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Thread: The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

  1. #51
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Seriously, who enjoys rejection- or the fear of getting rejected?

    I think its just a basic (and annoying at times) human reaction
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  2. #52
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Mastiff
    Use this one... "Hmmm... I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?"
    That's so lame *lol* Rates right up there with the man holding the door open to the Barnes & Noble who followed me in and said "Excuse me, would you be offended if I told you that I thought you are beautiful?"
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  3. #53
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Im heading into the city tonight- so i may have some interesting stories for the weekend for you all...
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  4. #54
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    No stories from my night out.
    Turned up to the bar to meet some friends and it was practically empty! Then a friend of mine's bf brought this exchange planner (from Holland) that works with him along. So i got the pleasure of talking to a hot holland planner. Apparently i have to take him to the Blue Mountains

    Sorry to dissapoint everyone- i will do better next time
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  5. #55
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by natski
    Seriously, who enjoys rejection- or the fear of getting rejected?

    I think its just a basic (and annoying at times) human reaction
    There are times when I am tongue-tied. I have been trying to figure out when/why -- what causes that in me, since it isn't like that all the time. Nor am I particularly shy. With thinking about it, I have concluded that I get "tongue-tied" where there is a history of misunderstandings and it has begun to feel like everything I say will be misinterpretted by X person, so "what's the point?" There are other times when I have a hard time talking about something, but often I am very casual about saying something and waiting to see how the person responds. Whether they react positively or negatively, the reaction itself is valuable information.

    My basic feeling is that, yeah, it sucks to be rejected but if you never let anyone know how you feel about them, how can you get the acceptance and closeness you want? If you make no attempt to tell them, how will they know how you feel? For me, I would rather know for sure they aren't attracted to me or don't want the same things I want so I can have closure and not waste a lot of emotional energy fantasizing about some fairy tale ending which has no hope of happening. And for me it has been a good experience in life -- not just romantically, but socially -- to have people tell me what they think of me or have me tell them what I think of them. Often, it doesn't lead to what I am looking/hoping for. But I don't feel imprisoned either behind a wall of silence. And most men are nice about saying "Oh, I'm flattered but I'm engaged" or whatever.

  6. #56
    Cyburbian
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    Bleh.... The thought that best describes my "dating" scene (or should I say lack of?) is "It's better to be alone than with bad company"

    I don't think that it's a crime to be alone, and anyways it's not that I don't have friends, but at least I preffer to have a lot of "Me" time available...

  7. #57
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    I havent had much "dating" updates of late- but alas today (well yesterday) something actually did happen.

    I think i got hit on by a guy at work- from my opinion, work relationships are a no go (due to the fact that i was in one and it ended so so badly). Now i could be completely wrong about the guy- so i will have to see what happens next time im in at work- but what is everyones opinion on workplace relationships?

    Oh and update on HTG- his sister is catching our train now- so i have lost my seat next to him!!!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  8. #58
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by natski
    Oh and update on HTG- his sister is catching our train now- so i have lost my seat next to him!!!
    [cue the cheesy soap opera muzak]
    And now for the continuing saga of Hot Train Guy....

    [/end cheesy muzak]





  9. #59
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    I guess if I described my recent dating adventures, ya'll would say "...there they go again with that Florida connection thing...." So, I won't. Seems like my life is nearly an open book here.
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  10. #60
    Cyburbian biscuit's avatar
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    An older, and sometimes wiser, friend of mine once said that being single and dating always sucks... until after you've been married a few years.

    Just something to ponder.

  11. #61
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by biscuit
    An older, and sometimes wiser, friend of mine once said that being single and dating always sucks... until after you've been married a few years.

    Just something to ponder.
    A wise friend indeed.
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  12. #62
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Not a date, but...

    Had a weird situation on Saturday. Got an email out of the blue from a guy I met 2 YEARS AGO, saying I had a made an impression on him and he'd heard I had "recently become unattached" and he would love to meet up! I remembered his name but could not remember anything about him? I'm not really interested in dating yet so was going to put him off, but a co-worker urged me to be kind, so i sent back an email saying I was not really looking to start anything new, but was planning to go hear our mutual friend play in his band on Sat night, so might see him there. So even though I wasn't interested, I suddenly found myself in a blind date type situation!! I went along and dragged my 3 flatmates with me, who all found the situation quite amusing. After the band packed up, our mutual friend came over with this guy and... oh dear. I stood up to shake his hand and I was easily a few centimetres taller, and he was so shy, and terrible at making conversation - he actually said something about how he once looked into selling encyclopedias! He was also about 20 years older than me!! I had already googled him and found he'd won lots of scientific awards. Accomplished in the laboratory, but not in social skills. It was very awkward. Some other friends turned up and this young guy jumped in between us and started chatting to me. Then we decided to leave and I said bye and poor Mr Scientist looked very sad.. "I might see you around some time?" he said, without much hope Felt bad but didn't want to encourage him and send mixed messages.

    Not looking forward to getting back into dating!

