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Thread: The absolutely positively worstest of the worst lyrics

  1. #1
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    The absolutely positively worstest of the worst lyrics

    The lead singer for LFO died today. He wrote such amazing lyrics as...

    "[Chorus:]
    New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
    Chinese food makes me sick.
    And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
    I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
    I'd take her if I had one wish,
    But she's been gone since that summer..
    Since that summer

    [Verse 1:]
    Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
    Met you one summer and it all began
    You're the best girl that I ever did see,
    The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
    When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
    Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
    Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
    Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
    Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
    Left one day and never came back
    Stayed all summer then went back home,
    Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
    Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
    Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
    When I met you I said my name was Rich
    You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch"
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  2. #2
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hink_Planner View post
    The lead singer for LFO died today. He wrote such amazing lyrics as...
    That really is....amazing. Yes, amazing is I think the most suitable word. Amazing.

  3. #3
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    That really is....amazing. Yes, amazing is I think the most suitable word. Amazing.
    No, I think it's ironic. btrage, don't you think that it's ironic?
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  4. #4
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    No, I think it's ironic. btrage, don't you think that it's ironic?
    The most despicable use of "ironic" This song.

    Decent song for a Canadian chick though.

    I hate when people vote in a poll and then don't post. I get excited to read, and then I'm disappointed.
    Last edited by btrage; 09 Sep 2010 at 4:11 PM.
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  5. #5
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    That really is....amazing. Yes, amazing is I think the most suitable word. Amazing.
    It was catchy. I remember that. I think that my two year old could of written it though. Alright what rhymes with speaking? Alex P Keaton!!
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  6. #6
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hink_Planner View post
    It was catchy. I remember that. I think that my two year old could of written it though. Alright what rhymes with speaking? Alex P Keaton!!
    We haven't mentioned his other brilliant lyrics "Shooby-doo-wop and Scooby Snacks, I met a fly girl - now I can't relax." You want to hate it, but it's so damn catchy....

    Same with Alanis, btrage. You're right, was ANYTHING in that song "ironic"?
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  7. #7
    Cyburbian TexanOkie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    The most despicable use of "ironic" This song.
    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Same with Alanis, btrage. You're right, was ANYTHING in that song "ironic"?
    Don't forget comedian Ed Byrne's classic monologue about that song (complete with reference to "town planners"): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT1TVSTkAXg

  8. #8
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by TexanOkie View post
    Don't forget comedian Ed Byrne's classic monologue about that song (complete with reference to "town planners"): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT1TVSTkAXg
    Good stuff. I had not seen this before. Thanks TexOk!
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  9. #9
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    REM has some pretty bad lyrics IMO. They may have some sort of meaning to the guy that penned them, but since we seldom know what the hell they're singing about most of their songs come off as sequences of random phrases.

    But here's my real heresy for the day. Okay we all know and love Queen's Bohemian Rhaspody, beautifully complex vocal harmonies, awesome guitar riffs, deft touches with the changing tempos and musical styles....but WTF is up with the lyrics?

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    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Hanson a la MMMbop
    Owl City...anything. Dude is straight up weird.
    Chumbawumba's Tubthumping
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  11. #11
    Cyburbian stroskey's avatar
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    c'mon, Owl City has some good lyrics.

    How about in Eminem's new song... "I saw you leaving through the window so I guess that's why they call it window pain"
    I burned down the church to atone for my transgressions.

  12. #12
    OH....IO Hink's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by stroskey View post
    c'mon, Owl City has some good lyrics.

    How about in Eminem's new song... "I saw you leaving through the window so I guess that's why they call it window pain"
    I can't argue for Owl City's lyrics, but it is catchy. That Eminem song is messed up if you listen to what it is about. Basically burning down a house after he ties up Rhianna inside. Kinda messed up.
    A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams

  13. #13
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by stroskey View post
    How about in Eminem's new song... "I saw you leaving through the window so I guess that's why they call it window pain"
    I find that about on par with many 'country' song lyrics; lots of songs designed around a pun or unsophisticated word play (....she got the gold mine and I got the shaft...etc.)

