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Thread: The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

  1. #476
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SuperPenguin View post
    Open yourself up to the psychotic ladies, and you'll have no problem! Okay, well, no problem finding a date. The problems occur after that.
    NO psychotic women. And, before I forget, an IQ above 100 would be nice. Whenever I go to the local dog park, I always attract the attention of this obese retarded woman who for some reason makes the fenced-in area her second home. No, none of the other single women there will so much as look at me, but Miss 350 Pound Short Bus Special follows me like one of my pooches. Story of my f*****g life.

    I swear, the local dog park is perhaps the only one where, if you visit with two cute-as-hell Porties, nobody gives a shit. Walk in with a couple of brown-n'-tan half-Pit-Bull/Chow/Rottweiler half-Lab/Beagle/Golden specials, though, and you're as good as gold. Reverse dog snobbery - "Why did you get your dogs from a breeder, when there's thousands of homeless pets that are looking for a good home?" Sigh. I'll never win.

  2. #477
    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    NO psychotic women. And, before I forget, an IQ above 100 would be nice. Whenever I go to the local dog park, I always attract the attention of this obese retarded woman who for some reason makes the fenced-in area her second home. No, none of the other single women there will so much as look at me, but Miss 350 Pound Short Bus Special follows me like one of my pooches. Story of my f*****g life.
    I'm trying to feel sympathetic. Really. I am. Must... not... laugh...

    Nah, sorry, can't do it. From the bottom of my heart, however, I would like to thank you for attracting such fine, upstanding prospects. It keeps them away from me!

  3. #478
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    Some men suck . That's all I'm gonna say.....time for a very needed Guiness.
    You are telling me!

    All i can say is i am supposed to be on a date tonight- if i get stood up one more time this guy is history!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  4. #479
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    NO psychotic women. And, before I forget, an IQ above 100 would be nice. Whenever I go to the local dog park, I always attract the attention of this obese retarded woman who for some reason makes the fenced-in area her second home. No, none of the other single women there will so much as look at me, but Miss 350 Pound Short Bus Special follows me like one of my pooches. Story of my f*****g life.
    Well I attract the attention of the non-ambitious, stuck in a rut, never had an inspirational thought to do something different kinda of guys. They haven't been of the short bus variety though so I guess I should feel lucky.

    Quote Originally posted by natski View post
    You are telling me!

    All i can say is i am supposed to be on a date tonight- if i get stood up one more time this guy is history!
    Yep...that's what happened tonight, some people really have no courtesy I tell you. The beer and dinner with my daughter was great though!
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  5. #480
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    Yep...that's what happened tonight, some people really have no courtesy I tell you. The beer and dinner with my daughter was great though!
    Im sick of rude, uncaring people. I like people to be straight up and honest with me- if you cant make a date, ring me and apologise, then line up another day.

    This boy is on thin ice i swear- and i know that either work will call him up or something will happen and he will cancel again today- i am wondering why i bother!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  6. #481
    Cyburbian Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    "Stop looking so hard. It'll come to you when you least expect." Nope. I've tried that, too, living my life and not looking. Guess what happens? I go dateless for a year.
    Yoo hoo, I did the "not looking" thing for 10 years. Stay out there, don't freak, it'll happen. The best advice my mom gave me was to not waste time on dates with someone who didn't attract me from the start. And I don't mean just physical, there can be a definite emotional/intellectual attraction. If you're not truly feeling it, don't expect the women to do so, either. It's like pron (or art), ya' know it when you see it. (I thought I was going to be a total loser/alone for the rest of my life for so many years, and yes, it's depressing as all get out, but it can change soooo fast...)

  7. #482
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    Some men suck . That's all I'm gonna say.....time for a very needed Guiness.
    Yah, right there with you on that. I learned from this weekend that a fifth of captain, 2 liter of diet coke and no dinner does not make for a good decisions. Not any good bad decisions , but inappropriate voicemails, text messages, and myspace comments....

    Not so sure how this works, but someone says they care about me, calls me at least twice a day, says they miss me when I'm not around, make plans to see me, but they don't want a relationship?! WTF is that supposed to mean?

  8. #483
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    Yah, right there with you on that. I learned from this weekend that a fifth of captain, 2 liter of diet coke and no dinner does not make for a good decisions. Not any good bad decisions , but inappropriate voicemails, text messages, and myspace comments....
    I wouldn't think that it would make for some of the brightest decision making ever. Thankfully I don't (and can't) drink like that which probably saves me from some embarrassment.

    Not so sure how this works, but someone says they care about me, calls me at least twice a day, says they miss me when I'm not around, make plans to see me, but they don't want a relationship?! WTF is that supposed to mean?
    Yeah...I have one of those too. Not sure what to make of it though.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  9. #484
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    Not so sure how this works, but someone says they care about me, calls me at least twice a day, says they miss me when I'm not around, make plans to see me, but they don't want a relationship?! WTF is that supposed to mean?
    Gee where have i heard that before.... Currently in that position at the moment- have just given up any hope anything will happen with that relationship- as far as im concerned that person is just full of s**t. Spent a lot of time trying to find out the reasons behind the non relationship position, but to no avail- tried my best, game over.
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  10. #485
    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    Not so sure how this works, but someone says they care about me, calls me at least twice a day, says they miss me when I'm not around, make plans to see me, but they don't want a relationship?! WTF is that supposed to mean?
    I'm guessing it means they like you, but they don't want a relationship?

