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Thread: The Onion harshes on Detroit

  1. #1
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
    May 2003
    City of Low Low Wages!

    The Onion harshes on Detroit



    DETROIT—Detroit, a former industrial metropolis in southeastern Michigan with a population of just under 1 million, was sold at auction Tuesday to bulk scrap dealers and smelting foundries across the United States.


    The decision to demolish and cull Detroit for scrap was approved last month by a 6-3 City Council vote after a cost-benefit analysis revealed that, as a functioning urban area, it held a negative cash value.


    Ranneke acquired several Detroit commercial districts and the steel-and-glass 1970s-era Renaissance Center for $4,000.

    "I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus."
    I found this hilarious, of course, but I'm sure Detroit Planner is fuming.

    On a more serious note though, as I understand it's getting pretty fashionable in boom cities with little history of their own in the south and on the west coast to buy facade elements from demolished midwestern and eastern buildings to decorate their trash.

  2. #2
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
    Mar 2004
    Where the weak are killed and eaten.
    Nah par for the course, the Onion beats on Detroit to kid itself into thinking that Madison WI is some sort of utopia. Ann Arbor does the same thing, dammed fake liberals.

    I do like the Ford sign photoshopped into the trash heap. I can't tell whether they photoshopped the deconstruction of the African American Museum, but that appears to be the site of the $300k + condos as infil among old mansions in Brush Park, and is definitely not located in the Cultural Center.

    There was a Chicago developer that put some stolen ornmentation (Lions) from Detroit's Lee Plaza on the side of his Townhouses, those were confiscated back by the City and the developer was sued.

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