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Thread: Judge A Book By The Cover 5: The Date

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    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Judge A Book By The Cover 5: The Date

    Here our young couple is out for a night on the town.


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    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Lloyd and Amy met at church
    No tans...hmmm...must not live in Florida
    Who knew they sold prom dresses at K-Mart?
    He goes to the community college and works part-time at the college library
    She works as a day-care aide
    Neither one drinks alcohol
    Lloyd likes baseball, fishing, and sci-fi novels
    Amy likes kids, weddings, and home cooking
    Mom and Dad will be helping them with that down payment

  3. #3
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Him thinking- " Wow, girls are soft, I think I can feel her bra strap."

    Her thinking- " Wow, he's touching my bra strap, wonder if this counts as being felt up, if so I like it."
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

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    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Angela and Matthew met at work, J. C. Penney's. She is a Receiving Clerk and he unloads trucks. Angela has posted for a position in the office, but their store is a mall store and the rumor is that it will be closing. Their enclosed mall has a 45% vacancy rate.

    During their early "get to know you" conversations, Angela admitted that she struggled in relationships because of a mentally abusive father. Matthew's good listening skills have given her a sense of trust of Matthew.

    Angela drives an older and very clean Honda Civic. Matthew has been driving the Chevrolet Blazer that his father gave him. He has suprised many with a good mechanical sense, necessary because of the problems with his car.

    Angela's Honda has a Purdue University sticker on the back, even though she never attended that school. Matthew's Blazer has an American Flag decal, somewhat faded.

    On their first date they met for lunch, on a non-work day, at a Wendy's. Angela ordered a salad with French dressing and Matthew ordered a single cheese, which he didn't finish because he didn't want to eat a lot in front of Angela.

    They both enjoy watching football and have attended a few college games. Matthew proudly carries some soft "fanny cushions" to the stadium and enjoys the moments that Angela kids him about that.

    Both are registered to vote in the mid-term elections. Angela's concern is the war in Iraq. Matthew has gone out of character lately, watching C-Span and Sunday morning politcal shows.....something he had never done before. He has not shared some of his new-found political views with Angela, because he doesn't want the relationship to have a kink.

    He will wait until he is married to gather the kinks.

    Bear
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    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    RJ went back in time to meet ZG.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

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    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    OMG....at a McDonald's I was working at in Oregon this couple came in. They walked up to the counter hand in hand and order off the dollar menu. The guy looks at the girl with stars in his eyes and says to me "Isn't she just the most beautiful thing ever?" All I said was "As long as you think so it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks!"
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

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    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Stanisha and Stan attend the Senior Ball.

    Stanisha is planning to attend the local community college to become a certified massage therapist. She is the first of her family to graduate from high school and plans to move to Hollywood after graduation.

    Stan is hoping to graduate from high school with no less than a D- average specializing in auto tech. He wants to become a BMW or Mercedes mechanic.

    Unfortunately, their dreams wither this evening when Stanisha announces she’s pregnant and the father is either Rumpy, The One, Budgie, or BUN.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by michaelskis View post
    RJ went back in time to meet ZG.
    Um....looks more like RJ went back in time to meet TN....

  9. #9
    Cyburbian Emeritus Bear Up North's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    Unfortunately, their dreams wither this evening when Stanisha announces she’s pregnant and the father is either Rumpy, The One, Budgie, or BUN.
    No, no, no.....can't be this Bear aka The Bunster......fixed in the early 1970's. Yes, there is another "story" for that one, involving a previous wife, a Catholic doc who wouldn't do the "fix", a naked wrestling match, an emergency room visit, and a "Candy Striper" who saw a little too much anatomy.

    Bear
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    Cyburbian jsk1983's avatar
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    It looks like the young couple is posing for a picture right before the prom. The couple meet in homeroom at the Tri-County Baptist School in rural Tennessee. After prom they will be attending the school sponsored after-prom party complete with a bounce house and karaoke in the school gym. Kelly works at the Dairy Queen on route 56 outside of town and Jeremiah is a stock clerk at the Wal-Mart 15 miles down the road in East Podunk. Both plan on attending college at Liberty University (founded by Pat Robertson) in Virginia where Kelly plans on studying youth ministry and Jeremiah plans on studying science with hopes of being a teacher in a Christian school.