    Last time we discussed stupid lyrics a number of folks brought up examples of nonsense syllables (mmm bop; bop shoo bop shoo bop rama lama ding dong; dooby dooby doooo....etc.). In a way this is more acceptable in my view, as the songwriters haven't really made any pretence towards suggesting there was any intended meaning - they aren't even words really. In other words, the vocals were simply intended to serve as another instrument if you will.

  14. #14
    Cyburbian fringe's avatar
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    "Someone left the cake out in the rain...etc, etc."

    Pew stinko.

  15. #15
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    I had never heard of that song or the band, but the song in the first post of this thread is quite possibly the worst lyrics ever
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    But here's my real heresy for the day. Okay we all know and love Queen's Bohemian Rhaspody, beautifully complex vocal harmonies, awesome guitar riffs, deft touches with the changing tempos and musical styles....but WTF is up with the lyrics?
    Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening... C'mon, that's tight! Plus, what other band can effectively use a word like "Magnifico"? You gotta love Freddy Mercury. Understand him? Not in a million years, but love him - yep.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  17. #17
    Cyburbian imaplanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by ursus View post
    Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening... C'mon, that's tight! Plus, what other band can effectively use a word like "Magnifico"? You gotta love Freddy Mercury. Understand him? Not in a million years, but love him - yep.
    I agree. Those lyrics are pretty awesome.
    Children in the back seat can cause accidents - and vice versa.

  18. #18
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
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    I'm going to eat Tapas tonight.
    Doo dah. Doo dah.

    I'm going to eat carbs for spite,
    Oh, doo dah day

  19. #19
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by dandy_warhol View post
    I'm going to eat Tapas tonight.
    Doo dah. Doo dah.

    I'm going to eat carbs for spite,
    Oh, doo dah day
    Moderator note:
    I'm sorry, but given the timing, this post simply had to be moved. I had no choice you understand.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian illinoisplanner's avatar
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    Some of Nirvana's lyrics are pretty weird and nonsensical. Take for instance their most famous song, "Smells Like Teen Spirit":

    Here we are now, entertain us
    I feel stupid and contagious
    Here we are now, entertain us
    A mullato, an albino
    A mosquito, my libido
    A denial
    "Life's a journey, not a destination"
    -Steven Tyler

  21. #21
    Cyburbian ursus's avatar
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    From Sweet Child of Mine:

    "Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place,
    where as a child I'd hide..."

    How freakin' weird was that guys childhood?

    Really all Axel Rose's lyrics are stupid and inane - for example: "Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty"...can you really call yourself a songwriter if that's the best you've got? I vote no.
    "...I would never try to tick Hink off. He kinda intimidates me. He's quite butch, you know." - Maister

  22. #22
    Cyburbian mike gurnee's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by fringe View post
    "Someone left the cake out in the rain...etc, etc."

    Pew stinko.
    One has to be in the right mood for that one.

  23. #23
    Cyburbian Mud Princess's avatar
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    This one just came up on my RealPlayer (oh no, not the extended mix version! ):

    I've got the brain, you've got the looks /
    Let's make lots of money /
    You've got the brawn, I've got the brain /
    Let's make lots of money...

  24. #24
    Cyburbian Rygor's avatar
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    How 'bout this gem from 1938's "Flat Foot Floogie":

    "Oh, the flat foot floogie with a floy, floy,
    Flat foot floogie with a floy, floy,
    Flat foot floogie with a floy, floy,
    Floy doy, floy doy, floy doy."

    It just shows that there are inane song lyrics no matter what the generation.
    "When life gives you lemons, just say 'No thanks'." - Henry Rollins

  25. #25
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    But here's my real heresy for the day. Okay we all know and love Queen's Bohemian Rhaspody, beautifully complex vocal harmonies, awesome guitar riffs, deft touches with the changing tempos and musical styles....but WTF is up with the lyrics?
    Okay, I want to retract this statement. I just read the lyrics in whole, and while I see they don't make a great deal of sense, at least they don't belong in the Dumbest of the Dumb category.

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