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Thread: Ideas to roast a land use attorney who specializes in adult uses

  1. #1
    Cyburbian Plannibelle's avatar
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    Ideas to roast a land use attorney who specializes in adult uses

    Hi! I work at a big city (which shall be nameles--no I am "NOT" responsible for the urban sprawl!) and she is giving a roast for an land use attorney who specializes in adult entertainment uses. He is retiring and they want to make it rather funny. I came up with an idea where we suggest to give his business cards a kick and suggested perhaps these logos:

    have stripper, will travel
    strippers have rights too
    when you think dirty thoughts and want to make a living at it--we're here to help.
    When you need to legalize that dirty bookstore-who'd you want to call? Prude Busters
    We're here to uncover and serve
    clothing optional is our namesake
    serving the depraved with a three piece suit.
    I'm the king of bare necessities
    Free speech is one lap dance away
    law is boring and arcane, let me show you how fun it can be.
    Shake wiggle and shimmy for the law!

    anyway that's for a starter. Any ideas to roast this guy is welcome

  2. #2
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Get them a copy of
    PAS 495/496
    Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Regulating Sex Businesses.
    Eric Damian Kelly and Connie Cooper. December 2000.
    Last edited by JNA; 03 Apr 2006 at 9:10 PM.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  3. #3
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    whatever you do you need to work the following words into the it

    turgid
    specified antomic area
    areola

    Maybe get him a blow up doll?
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  4. #4
    Cyburbian el Guapo's avatar
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    Get a copy of the 2005 Pamela Lee Roast on Comedy Central and remove all the boob jokes. Write down all the jokes that are left. Should work well for a lawyer.

  5. #5
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    another word to thow in their, that is even funnier in this context

    conslutant
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  6. #6
    Cyburbian Plannibelle's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by donk
    whatever you do you need to work the following words into the it

    turgid
    specified antomic area
    areola

    Maybe get him a blow up doll?
    He is a serious old guy so we have to keep it funny and, well not clean, but not really perverted. The blow up doll I think wouldnt work.This attorney represents those people, however, I don't think he isnt one those people, LOL.

    I think I can work in some words in a speech...

    "...and he would gaze upon his legal briefs with an eye towards turgid sun" er, something like that.

  7. #7
    Cyburbian Tide's avatar
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    Whatever you do just make sure you "spring" it on him.


    *I thought it was funny, sinks back in chair*


    I got it, get him a bag full of dollar bills all taped end to end in a string like 50 long. Stick one out so he keeps pulling out the string of dollars.
    Last edited by Tide; 04 Apr 2006 at 1:06 PM.
    @GigCityPlanner

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Watch old episodes of Night Court and pull filthy but tastefully done ideas from that show. My kids are old enough now to get some of the jokes that used to go completely over their head. They keep commenting on how really dirty the show was but in a way you had to be In The Know to get the raunchy remarks. I think an older, kind of stuffy person would appreciate that type of raunchy humor better than the potty-mouthed raunchy humor that is common today. (Dan Fielding was a total pervert but you can watch the show with kids because of how that is handled.)


    EDIT: I think one advantage is that people who are inclined to be offended may just not Get It.

  9. #9
    Cyburbian safege's avatar
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    Is it true that when zoning gave you the red light, you thought you had won?

    You got the job when they found out that your favorite song was "I will survive".

    Cutting the ribbon on this job was more fun.

    When he hears what he thinks is "Silicone Valley", he gets confused.
    Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.
    -Larry Wall

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Off-topic:
    Quote Originally posted by safege
    When he hears what he thinks is "Silicone Valley", he gets confused.
    Just in case you didn't know, there really is a place referred to as "Silicone Valley": the Pron Film district, not too far from Hollywood. (We did a discussion piece of this in my Economic Geography class -- how competitors in an industry will agglomerate to take advantage economic efficiencies..yadda yadda. Y'all know the rest.)

  11. #11
    Cyburbian safege's avatar
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    That's what happens when you just make them up.
    Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.
    -Larry Wall

  12. #12
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by safege
    That's what happens when you just make them up.
    Oh, I imagine most people don't know that. It has potential as a joke. Just maybe needs a little polish.

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