  11. #11
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess View post
    Um....looks more like RJ went back in time to meet TN....
    Well, maybe. Damn, I look ugly there.


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    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Some little known facts about Lloyd and Amy and the time when he asked her out to the senior prom.
    - Lloyd saved up for two months working as a bagger at the grocery store to help pay for the limo
    - Lloyds hobbies include archery, reading Tolkien, and paging through the numerous issues of Penthouse he keeps hidden under his bed
    - at no time before, during, or after the date did Amy ever utter the words to Lloyd "I don't know, I've got a really sensitive gag reflex"
    - Amy graduated from high school with a 2.91 GPA (36th in a graduating class of 117!)
    - They went on a grand total of four dates before Amy grew bored with Lloyd. Her next boyfriend worked as a motocycle repairman at the local Harley dealership (she frequently tells her friends about his cute earing)
    - Lloyd had a nervous breakdown at age 27 and now lives on disability
    - After attending community college, Amy earned an associates degree in hospital administration. She now works as a medical transcriptionist for a pediatric partnership. Last year she reported $21,500 in earnings on her taxes
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

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    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    This is Melinda and Michael Ornsby. They live in Willmar, MN. They are both 22, and met 4 years ago at the Minnesota Renaissance Fair. Michael was portraying a strolling minstrel, while Melinda was portraying a royal princess. Two years to the day after they met, they married, at the Renaissance Fair (dressed in the appropriate garb, of course). Since they were only 20 when they married, they could only drink sparkling grape juice at the reception, and they could only afford to live in the apartment above Michael’s aunt’s garage (which is legal non-conforming). Michael works 20 hours a week at the local Radio Shack and attends community college where he is working towards an A.S. in Robotics. Melinda stays home and tries to sell her homemade princess headpieces on eBay. They share a ’90 Ford Festiva, and during their free time the like to snuggle while listening to Mannheim Steamroller and play with their pet ferret, Gareth. This photo was taken as they were leaving church on Easter Sunday, before heading to Ryan’s Steakhouse with their extended family, for their Easter dinner special.

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    Cyburbian otterpop's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    This is Melinda and Michael Ornsby. They live in Willmar, MN. They are both 22, and met 4 years ago at the Minnesota Renaissance Fair. Michael was portraying a strolling minstrel, while Melinda was portraying a royal princess. Two years to the day after they met, they married, at the Renaissance Fair (dressed in the appropriate garb, of course). Since they were only 20 when they married, they could only drink sparkling grape juice at the reception, and they could only afford to live in the apartment above Michael’s aunt’s garage (which is legal non-conforming). Michael works 20 hours a week at the local Radio Shack and attends community college where he is working towards an A.S. in Robotics. Melinda stays home and tries to sell her homemade princess headpieces on eBay. They share a ’90 Ford Festiva, and during their free time the like to snuggle while listening to Mannheim Steamroller and play with their pet ferret, Gareth. This photo was taken as they were leaving church on Easter Sunday, before heading to Ryan’s Steakhouse with their extended family, for their Easter dinner special.
    Heheheh. I like this one a lot. Especially the part about the pet ferret and the guy majoring in Robotics.
    "I am very good at reading women, but I get into trouble for using the Braille method."

    ~ Otterpop ~

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    Cyburbian jmello's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    This is Melinda and Michael Ornsby...This photo was taken as they were leaving church on Easter Sunday, before heading to Ryan’s Steakhouse with their extended family, for their Easter dinner special.
    Spot on! I had to stop reading for fear of laughing by myself in my office...that just looks weird.

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    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by otterpop View post
    Heheheh. I like this one a lot. Especially the part about the pet ferret and the guy majoring in Robotics.
    I think I know now how she does it - notice how all the details in her judge a book entries are interrelated. Lots of other entries have some interrelated details but all of her details 'fit' to support the images of certain definite personality types (in this case ones reeking of nerdiness, romanticism and mediocrity). I'm almost certain she picks the 'type' first and then thinks of funny details afterwards, as opposed to developing a persona from the details. It makes things much more plausible instead of a string of 'jokes' about the person/people.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  17. #17
    Unfrozen Caveman Planner mendelman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    ...I'm almost certain she picks the 'type' first and then thinks of funny details afterwards,..
    Isn't that the way everyone should play this game?

