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Thread: The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

  1. #851
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Seriously, what (would) make it a date?
    If you end up getting laid?
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  2. #852
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Ha ha.

    Contra dance partner rules: if he dances more than one number with me after the first, and both waltzes. (Of course we'll do the last one!)

    And if non-Hershey's kisses come into play, it's a date.

    I'm sure everyone will stay up late on Sunday checking this space.

  3. #853
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    I'm not ready to date yet. My divorce isn't even final. But, I've been thinking about how in the heck I'll even meet anybody to go on a date with. I don't do the whole bar scene anymore. I don't have any real friends locally. I really have no desire to sign up on eHarmony or Match or anything.

    I don't need a man to make me happy. And I look forward to just focusing on me and my girls and doing what I want when I want. But, I don't really want to go the rest of my life with no male companionship.

  4. #854
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    I'm not ready to date yet. My divorce isn't even final. But, I've been thinking about how in the heck I'll even meet anybody to go on a date with. I don't do the whole bar scene anymore. I don't have any real friends locally. I really have no desire to sign up on eHarmony or Match or anything.

    I don't need a man to make me happy. And I look forward to just focusing on me and my girls and doing what I want when I want. But, I don't really want to go the rest of my life with no male companionship.
    Take your time. I waited about a year after the divorce. You'll know when you're ready. I am not a bar person either and relatively new to this area but you still meet people through pursuing your own interests and doing things you enjoy.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  5. #855
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    I'm not ready to date yet. My divorce isn't even final. But, I've been thinking about how in the heck I'll even meet anybody to go on a date with. I don't do the whole bar scene anymore. I don't have any real friends locally. I really have no desire to sign up on eHarmony or Match or anything.

    I don't need a man to make me happy. And I look forward to just focusing on me and my girls and doing what I want when I want. But, I don't really want to go the rest of my life with no male companionship.
    You don't have to date yet. This may even be a time when your girls need to know that they are your priority, You'll know when the time is right.

  6. #856
    Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator NHPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    I'm not ready to date yet. My divorce isn't even final. But, I've been thinking about how in the heck I'll even meet anybody to go on a date with. I don't do the whole bar scene anymore. I don't have any real friends locally. I really have no desire to sign up on eHarmony or Match or anything.

    I don't need a man to make me happy. And I look forward to just focusing on me and my girls and doing what I want when I want. But, I don't really want to go the rest of my life with no male companionship.
    You will know when the time is right. I was not really looking for anything when I met my current wife....which was actually before my divorce (and hers) were finalized (but well after I had separated from the ex). It just clicked....and I knew I was ready.
    "Growth is inevitable and desirable, but destruction of community character is not. The question is not whether your part of the world is going to change. The question is how." -- Edward T. McMahon, The Conservation Fund

  7. #857
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    Yeah.. I don't care to meet anybody now. I'm not ready to date yet. I'm just wondering about how single moms with no real social life even meet somebody, though.

  8. #858
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    Yeah.. I don't care to meet anybody now. I'm not ready to date yet. I'm just wondering about how single moms with no real social life even meet somebody, though.
    Yeah, I wonder how that happens, too. And I'm a construction inspector and am around men every day (not that I could ethically date any of them, but it gives me experience in talking to men).

    A man in the dental waiting room struck up a conversation with me yesterday, but he talked about his own divorce, and a little about his new girlfriend. Mostly, he still needs to talk about his divorce, I guess. Again, practice carrying on a conversation with someone I don't know.

    My boys feel so abandoned by their dad that I'm not sure that they are ready for me to date, and they are my priority.

  9. #859
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
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    So many rules...

    Quote Originally posted by The One View post
    So many rules..... Seana is even more complex than I had been led to believe Still, I would listen to her.....something tells me she's right......always
    This is a legitimately GREAT question -- what makes a date??
    I imagine you'll know by the end of the evening, unless he is of the slow-boat-to-China mindset like my non-boyfriend is. A kiss is a good sign (definitely a date) but for a first date, there may be no kissing. Hmmm, I'm not a dancer so I can't use that to gauge (tho apparently Seana is up on that scene, anyway) . The fact that he's rearranged his schedule for you is good, as is driving with no gas money changing hands. Hmmm.
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  10. #860
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    I say just don't over think if it is a date or not a date, go out and have a great time. You'll know if it's a date at the end of the night!
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  11. #861
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    I'm just wondering about how single moms with no real social life even meet somebody, though.
    Cyburbia. You just gotta meet him before he meets anyone else.

  12. #862
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    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    I think what Seana is trying to say is that a contra dance is not the most intimate affair. Sort of kin to a bunch of teenagers going on a group date to the bowling alley. Obviously it is much more than that, but that's all that I could come up with.

    An evening where all of your attention was on him, and vice-versa, that would be "date".
    Bingo!



    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    If you end up getting laid?
    Maybe a date, maybe a hookup.



    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Seriously, what (would) make it a date?
    Nothing, because the infrastructure of your field trip is not that way.

    As soon as you get home tonight, cancel your current Sunday plans in a friendly email:
    "I'm contra danced-out. See ya at the next one."

