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Thread: what i should've said....

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    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    what i should've said....

    how many other people have the problem of coming up with a good comeback line about 10 minutes after the insult has occured?

    can anyone think of any ways to improve the timing? or is it a gift that some are just born with?

    i can be rather quick with a joke but when it comes to personal insults i think i'm just stunned that someone would actually say something mean to me.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Coragus's avatar
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    Sometimes I play out potential conversations in my head before a meeting so that if something comes up that I've practiced for, then I have a response. Most often though, I'm sitting in a meeting with one or two engineers, which means that I can't use my snappy comebacks, since I'm defaulted the role of "good cop".
    Back home just in time for hockey season!

  3. #3
    Cyburbian
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    LOL, isn't that a Seinfeld episode where George always comes up with comebacks after the fact and typically not as funny as he thinks they are... I recall the ending, where he goes through great lengths to set up a situation where he uses a comeback... A funny episode...

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Planderella's avatar
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    Personally, I think it's something that you're born with that you cultivate over time. I've always been quick-witted, so comebacks aren't a problem for me. For the most part, I can keep myself in check, but when I'm irritable or suffering from a lack of sleep, some things will slip out......
    "A witty woman is a treasure, a witty beauty is a power!"

  5. #5
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    When in doubt go with the classic... yea, well YOUR MOM!

    I think that everyone has a taste of it from time to time. But, I think some people are better at comebacks than other people.
    Invest in the things today, that provide the returns tomorrow.

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    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
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    A great tie-in to my "what do I say when my boss makes icky sexist and racist jokes?" question.

  7. #7
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    I'm not very good at quick comebacks. The bright side is, it keeps me out of trouble.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    I'm not very good at quick comebacks. The bright side is, it keeps me out of trouble.
    Where is the real RJ and what have you done with him?....

    I can NEVER come up with witty answers/comebacks. I'm on that 10-minute time delay.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    The difference between a great wit and the rest of us is the great wit comes up with a great response at the moment while the rest of us come up with the same response a half hour later. To paraphrase Mark Twain.

    Tooting my own horn, I am usually the guy at the meeting with the snappy comebacks. How did I get there? A combination of things. As someone previously mentioned - thinking up stuff beforehand (that stinging response to that annoying coworker that you have at ready) - listening and reading a lot of comedy - a naturally comic and sarcastic nature and a wide-ranging liberal arts education. Oh, and I am a smart-ass, too. Or perhaps you've already noticed that.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  10. #10
    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis
    When in doubt go with the classic... yea, well YOUR MOM!
    LOL - or to allow a pregnant silence and then turn to the guy next to you and say: "so I said to the guy..."

  11. #11
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
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    slightly embarressing, but funny story...

    When I was just learning to drive, I was out in the car with my sister and we got in a big fight over some stupid thing. We were screaming and yelling at each other and I had literally stopped the car in the middle of the road and had my foot up -- kicking her out of the car (unfortunately the door was still closed or it would have worked). [really funny visual though] I made some smart mouthed comment and she looked at me and said "oh yeah..." but couldn't come up with anything else. It broke the tension; I put my foot down; and we went on our way. We still laugh at that phrase to this day!
    Last edited by RandomPlanner; 03 Mar 2006 at 3:56 PM.
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  12. #12
         
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    George's comeback is "Oh yea, well the jerk store called, and they are running out of you!"

    Just use "that's what she said" as a comeback. It works for almost anything.

  13. #13
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    I'm too good at it... Why, you ask? Because I can't hold back at Council meetings. I have one who just hates my guts because she's not the brightest bulb, and just leaves so many pitches up over the plate... I just have to swing!

    Example:

    Her: I don't see why you need to spend $45,000 on a dump truck!
    Me: Well, our old one is shot...
    Her: Okay, then buy this one I found in this truck magazine. It's only $15,000!
    Me: (Looking at the magazine) This one won't work.
    Her: How can you tell?! You just looked at the picture! How can you tell?!
    Me: I can count to three...
    Her: What?
    Me: Axles... I need a 10 yard truck, it has 3 axles. This one you circled has two.
    Her: Oh...

    I got my truck, and my crew heard this story and named the truck after her. It's a riot to listen to them over the radio... all the other vehicles have unit numbers, except that one!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
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  14. #14
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Hold on - I will have a response for this thread in a couple minutes....

  15. #15
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    I had to come up with one on the spot during my planning board meeting the other night....

    PB Member: Are you a lawyer qualified to give a legal opinion?

    Me: No, Mr. Member, I am a professional planner, certified by the American Institute of Certified Planners, giving you my professional recommendation as your staff.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

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    Super Moderator luckless pedestrian's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by NHPlanner
    I had to come up with one on the spot during my planning board meeting the other night....

    PB Member: Are you a lawyer qualified to give a legal opinion?

    Me: No, Mr. Member, I am a professional planner, certified by the American Institute of Certified Planners, giving you my professional recommendation as your staff.
    I had that said to me once and I was just so tempted to say "no, but I play one on TV..." - but alas, I didn't

    that happens alot in this profession, you'll get a great comeback in your head that you can''t use because your 401k isn't filled up enough - LOL/smirk

  17. #17
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    i think that in some situations i am much too logical. last night at soccer i had words with a girl on another team. she then said something insulting to me and all i could think of was "well, you are kinda right about that" rather than zinging her back. and what i really said wasn't even that good. i think "Your mama" would've worked much better.

    okay, so i need to start practing comebacks in order to hone this skill. my friend's had better watch out!
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    The french call this "l'esprit de l'escalier," the "wit of the staircase" because you think of it as you're on the staircase leaving.
    Reality does not conform to your ideology.
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    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol

    okay, so i need to start practing comebacks in order to hone this skill. my friend's had better watch out!

    If you think it would help I could start insulting you

  20. #20
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner
    If you think it would help I could start insulting you
    okay. bring it. it might not be pretty but you gotta start somewhere.

    however, if i don't respond to your insult for some period of time it is obviously because i am busy and not because i have no comeback. yea....that's it.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  21. #21
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    Why give yourself a headache from thinking of a clever response when you can just punch someone?

  22. #22
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol
    okay. bring it. it might not be pretty but you gotta start somewhere.

    however, if i don't respond to your insult for some period of time it is obviously because i am busy and not because i have no comeback. yea....that's it.

    nobody likes you!





















    Got the idea from a response of yours in another thread

    Or my all time favorite - Your mother has a glass eye and its filled with kool aid!

  23. #23
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by imaplanner
    nobody likes you!
    yea, well.....i'm rubber and you're glue. whatever you say bounces of me and sticks to you.



    BOOOOO YAAAA!!!

    well i think we all know who won that exchange.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  24. #24
    Member CosmicMojo's avatar
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    I know you are but what am I?

  25. #25
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    For the inevitable "I pay taxes" comment you'll here - and that makes all the difference. Works best if you can add "dear" or "sir" to it.

    I have the opposite disease, 10 minutes after i say something I realize I should not have.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

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