    That's the point of stereotyping. Select a "type" and then proceed with details that fit that "type".
    I'm sorry. Is my bias showing?

    Let's not be didactic in this profession, because that is a path to disillusion and irrelevancy.

    Six seasons and a movie!

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    Unfortunately, their dreams wither this evening when Stanisha announces she’s pregnant and the father is either Rumpy, The One, Budgie, or BUN.
    Alright, I confess.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

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    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    Originally posted by Maister:
    I'm almost certain she picks the 'type' first and then thinks of funny details afterwards
    You're right. I thought that was what everyone was doing.
    I was definitely thinking "geeky" and "romanticism" with this one (something about her outfit and upswept hair), but "mediocrity" hadn't come to mind. That cracks me up though, cause you're right. You totally hit the nail on the head.

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    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    cch came closest to what I was thinking when I first saw the photo. I saw renaissance fairs, RPGing and LARPing, Monty Python quotes cracked back and forth, a large library of science fiction and fantasy paperbacks on a bookshelf made from cinderblocks and 2x4s, weekend nights with a group of similar-minded folks in a large round booth at Dennys, an early '90s Toyota Tercel, a few PCs running various distributions of Linux, and an old Amiga 4000. Their fridge has a couple of six-packs of dark English beer and a bottle of Monty Python's Holy Ale, and the cabinet above it contains a bottle of Chaucer's Mead. He's a CS major; she has a dual major in Folklore and English. He's an athiest; she hints at being Wiccan. They live in Albuquerque with their two cats.

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    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    cch came closest to what I was thinking when I first saw the photo. I saw renaissance fairs, RPGing and LARPing, Monty Python quotes cracked back and forth, a large library of science fiction and fantasy paperbacks on a bookshelf made from cinderblocks and 2x4s, weekend nights with a group of similar-minded folks in a large round booth at Dennys, an early '90s Toyota Tercel, a few PCs running various distributions of Linux, and an old Amiga 4000. Their fridge has a couple of six-packs of dark English beer and a bottle of Monty Python's Holy Ale, and the cabinet above it contains a bottle of Chaucer's Mead. He's a CS major; she has a dual major in Folklore and English. He's an athiest; she hints at being Wiccan. They live in Albuquerque with their two cats.
    My eyes are wide open. I recall this EXACT SCENE when I visited a high school buddy at his frist place with a girlfriend. Just replace Albuquerque with Aurora, Colorado and this is SPOT ON. Wow... nice Dan.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

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    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Also, his friends are envious, because he landed one of the few rare geeky girls out there; that one in five who keeps a Dungeons and Dragons session, run to the electronic surplus store, or road trip to the Santa Fe Linux Festival from turning into a sausage party. His friends are also jealous because she's moderately attractive -- well, in that geeky way -- and not obese. On those rare occasions when his friends do date, they're usually one half of a couple that looks like this:



    Believe it or not, that girl has dated half the guys in their circle of friends, and quite a few in the Albuquerque SCA. [complaints rolling in] I'm sorry, I meant the Kingdom of al-Barran, in the Outlands.

    More of their friends:














  23. #23
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    I'm always glad to see two nerds finding eachother in love....
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  24. #24
    Cyburbian The One's avatar
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    Well....

    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post

    Unfortunately, their dreams wither this evening when Stanisha announces she’s pregnant and the father is either Rumpy, The One, Budgie, or BUN.
    I think its fair to say that she is in a world of hurt no matter who might be at fault this time

    We should do a caption contest with that TN and the Beast photo I'm certain that RJ's fealings will be hurt.....as they should be......the nerve of him being in a picture with TN.....I mean really!!
    Skilled Adoxographer

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    Cyburbian Queen B's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by zmanPLAN View post
    I'm always glad to see two nerds finding eachother in love....
    Hey nerds have to find each other to make new nerds...
    It is all a matter of perspective!!!

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