The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

[btrage]

Men love it when women approach them. Men who don't like confident women are insecure themselves.

That being said, our society still has a problem seeing women as aggressive, sexual beings. Many men see aggresive women as simply easy. That's unfortunate and a result of the double standard we have. A man who sleeps with many women is a hero, while a woman who sleeps with many men is a whore.

My response to that is.."If you really love her, it doesn't matter who she's slept with before, just be happy she's sleeping with you now."

(as long as she doesn't have an STD or is cheating )

[Michele Zone]

Men love it when women approach them. Men who don't like confident women are insecure themselves.

Looking back on some of my flops, I have concluded it wasn't "me" so much as circumstances beyond my control. Yeah, That's it.






Now I am waiting to see if I have better success in the future, thus proving my hypothesis. Or perhaps I'll flop again, thus proving I am full of crap and really do have the makings of a psycho stalker.

[Zoning Goddess]

Looking back on some of my flops, I have concluded it wasn't "me" so much as circumstances beyond my control. Yeah, That's it.

I always was of the opinion that my "flops" were due more to not knowing enough about the guy before we went out, then we discovered we were totally not suited. At least if you know someone, or know a bit about them, beforehand, you can avoid some real disasters. On the other hand, had a few blind dates in my '20's that worked out wonderfully.

[LorenzoRoyal]

It makes things more interesting when the woman asks the man out. I'd have no problem with a woman asking me out. It's crazy out there dating and I have tendencies to freeze up when asking a female out. They say lack of confidence kills, but sometimes you don't know what you're doing when you jump into the dating pool.

[natski]

It makes things more interesting when the woman asks the man out.

How does it? Ok yeah some guys are shy, but i think it should work both ways.

[imaplanner]

How does it? Ok yeah some guys are shy, but i think it should work both ways.

I think maybe he meant to say exciting as opposed to interesting.

I dunno.

[natski]

I think maybe he meant to say exciting as opposed to interesting.

I dunno.

Exciting for who?! I dunno either

[Michele Zone]

On second thought, please ignore the last post. If a mod would be so kind as to delete it that might simplify matters. I am concerned that my previous "clarification" will only deepen the problem. Let me state more clearly I was only attempting to get the conversation rolling, not soliciting "advice". While I appreciate that everyone here has good intentions, I feel that those good intentions are paving a road to hell in that I do not appreciate the portrait of myself which is emerging from this converstion. It is quite unflattering and makes me feel like I am still being haunted by the ghost of "Shopping For REAL Women".

Let's see if we can set the record straight:
A) If you would like to reply to my questions, please give personal anecdotes about your own experiences with a situation where the woman was the initiator. Please refrain from giving me advice. I don't need it. There is no shortage of men who would like to stand next to my fire.

B) There have been 2 or 3 misunderstandings in my life where I fell on my face Big Time. In some ways, those were mortifying experiences which still bother me. In other ways, they are rather humorous. I have mostly been poking fun at them, which seems to have been largely misinterpreted as me having some Big Problem.

C) I would also love it if other directions of inquiry were added so as to take the focus off this misperception that I desperately need dating advice. I don't date. I don't plan on dating. It has never prevented me from enjoying the company of men and working out arrangements which meet my emotional needs.

Thank you.

[natski]

Stress less MZ!!!

Ok i thought i would post this here instead of my entertaining htg thread...

Say you have known someone for a period of time (i.e 4 years) and they has previously shown they are interested in you, but had never done anything about it, and just one day come out of the wood work and tell you their feelings, what should you do?

Do you go on a date, and just give it a go? Do you turn around and say, well you had 4 years- its too late?

[kjel]

Stress less MZ!!!

Ok i thought i would post this here instead of my entertaining htg thread...

Say you have known someone for a period of time (i.e 4 years) and they has previously shown they are interested in you, but had never done anything about it, and just one day come out of the wood work and tell you their feelings, what should you do?

Do you go on a date, and just give it a go? Do you turn around and say, well you had 4 years- its too late?

Give it a go! The worse thing that can happen is nothing!

[Dan]

A question to women out there:

In the past month, I've been on two different dates with two different women where she gets a phone call, and ... lo and behold, the babysitter says the kid is acting up, and wants her mommy. We settle up the tab, and she leaves, usually never to be seen again.

I think it's all an act. A woman gets a friend to call her about an hour or so into the date. If it's going well, she'll pick up the phone, say she's okay, and hang up. If she thinks it's the date from hell (which now means anything less than sparks a'flyin'), she'll make up a story about the kid, using that as an excuse to escape.

So, is the "kid acting up" story a common ploy to get out of a date?

[Tranplanner]

A question to women out there:

In the past month, I've been on two different dates with two different women where she gets a phone call, and ... lo and behold, the babysitter says the kid is acting up, and wants her mommy. We settle up the tab, and she leaves, usually never to be seen again.

I think it's all an act. A woman gets a friend to call her about an hour or so into the date. If it's going well, she'll pick up the phone, say she's okay, and hang up. If she thinks it's the date from hell, she'll amke up a story about the kid, anduse that as an excuse to escape.

So, is the "kid acting up" story a common ploy to get out of a date?

Maybe your dates are clients? Pulse24 story

I would say that if this is happens, and then they never call you again, you've been fed a line. If they were still interested, I would think they would call you to set up another date or just talk. Sorry.

[nerudite]

Do you go on a date, and just give it a go? Do you turn around and say, well you had 4 years- its too late?

