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Thread: 1001 Rules for my Unborn Son

  1. #1
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
    Apr 2004
    Tri-Cities, Washington
    Blog entries

    1001 Rules for my Unborn Son

    Lately, I have been into reading platitudes and other people' guidlines for living life. Recently married, but happily intreched in "coupledom" I have often wondered what kind of Father I may one day become.
    Recently, I stumbled across this blog: 1001 Rules for my Unborn Son and have enjoyed reading the additions. It is no where near the 1001st rule, but is a good read for a slow, Friday afternoon.

    Check it out, post your favorites.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Duke Of Dystopia's avatar
    Jul 2003
    Cyburbias Brewpub, best seat in the haus!
    You were listening as a kid.

    The apple falls, and as it grows, you will find that your parents, and your SO's parents will commandeer your bodies and vocal chords. Not you, but your parents will come forth in all of their glory. Straight from your nightmares.

    Your rules for your children will be their rules, impressed upon you by long forgotten parental tyranny. Their words and values will come, unasked for, and possibly unwanted. You will be shaken.

    A kind of divine revelation will occur to you. You will find that your parents were right and now you know why, or, you will find out how to implement your core values to circumvent what you thought were mistakes.

    Other people rules are mostly meaningless in and of themselves with no context.
    I can't deliver UTOPIA, but I can create a HELL for you to LIVE in :)DoD:(

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
    Jul 2006
    Slightly Off-Center
    Your wife will discover that all YOUR worst faults have been inherited by YOUR son while none of her saving graces made it through the x-y filter. Eternal damnation will wished upon you for all his faults.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  4. #4
    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
    Jul 2003
    Down by Dun Ringill
    Blog entries
    My own rule for my own son: All that you need to know about being an admirable man can be found within the pages of Esquire magazine. Read it. But only after I've read it first!
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

  5. #5
    Cyburbian Richmond Jake's avatar
    Aug 2001
    The Emerald Coast
    Not sure if it's on the list (I didn't read through all of it), but I always told my two sons:

    Do as I say, not as I do.

    Not that they would listen to me.
    Last edited by Richmond Jake; 31 Oct 2008 at 8:18 PM.

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
    Sep 1999
    400 miles from Orlando
    Rule no 1: nobody has the patience to read over 1000 rules.

    No 2: knock a girl up, I take you to spend the afternoon with her dad, hope he's a Marine veteran.

    Pretty much sums it up.

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