    Maybe I'm just a simpleton, but I know a few people where our relationship is like that. My friend Sam is a good example. I care about her very much, I enjoy her company, no I don't call her every day, but I do look forward to seeing her. I just know that we're probably not compatible in terms of a romantic relationship.

    Then there are people I love dearly, like sisters. And it's probably for that very reason that I don't want a relationship with them. It would be too weird. (My relationship with Sam isn't like that, however. I know, based on the impure thoughts I occasionally find myself thinking . It's just that we're not compatible romantically.)

  11. #486
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Boy o was lucky- didnt get stood up- we had dinner and it was a real nice date. Hopefully there will be more to follow!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  12. #487
         
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    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    Yah, right there with you on that. I learned from this weekend that a fifth of captain, 2 liter of diet coke and no dinner does not make for a good decisions. Not any good bad decisions , but inappropriate voicemails, text messages, and myspace comments....

    Not so sure how this works, but someone says they care about me, calls me at least twice a day, says they miss me when I'm not around, make plans to see me, but they don't want a relationship?! WTF is that supposed to mean?
    Wow sounds like my weekend

    And call the guy on it and watch what happens!! The guy I have been seeing/talking to (whatever its called) said he didn't want a relationship the first night I met him...made a late night drunken call to him....he's STILL mad about it...."I only call when I have been drinking, I don't want to see him any other time, blah, blah, blah"...WHATEVER!! He's the one that said he didn't want a relationship...Make up your minds guys OR if you happen to change your mind and DO want more LET US KNOW....ghughguhggu . Now I have hurt this guys feelings, provoked him to say something very mean and needless to say I didn't see him all weekend.

  13. #488
    So that explains it all. All the nice lady-folk are involved with moronic idiot men, leaving us nice guys out in the cold.

    Maybe I need to get myself covered up in tattoos, drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney, listen to rap music, put 22 inch rims with spinners on my car, and act all sorts of crude and rude. That seems to work for a lot of guys.

  14. #489
    Cyburbian Budgie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SuperPenguin View post
    So that explains it all. All the nice lady-folk are involved with moronic idiot men, leaving us nice guys out in the cold.

    Maybe I need to get myself covered up in tattoos, drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney, listen to rap music, put 22 inch rims with spinners on my car, and act all sorts of crude and rude. That seems to work for a lot of guys.
    I share your frustration and believe you observation to be correct. Ladies like the "dangerous" man and then bitch about it when they get burned. Typically the nice guy is the one who offers a shoulder and comforts the lady until her next infactuation with the next prototypical loser. And so the dance continues.....
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  15. #490
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    Not so sure how this works, but someone says they care about me, calls me at least twice a day, says they miss me when I'm not around, make plans to see me, but they don't want a relationship?! WTF is that supposed to mean?
    From a guys perspective, my interpretation of what this means........He really does like you and wants to have sex with you, but doesn't want a relationship.

  16. #491
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    Quote Originally posted by SuperPenguin View post
    So that explains it all. .... leaving us nice guys out in the cold.
    Quote Originally posted by Budgie View post
    I share your frustration and believe you observation to be correct. ... Typically the nice guy is the one who offers a shoulder and comforts the lady until her next infactuation with the next prototypical loser. And so the dance continues.....
    I totally agree.

  17. #492
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    From a guys perspective, my interpretation of what this means........He really does like you and wants to have sex with you, but doesn't want a relationship.
    So why can't they just SAY that!
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  18. #493
    Cyburbian statler's avatar
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    This might be a good time to introduce the 'Ladder Theory' (NSFW? -slight language issues).
    It's very popular among some friends who have been unsuccessful in love.
    It's basically a tongue-in-cheek, pseudo-academic look at some of the issues that have been raised here.
    Fair warning, it is written from a male P.O.V. and may be construed as a bit misogynistic.

    BTW:

    This is one of my favorite threads on the whole site.
    "So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams." -Gaiman
    ArchBoston

  19. #494
         
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    So why can't they just SAY that!
    Well, I pretty much DID say that and HE got mad...I think men often SAY they don't want a relationship but they end up wanting one. I guess men think if they actually just call it a "booty call"; "friend with benefits", a woman is going to get mad. But let a woman make a "booty call", egos gets bruised....ghughgughu I am going back to not dating, its WAY too much stress on me.

  20. #495
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    So why can't they just SAY that!
    Because they don't want to be thought of as a slut or jerk. I mean, it's pretty hard to say, "I really like you as a person, but all I really want right now is sex".

    Unfortunately, I think it's up to the woman in this case to pressure the man into telling her what he wants, but do so in a way that the guy knows he can be honest without coming across as a player.

    Disclaimer: I am a married male who hasn't been on a date as a single male since 2000.