Depends if you think you'd like them in that way, or if you want to stick to your original friendship. they not have been in the right place in their life for the past four years, so even if they liked you, they didn't want to waste your time. I had a good friend for many years, and we never pursued anything... but then one day it just clicked. Somehow, we had both changed but in a way that made us more compatible, when years before that we probably would have been a bad couple. It didn't last too long, and we're back to the 'just friends' thing... but it was worth a shot at the time.

[kjel]

A question to women out there:

In the past month, I've been on two different dates with two different women where she gets a phone call, and ... lo and behold, the babysitter says the kid is acting up, and wants her mommy. We settle up the tab, and she leaves, usually never to be seen again.

I think it's all an act. A woman gets a friend to call her about an hour or so into the date. If it's going well, she'll pick up the phone, say she's okay, and hang up. If she thinks it's the date from hell (which now means anything less than sparks a'flyin'), she'll make up a story about the kid, using that as an excuse to escape.

So, is the "kid acting up" story a common ploy to get out of a date?

This reminds me of the new cell phone commercial where the guy goes to the restroom and the lady conference calls her friends asking them how to ditch the date (the date was kinda hideous). It's pretty safe to say that if they haven't called you again that it was just a ruse. Sorry....I guess I have better manners than that. I would at least stick out the date and tell you later that you were nice but nothing clicked.

As for dating...hmm well I guess that I choose not to date due to some extreme time constraints on my schedule at the moment. I've never really had a problem with it in the past. I guess that I have learned to just be myself with people and not take it personally if someone doesn't want to go out with me. Do I pick men up? lol not quite, but I am not afraid to approach a man and most men are intrigued if a woman approaches them, not to mention relieved.

[Bear Up North]

I hesitated for a few days while thinking about this thread and my probable comments. What the heck.....

This Bear has been on quite a few dates. I am just an average guy yet many of those dates turned out very well. Very well could mean having a good friend to hang with for awhile, very well could mean a nice sexual relationship, very well could (and did) lead to marriage(s).

I have been picked-up a few times and some of those events turned out super and some left me wanting to run down the street screaming. It also seems that when I was between relationships (or between marriages) dating was tougher. Perhaps I came across as desperate. (EDIT THIS PARAGRAPH: This sounds like my dating is just fine when I am married or in a relationship. No, no.....I meant dating was easier when I was younger.....No, no.....ahhhhh....what the heck do I mean? Ahhhhhh.......)

When Katie and I met I was a couple years out of a bad marriage, with a woman who liked other men a bit too-too much. The first few dates with Katie were wonderful.....the kind of romantic dates that we all read about and watch in the movies. Eleven years later we still have a great relationship and I am convinced that our "great dates" taught us enough about each other to justify the plunge.

Bear

[natski]

I mentioned the other day that a long time friend came out of the woodwork and told me they had feelings etc etc.

Well i decided to meet up with him for lunch the other day, and i thought it went well. I mean i guess i was slightly freaked out by how much this guy liked me, well apparently did anyway.

But today a get a phone msg saying that he didnt want a relationship. So i am like ok why and he really didnt give me one. I didnt mention before, but this guy had previously chased after me, but screwed me round a bit, and gave up trying. So Monday i got a huge apology over it all and he asked for a chance to redeem himself and today i get a no sorry... again!

I give up, i must attract idiots...

So the dating, or potential dating continues...

[Tranplanner]

So the dating, or potential dating continues...

Bad news for you, great news for those of us following your exploits!

[Michele Zone]

I give up, i must attract idiots...

So the dating, or potential dating continues...

People can have internal conflicts and not really know what they want. Some folks are commitment-phobic. And the fantasy of what he thinks a relationship with you might be like may die rapidly in the face of reality.

Sorry you feel burned...or whatever.

[donk]

I was at a book reading last night and a cute emo girl sat next to me, we chatted for awhile, until the start, and chatted in line for signings. But I lacked the nerve/confidence to ask for her number. Looking back, I think she would have given it to me, oops.

[natski]

I was at a book reading last night and a cute emo girl sat next to me, we chatted for awhile, until the start, and chatted in line for signings. But I lacked the nerve/confidence to ask for her number. Looking back, I think she would have given it to me, oops.

Have i taught you nothing?!!!!

[LorenzoRoyal]

I was at a book reading last night and a cute emo girl sat next to me, we chatted for awhile, until the start, and chatted in line for signings. But I lacked the nerve/confidence to ask for her number. Looking back, I think she would have given it to me, oops.

I can see that happening. They say "just go for it" but I end up half-mumbling in the same situation.

[Michele Zone]

I can see that happening. They say "just go for it" but I end up half-mumbling in the same situation.

New question to discuss: What is it about the prospect of emotional/romantic rejection that makes normally intelligent, articulate people into utter ninnies? -- tongue-tied, bumbling, mumbling and so forth. At such times, they typically look (or feel) like one of the following:



Discuss.

[LorenzoRoyal]

Sometimes you get really worked up to ask someone out. Ask that person, and that person says no. On this occasion a strong--not a mumbling--voice is used. In other words, they showed some confidence. Some people can move on from this rejection, but it crushes others.

[Zoning Goddess]

What is it about the prospect of emotional/romantic rejection

Bill Engvall says "There's your sign!".

I'd say the rejection is pretty much it.

[Mastiff]

I was at a book reading last night and a cute emo girl sat next to me, we chatted for awhile, until the start, and chatted in line for signings. But I lacked the nerve/confidence to ask for her number. Looking back, I think she would have given it to me, oops.

Use this one... "Hmmm... I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?"