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Thread: Reasons I'm glad to be a guy

  1. #1
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Reasons I'm glad to be a guy

    1. No negative body image
    2. Clothing sizes make sense
    3. No high heels
    4. Don't have to shave my legs and armpits
    5. .........
    Last edited by mendelman; 02 Mar 2006 at 11:18 AM.
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    The ends can justify the means.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by mendelman
    Don't have to shave my legs and armpits
    * Women don’t have to shave their face... well most women that is.


    I don't have to spend $30 or more on a hair cut
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

  3. #3
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    - under no obligation to nurse other guys feelings through tough emotional times.

    - never have to endure labor pains
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  4. #4
    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
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    REASONS i'M GLAD i'M NOT A MAN:

    1. I don't have to grab my genitals every 10 minutes to make sure they're still there.


  5. #5
    Cyburbian statler's avatar
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    - I get to grab my genitals every ten minutes to check that they are still there.
    "So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams." -Gaiman
    ArchBoston

  6. #6
    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by statler
    - I get to grab my genitals every ten minutes to check that they are still there.
    Touche!

  7. #7
    Cyburbian
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    No menstral cycles

  8. #8
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    5. On a road trip, a guy just needs to pull off to the nearest on-ramp or even the side of the road if the road is deserted for a pee. A minute later you are on the raod again.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  9. #9
    Cyburbian cmavis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by savemattoon
    No menstral cycles
    I can pee standing up without regard to the seat being up or down.

  10. #10
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop
    5. On a road trip, a guy just needs to pull off to the nearest on-ramp or even the side of the road if the road is deserted for a pee. A minute later you are on the raod again.
    Or as a friend of mine once phrased it (while in the act of relieving himself on the a tree) "when you're a dude, the whole world's a toilet!"
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  11. #11
    moderator in moderation Suburb Repairman's avatar
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    Not have a social expectation to remove every ounce of body hair.

    Simpler clothes.

    "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

    - Herman Göring at the Nuremburg trials (thoughts on democracy)

  12. #12
    Cyburbian
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    Never need to worry about what I am going to wear nor do I need to put on three different outfits before I leave the house.

    I instinctively know not to ask those questions that do not have a good answer (Does my butt look big in this, and don't lie to me?)

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
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    Never need to worry about travelling if I'm alone, assuming that I don't do something stupid like walk up a dark alley in Detroit.
    Back home just in time for hockey season!

  14. #14
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Farting is accepted and a sign of dominance in male circles.

    The louder the belch... the bigger the man...

    Beer is a perfectly acceptable breakfast food...

    No dishes? Eat over the sink!

    It is normal to beat the hell out of an inanimate object when stubbing one's toe (or thumb).

    TWO WORDS: Chili fries...

    THREE WORDS: License to ogle.

    Watching TV, eating pork rinds, and wearing only boxers
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  15. #15
    Cyburbian Seabishop's avatar
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    No makeup.

    I always thought it must be awful to be asked out by creepy guys.

  16. #16
    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
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    You guys are so right on most of this stuff, which is why I don't buy into a lot of what's expected of women (high heels, makeup, etc.)

    I asked my husband once if it was gross to kiss a woman who's wearing lipstick. That seems like it'd be very yucky, to kiss her and taste toxic dye (which is why I won't wear it). He demurred, not wanting to bring up old girlfriends, I guess, ha ha. But guys, isn't that yucky? Why are so many men attracted to women who wear a lot of makeup? Isn't that misleading?
    peace out

  17. #17
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    I never have to ask for directions.

  18. #18
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by CosmicMojo
    You guys are so right on most of this stuff, which is why I don't buy into a lot of what's expected of women (high heels, makeup, etc.)

    I asked my husband once if it was gross to kiss a woman who's wearing lipstick. That seems like it'd be very yucky, to kiss her and taste toxic dye (which is why I won't wear it). He demurred, not wanting to bring up old girlfriends, I guess, ha ha. But guys, isn't that yucky? Why are so many men attracted to women who wear a lot of makeup? Isn't that misleading?
    peace out
    Personally, I object to the use of cosmetics in most situations [hick voice]Look Zeke, it's a painted woman[/hick voice]. And lipstick definitely is included.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  19. #19
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    The ability to walk into a bar, sit down, and enjoy a beer without having to worry about dancing, members of the opposite sex, waiting in line to use the bathroom, spending 6 hours to get ready, having the correct accessories, or spending 10 minutes trying to explain to the bar tender how to make a fufu drink that has a little umbrella, two gummy worms, ¼ slice of lime, 1/3 slice of lemon, and 6.5 ice cubes.
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

  20. #20
    Suspended Bad Email Address teshadoh's avatar
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    How about 'female medical issues'? In particular my wife's bout with endometriosis, which has required her to have her second laparoscopy. Besides that she has cramps & of course catches other illnesses...

    Sorry to bum people out, just sharing is all.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    6. Takes five minutes to get ready to go (deodorant, brush hair, clothes, shoes, keys). Fifteen minutes if I need to shower.

    Often I don't even begin to get ready until my wife says she is ready to go, because I know I still have fifteen minutes.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  22. #22
    Quote Originally posted by Suburb Repairman
    Not have a social expectation to remove every ounce of body hair.

    Simpler clothes.

    I was going to reply to this one, but I will limit my comment to say that you must not get to the east or west coast very often...

  23. #23
    Cyburbian dobopoq's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by CosmicMojo
    REASONS i'M GLAD i'M NOT A MAN:

    1. I don't have to grab my genitals every 10 minutes to make sure they're still there.

    It's not to make sure they're still there; It's because when sitting down, balls fall between legs, getting squeezed between crotch and pants. Women are much better suited to sit down jobs than men because of this. In fact, I think it largely explains why girls are usually better students than boys.
    Quote Originally posted by CosmicMojo
    You guys are so right on most of this stuff, which is why I don't buy into a lot of what's expected of women (high heels, makeup, etc.)

    I asked my husband once if it was gross to kiss a woman who's wearing lipstick. That seems like it'd be very yucky, to kiss her and taste toxic dye (which is why I won't wear it). He demurred, not wanting to bring up old girlfriends, I guess, ha ha. But guys, isn't that yucky? Why are so many men attracted to women who wear a lot of makeup? Isn't that misleading?
    peace out
    Make up is all about getting attention. When women wear lots of makeup, men are attracted not to the makeup, but to the message that they hope it implies: "I'm looking to get it on". But when you get up close, it's pretty disgusting. Leave make up to the mortician. As Scorpios know, sex and death have lots in common.
    "The current American way of life is founded not just on motor transportation but on the religion of the motorcar, and the sacrifices that people are prepared to make for this religion stand outside the realm of rational criticism." -Lewis Mumford

  24. #24
         
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    And exactly who is it you guys think we do all of these for??

  25. #25
    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dobopoq
    Make up is all about getting attention. When used to send a message about a women's level of promiscuity, men are attracted not to the makeup, but to the message that implies "I'm looking to get it on". But when you get up close, it's pretty disgusting. Leave make up to the mortician. But as Scorpios know, sex and death have lots in common.
    wow, you really answered my questions, thanks! I always wondered why guys like girls with makeup, and my guy friends never gave a very good answer; your's really makes sense. You are the oracle of the male mystique!

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