    If he writes/calls back with, "We don't have to contra dance, we can do something else"--now that is probably a date.

    Otherwise, well, it happened to Jennifer Aniston too.



    Quote Originally posted by btrage View post
    ...(says the guy who hasn't been on a "date" in almost 9 years ).
    You go on dates with your wife! (Don't you?)



    Quote Originally posted by The One View post
    So many rules..... Seana is even more complex than I had been led to believe Still, I would listen to her.....something tells me she's right......always
    Thanks for the... I don't know... actually, yes, I do.

  13. #863
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Seana View post
    ...
    Nothing, because the infrastructure of your field trip is not that way.

    As soon as you get home tonight, cancel your current Sunday plans in a friendly email:
    "I'm contra danced-out. See ya at the next one."

    If he writes/calls back with, "We don't have to contra dance, we can do something else"--now that is probably a date.

    Otherwise, well, it happened to Jennifer Aniston too. ...
    Are you on crack???? Cancel it?!?!?

    I want to go to the long-distance dance. I'd be going (by myself) anyway. I invited Kiss! Man, and he wants to go. My short-term goal is not dating, it's going to this contra dance. Kiss! Man is icing on the cake.

    (Tonight's callers: two beginners, one really new. What Lloyd Bentsen said about Dan Quayle. I was editing videos of my mentor last night -- he comes out to my dance group once a year -- and I Can Not Wait for Sunday.)

    Now, about the dude...tonight was flirt city. We got in a last waltz; I said you have chocolate on your breath. He said (paraphrasing) since he couldn't get any kisses from me, he found some in the snacks.
    There's waltzing and there's waltzing. You can be chilly and polite and keep someone at arm's length...or you can pull into some tight twirls (in swing dance, it's called a cuddle) and keep doing the slow 1-2-3 1-2-3. Breathing chocolate on me.
    That was after we danced as partners once (he took his glasses off, does that mean anything?) and in the same sets several times. Why, I might have even participated in some double entendre banter!

    A whole bunch of us teenagers went out in a group afterwards....

  14. #864
    Cyburbian
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    Don't cancel it!!

  15. #865
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    ...I'm just wondering about how single moms with no real social life even meet somebody, though.
    • Parents Without Partners (there's a chapter near you)
    • School activities (plenty of single dads there)
    • Brownies Scouts (ditto)
    • The produce aisle, the snacks & beer aisle
    I strike up conversations with total strangers at the grocery. Cart packed with party goods: "hey, I misplaced your address. And what time does the party start?" Once this worked really well; the graduate's mom decided I would be fun to add to the mix of high-schoolers. I didn't go, but it passed the time in the check-out line.
    A single guy with a couple days worth of Soup for One: "I am so sorry." (Those were Fred Thompson's wife's first words to him.)

    Last night at the afterglow we were talking about How To Get More Fellas to come Contra Dancing. One male participant had recommended it to a woman in his widowed group (there's a group for everything), and she brought her daughter. So he was responsible for not just one, but two extra women. I said you need different friends. He joshed about picking up men.
    So we brainstormed. Auto parts stores? Train (hobby) stores? Bicycle shops? Adult ed classes that teach a needed skill? (Do men take cooking classes to learn how to feed themselves, or to pick up babes?)
    Congregations tend to attract seekers of all sorts; mine is a whirlwind of merging and verging r'ships.

    HTH

  16. #866
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Are you on crack????
    It's not necessary to throw an insult. You can just say that you don't agree with my advice.

  17. #867
    Cyburbian Plus dandy_warhol's avatar
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    V - don't play games. just go have fun. it doesn't matter if it is a date or not, that's just a label. have fun, learn more about him and about you.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  18. #868
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    mutual dumping by email today. just could not organize things to do together and it was not that important to try.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  19. #869
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by donk View post
    mutual dumping by email today. just could not organize things to do together and it was not that important to try.
    Sometimes it's just better to let it go than drag it out.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  20. #870
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    Sometimes it's just better to let it go than drag it out.
    I am not too disappointed, we were too different of people.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  21. #871
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    I havent had an energetic date in a lonnng time.

    Ive dated a lot within the past year. Nothing really stood out though

  22. #872
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Jasmaine79 View post
    I havent had an energetic date in a lonnng time.

    Ive dated a lot within the past year. Nothing really stood out though
    god flash backs of my first year at my current job. Hang in there, i am sure mr energetic will come along soon.
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

  23. #873
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    I'm hooommmmmmeeee!

    It was a date.




    RJ, kindly get your mind out of the gutter.

  24. #874
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Nothing is better on first dates than fried chicken, butter noodles and Bronners!

    Thats how I get all my chicks!
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  25. #875
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by DetroitPlanner View post
    Nothing is better on first dates than fried chicken, butter noodles and Bronners!

    Thats how I get all my chicks!
    Throw in a meal at roscoe's chicken and waffles or "moons over my hammy" at denny's and she is a keeper!
    Men do dumb $hit... it is what they do to correct the problem that counts.

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