    Quote Originally posted by Jaxspra View post
    Well, I pretty much DID say that and HE got mad...I think men often SAY they don't want a relationship but they end up wanting one. I guess men think if they actually just call it a "booty call"; "friend with benefits", a woman is going to get mad. But let a woman make a "booty call", egos gets bruised....ghughgughu I am going back to not dating, its WAY too much stress on me.
    There are definitely multiple double standards in situations such as these.
    Last edited by Maister; 16 Jul 2007 at 11:17 AM.

  21. #496
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    So why can't they just SAY that!
    Because the last time I checked, it would be considered extremely crass to be blunt about it, so the guy runs the risk of being a pig for being too forward.

    Quote Originally posted by Jaxspra View post
    Well, I pretty much DID say that and HE got mad...I think men often SAY they don't want a relationship but they end up wanting one. I guess men think if they actually just call it a "booty call"; "friend with benefits", a woman is going to get mad. But let a woman make a "booty call", egos gets bruised....ghughgughu I am going back to not dating, its WAY too much stress on me.
    OTOH, perhaps this is an out dated notion from before the sexual revolution. Perhaps men and women should be equally forward about one's intent. Jaxspra used the "friend with benefits" tagline. I'm still trying to figure this out in my mind. Once again, I'm old fashion in that I believe that an emotional connection should be formed before you start hitting it. Yes, this is an outdated notion that I have a hard time getting rid of.
    "And all this terrible change had come about because he had ceased to believe himself and had taken to believing others. " - Leo Tolstoy

  22. #497
    Quote Originally posted by Budgie View post
    Once again, I'm old fashion in that I believe that an emotional connection should be formed before you start hitting it. Yes, this is an outdated notion that I have a hard time getting rid of.
    Absolutely. If I've got an itch to scratch, I can take care of that on my own, without running the risk of getting a baby, child support payments, or a nasty rash out of it all.

    I believe that canoodling is an expression of love. I believe in monogamy. I tried the "friends with benefits" thing once, and it basically was the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. I'm not doing it again. It just muddles things up, especially when you have a preexisting relationship.

    Sam, for example, is a great gal and as I've said NUMEROUS times I'm sure, I care about her dearly and probably love her like a sister. While it would probably be joyously fun to canoodle with her, I can't risk destroying what we have, when I know the canoodling wasn't based around love, and wouldn't lead to a relationship.

    I'm not a slab of meat, I don't want to be treated like one, and I wouldn't treat anyone I care about like one either.

    (Again, I may be a blathering idiot and a fool, but at least I'm a blathering idiot and a fool with principles!)

  23. #498
         
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    Budgie and SP you guys are probably correct and I crossed a line but had it been HIM that did it, this stupid tension would not be going on between us. And again there is the lcak of communication (fault on both our ends).
    I do believe in monogamy, when I am in a relationship, and casual sex is not a relationship. Its not old fashioned to believe thats the way it should be, its just an opinion and I have several friends that believe the same thing. I personally am just uncapable of being in a relationship (now or ever, I am not sure) so this is as close as I can get in my case. Problem is, this time it hurt someone (besides me) and I feel bad and am not sure how to fix it.
    No guys are not slabs of meat but please don't forget there are plenty out there that act like they are and when a nice one comes along, unfortunately the jerks have already wired us this way.

  24. #499
    I just never felt comfortable enough with casual canoodling to know what to do. I mean, what do you say afterwards? "Thanks?" "See you later?" "Can I get a receipt, please?"

    And let's face it, I'm not exactly the most attractive ornament on the Christmas tree. I've never had an issue with the lady-folks falling over me. I mean, of all the dates and such I've been on, I've only had two long-term relationships. And one of them was with a blind gal.

    I'd like to say that communication can fix things, but I can't even come out and tell Sam exactly how I feel about her. So, basically, taking relationship advice from me is probably a bad idea.

  25. #500
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    From a guys perspective, my interpretation of what this means........He really does like you and wants to have sex with you, but doesn't want a relationship.
    We were already in a relationship - going out for awhile (which, infer what you will by reading between the lines). So basically he says that he needs to sort out his feelings and right now just wants to be friends, but that he cares deeply, misses me, etc. Still calls numerous times a day and makes plans to see me.

    Confusing - he wants to be with me, but yet he doesn't? I don't get it? After dumping me (my wording not his) there is no way he will get the milk for free, so I tend to think that he isn't just trying to get laid. In any event, I really just need to take it for what it is worth - he doesn't know what he wants. In reality I should just stop talking to him or seeing him until he gets his head our of his arse...If it doesn't happen, move on....

    Sorry Jax, that sucks. There is a double standard though. Everyone needs to just follow the whole 'say what you mean, and mean what you say' motto. I agree that casual sex is not a relationship, but it should only be acceptable when both people are on the same page. As for me, I believe in monogamy. I have a problem with sharing (hence divorcing my ex h) and it kind of grosses me out to think the person I am with is dipping his wick around town. I also wouldn't be doing that either.

    I did the whole bad guy thing, and not going back there....

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