  13. #63
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Got chatted up today on my ride home from my mtb bike ride as a rode along the street. I passed this girl, looked back to make sure I was clear, blasted through a stop light (it was yellow). She caught up to me at the next red light and said hi and asked me some questions and made small talk, rode for about 10 minutes with her, then she turned off with a quick "bye" . Flirting is fun.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  14. #64
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNL

    Not looking forward to getting back into dating!
    I was under the impression you were attached JNL?

    Anyway sounds like an interesting (ok awkward) situation. Whatcha gonna do?!!!
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  15. #65
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by natski
    I was under the impression you were attached JNL?

    Anyway sounds like an interesting (ok awkward) situation. Whatcha gonna do?!!!
    I was... up until recently.

    Re the awkward situation... don't think I'll hear from him again. I'm kind of glad to have resolved it quickly, rather than have emails going backwards and forwards, without really knowing what he was like. I feel bad for him, but it's not really my problem. i don't think I was mean.

    Hey donk - nice one with the cycle-flirting

  16. #66
    Cyburbian njm's avatar
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    That's what is so nice about cycling/walking. You can actually interact with others on the street (novel idea, I know.) I s'pose preaching that here is really not required...

    Anyway. I have a bit of an interesting and completely relevant situation (that's been brewing for, oh, 3 years.) A former summer research intern (from a different school) from the summer after my 5th year at the U... we were friends for the entire summer, and only at the end of the summer did it become apparent that my interest in her would be returned... but she went back to her school for her last year. Halfway through that year she came to visit, there were many moments that were akward because we were, in my assessment, trying to avoid having feelings (because I was in Minnesota and she Virginia.) At the end of the trip she told me she was applying to Minnesota fro a masters. I had already applied to KTH (in Stockholm, Sweden) and was planning to go there. 18 months later I live in upstate NY, she's still in MN. I'll be in MN in two weeks, we've already set up an afternoon together that could easily be 'just friends' or a full-out date...

    I've never had a 'clear-cut' dating relationship. Ever. It must not fit my genetic disposition.
    What luck! A random assemblage of words never sounded less intelligent.

  17. #67
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake
    I've only been picked up once. But that was due to a Sadie Hawkins Day dance in high school, so I guess that doesn't count.
    Well, was he your type?
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  18. #68
    Cyburbian Hceux's avatar
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    Earlier today, I was standing at the bus stop at a busy corner, waiting for the next bus to come along. As I stood there, I saw a very odd thing that happened in front of my eyes.

    First, the traffic was coming to a stop because of a red light. I saw a man in a Pontiac Sunbird catching a woman's attention and prompting her to use her cell phone, which she was doing anyways.

    The woman in a Toyota Matrix pointed her cellphone towards him, trying to catch the guy's attention again.

    The man was slowing taking out his cell phone and his ear buds out of his jacket. He never bothered looking back at her.

    Soon, the lights turn green and there they went racing down the busy three-laned street.

    So, what was this that I saw? A new dating fad? Pointing cellphones at each other as a form of flirting?!

  19. #69
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Hceux
    So, what was this that I saw? A new dating fad? Pointing cellphones at each other as a form of flirting?!
    Sounds to me like they probably knew each other already.

  20. #70
    Gunfighter Mastiff's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek
    That's so lame *lol* Rates right up there with the man holding the door open to the Barnes & Noble who followed me in and said "Excuse me, would you be offended if I told you that I thought you are beautiful?"
    Lame can so work... But she has got to know it's lame on purpose.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
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    If you want to talk well then I'll relate
    If you don't so what cause you don't scare me

  21. #71
    Cyburbian JNL's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by JNL
    I stood up to shake his hand and I was easily a few centimetres taller, and he was so shy, and terrible at making conversation - he actually said something about how he once looked into selling encyclopedias! He was also about 20 years older than me!! I had already googled him and found he'd won lots of scientific awards. Accomplished in the laboratory, but not in social skills. It was very awkward.
    So the guy I mentioned above has sent me another email asking me out. I am so surprised!! There was no connection, no interest from me. So... how do I let him down easy? How do I write a nice email that says 'sorry not interested' in a clear but not too harsh way??

    Ha ha... I could send him a link to this thread!! Only joking.

  22. #72
    maudit anglais
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    Quote Originally posted by JNL
    So the guy I mentioned above has sent me another email asking me out. I am so surprised!! There was no connection, no interest from me. So... how do I let him down easy? How do I write a nice email that says 'sorry not interested' in a clear but not too harsh way??
    Well, you should let him know you're not interested and not drag it out. I've never been on this side of the equation - I was always the loser someone was trying to give the brush off A straight, but nice, "thanks but no thanks" was always preferable to the "maybe some other time".


    Could always say you have a new boyfriend - Stan, from Michigan

  23. #73
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Tranplanner
    "thanks but no thanks" was always preferable to the "maybe some other time".

    or lets just be friends.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  24. #74
         
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    I am joining the "man hater" club....

    Tired, tired of guys, tired of trying to meet one, tired of them being wierd once I do, just plain old tired...I have two guys at home, might as well stick with them

  25. #75
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    [quUOTE=Jaxspra]I am joining the "man hater" club....

    [/QUOTE]

    For comic relief, I am starting to think of getting myself one of the tshirts with this on it.



    Posted not in a misogynistic or gay way. Not that there is anything wrong with that, well maybe there is something wrong with misogyny.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

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