wouldn't be interested in contacting any of my former classmates and friends... I do bump into a few once in a while... but not that often...

    And my classmates from the US... well it's been so long that I hardly remember them...

  7. #7
    Cyburbian TOFB's avatar
    Jan 2006
    Loma Linda's
    I do it by email and say you are not stalking, trying to sell something, etc. Let them make the next move...

  8. #8
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
    Aug 2005
    i've contacted a bunch of old friends via the internet. most of the time it is friends i've rediscovered on MySpace or Classmates.com. a few of them i've actually kept in contact with past the first few reaccquaintance e-mails. others have just been one or two e-mails to see how life has treated them.

    i say go for it! contact'em and explain how you found them and go from there.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
    Mar 2004
    Where Valley Fever Lives


    Maybe not as far back as high school, but certainly past co-workers. Warning, THE ONE reserves the right to call previous co-workers at any time for any reason, just to shoot the breeze or whatever
    Skilled Adoxographer

  10. #10
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
    Aug 2001
    I find e-mail really innocuous. If someone contacted me via e-mail (and they have!), I wouldn't mind at all.

    That being said, I have a good friend from HS and we stayed friends until my late-20s. I gave him a lot of support when he was coming out of the closet, especially when his family disowned him and he seemed really lost. Then we lost touch for awhile.

    Five years later... he calls me all the time, and he has since become obsessed with me in that he wants to try again being hetero. No lie. He has convinced himself that he'd be happy with me. Right before I got married, he even asked me to move back to LA and marry him instead. Dude, you've never even slept with a woman, and you want to marry me??? It's creeping me out, because for a year he kept telling me how much he misses me and how I'm the only one for him. He doesn't bring it up much anymore, because it's obvious it creeps me out... but it still taints anything we talk about.

    So friendship is good, and contacting old friends is fine. But when friends go a little wonky and start becoming weird, I have to draw the line.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
    May 2003
    Northwestern Ohio
    This Bear's high school graduation class was over six-hundred (600). From that batch of kids I hung with about a dozen. I have absolutely no idea what happened to any of them. Oddly enough, there are a couple in that group I am curious about.

    The other day the U.S. Postal Service was gracious enough to deliver my invitation to my high school's 40-Year Class Reunion. We will get together this summer at a local country club, check each other out, see who "made it", see who shook their "1966 geekiness" and now turn the young'ns heads, discuss who is now wearing a cap and gown in heaven, hell, or someplace in between.

    Whether or not any of my old gang is at the reunion.....we shall see.

    As mentioned in other threads, this Bear was responsible for bringing a young boy into the world, back in 1967. The high school girl that joined me in this "back seat of the DeSoto" adventure went away to have the child, and gave the boy up for adoption. That's what kids did back then.

    After nearly forty (40) years, I still would love to sit down with Jennifer, have a beer, discuss where we have been in life. Just for kicks and curiousity.

    Note: To keep it "above-board" I would encourage Katie to go with me.

    In January of this year I did get a chance to see some olde work friends, from about twenty (20) years ago. It was at the funeral of another old work friend. He was only in his early sixties.....crashed into a tree. Sad day, but nice to see my old work friends.

    I have done some Googling of some old friends' names. Nothing ever came up, most likely because many folks in my generation are not interweaved into the computer net.

    Occupy Cyburbia!

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
    Aug 2001
    South Milwaukee
    Funny, just before seeing this thread, I responded to an e-mail from my high school prom date. She had sent me a life update / family photo / how've you been stranger email.

    I would consider doing the same to long lost friends if I had enough time and motivation. I have enough trouble keeping up with my current circle of friends sometimes!

  13. #13
    Cyburbian urbanchik's avatar
    Mar 2005
    Detroit, MI
    Two high school friends recently contacted me through Classmates.com. I was so glad to hear from them, even though one had her sister, a paralegal, track down my unlisted phone number from questionable methods. You just reminded me that I wanted to track down a good friend from grad school who I miss dearly. I googled her name and found out where she works so I plan on sending an e-mail. We were good friends, so hopefully she wont think I am a stalker.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
    Apr 2003
    Someplace between yesterday and tomorrow.
    Just the other day a friend of mine from college, that I have regular contact with, sent me an invite to myspace.com

    I figured that I would check it out and much to my surprise, I found people that I have not seen in years. I made contact with them and found it fascinating how people can come from similar backgrounds and end up so differently. I think it can be fun to see how people have grown up and changed. It is all about connections and contacts.

    I think that it can be a tremendous opportunity to reestablish contact with old class mates and friends and expand your social network!
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  15. #15
    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
    Feb 2006
    I'm not sure where I am...or where I want to be
    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    I think that it can be a tremendous opportunity to reestablish contact with old class mates and friends and expand your social network!
    Especially since I can use email, which is so easy. I'm not much of a phone talker, but I give good email.

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