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Thread: The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

  1. #1076
    Cyburbian Plus
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    IP isn't the only one that has been scared away.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  2. #1077
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Im sorry if i offended anyone with my earlier post, but thats just how i see things of that nature
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  3. #1078
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    So I've been looking for some third opinion, guidance, counseling, or the like to assist with my own convoluted situation. Found it! A dear friend from church listened carefully, made some excellent points, helped me strategize some.

    I mentioned Dr Joy Browne and how I'd played that role just today (see Dear Abby thread) and my pal didn't recognize the name...but appreciated my characterization of her as a "kinder, gentler, helpful Dr Laura with a better radio voice."

    It turns out that my pal used to work as...a social worker! No wonder she's good!

  4. #1079
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I have a date tonight with someone that is openly HIV+

    I'm trying to keep an open mind, but its a bit wierd.

  5. #1080
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Chet View post
    I have a date tonight with someone that is openly HIV+

    I'm trying to keep an open mind, but its a bit wierd.
    Wow, that would be weird. How did it go?

    I have tickets to Second City this weekend wtih some friends, and they convinced me months ago to buy two tickets, saying I had a few months to get a date. So I got two tickets and no date. There are a few guys friends that I could ask, but I really don't want to. I haven't minded going solo but it's slowing getting to me.

  6. #1081
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    ...I have tickets to Second City this weekend wtih some friends, and they convinced me months ago to buy two tickets, saying I had a few months to get a date. So I got two tickets and no date. There are a few guys friends that I could ask, but I really don't want to. I haven't minded going solo but it's slowing getting to me.
    Is that in Novi? The "Kwame a River" show?

  7. #1082
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Is that in Novi? The "Kwame a River" show?
    Nah, they are coming into town actually! I was going to ask a guy friend to be my "hot non-date", but found out he already has plans. I might ask another guy friend. We'll see.....

  8. #1083
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Vel, CW has an Opera House!
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  9. #1084
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    My girlfriend back in Cleveland and I just broke up.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  10. #1085
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    is that OK?

  11. #1086
    Cyburbian natski's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    My girlfriend back in Cleveland and I just broke up.
    Oh that really sucks Dan.

    I really cant think of anything that is going to be comforting

    On a side note- yesterday was my 1 year anniversary with my BF. The longest relationship i have ever had.
    "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" Zoolander

  12. #1087
    Cyburbian
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    My girlfriend back in Cleveland and I just broke up.
    I'm sorry, Dan.

  13. #1088
    Cyburbian dandy_warhol's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    My girlfriend back in Cleveland and I just broke up.
    that stinks. sorry to hear it.
    In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King Jr.

  14. #1089
    Cyburbian Plus Whose Yur Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    My girlfriend back in Cleveland and I just broke up.
    Sorry to hear that as well.
    When did I go from Luke Skywalker to Obi-Wan Kenobi?

  15. #1090
    Cyburbian Plus Salmissra's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dan View post
    My girlfriend back in Cleveland and I just broke up.
    OUCH!! I'm very sorry to hear that.
    "We do not need any other Tutankhamun's tomb with all its treasures. We need context. We need understanding. We need knowledge of historical events to tie them together. We don't know much. Of course we know a lot, but it is context that's missing, not treasures." - Werner Herzog, in Archaeology, March/April 2011

  16. #1091
    Cyburbian rcgplanner's avatar
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    I am very sorry to hear that Dan. I know that was one of your big concerns while looking for a job and eventually moving to Texas. So clique so it may not help, but everything happens for a reason. It sucks for now, but I try to keep that thought in mind while going through tough times.


    My patience is wearing very thin with the GF. I am getting very tired of being the only one who is working. It gets old having to do dishes, so I have enough clean dishes to make dinner. It's sad that she comes to bed at 5am, when I have to be up at 6 am. (I miss falling asleep with her next to me).

    I love her so much, but I am just tired of feeling like the only one who tries. (we have been together for over 2 years now). Anytime we discuss this, it always ends up in an argument. One of the difficulties with her not working is we have only had one car for the last year and a half. I finally used my tax refund and bought a used car a few weeks ago, which is now in the shop, darn check engine light. Once we get 2 cars up and running I am giving the GF an ultimatum to get a job or move back up north with her sister. I can't be the only one who is a part of the relationship anymore. Sorry, I just needed to vent!

  17. #1092
    Cyburbia Administrator Dan's avatar
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    Thanks, all. The breakup was mutual and amicable, and we're still going to keep in touch. I was bracing myself for this for a while, so I'm not really depressed. Just kind of down, like there's a huge new void in my life. I generally go years between relationships, so it's not likely I'll meet the next Ms. Right in the coming months.

    Basically, the big thing, at least on my side, was that I couldn't put my life on hold for a year or more for the remote chance that she would actually move to Austin. She was going to look for a job in her field Cleveland after she got out of grad school. If she couldn't find a job in her field, she'd look for something related in Cleveland. Only if she couldn't find anything would she consider moving to Austin. Austin would have been a perfect fit for her as a city, IMHO, but she was very, very reluctant to move because her entire family is in the Cleveland area, and she's quite close with them.

    On her end, it's my ambivalence towards children in the future. If we have kids, great. If not, that's fine, too. However, I don't want my life to be a cycle of just work, fatherhood, sleep. I won't comment more on that, because I don't want to make her personal life public and Google-able.
    Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. -- Edward Abbey

  18. #1093
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    When you go out on the prowl locally, you could impress the big-hairs with your stylin' new threads.

    Post a pic, already.

  19. #1094
    Cyburbian cch's avatar
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    My soon-to-be ex was raving to me earlier about match.com. I guess he's gone on a couple dates with girls he met on there, and didn't hit it off with either one, but he said there are 100s more girls, and it is fun just meeting new people and having someone to go out to dinner with. He's really urging me hard to sign up on there. But, like I've mentioned before, the idea of dating somebody just sounds like a headache right now and I like focusing my limited free time on myself.

    Anyway, I got to wondering... how do single guys with no kids REALLY feel about getting involved with somebody who does have kids? I'm guessing that some guys would have a problem knowing that they will never be my #1 priority, and the fact that I'd only be free to hang out every-other weekend (unless they became special enough to me that I eventually involve them in my daughters' lives). There should be a dating site specifically for single-parents. Or maybe there is... I don't know. I sort of feel like I'd be most comfortable dating someone who had kids themselves, cause they'd "get it".

    rcgplanner, she doesn't work or contribute financially? She doesn't cook or do the dishes? She stays up till 5 am (and then sleeps all day, I presume), and never goes to bed with you? I'm surprised you have any patience left at all! Who cares if it causes an argument. It merits an argument, in my opinion. She must get angry when you threaten to put an end to her lazy lifestyle, huh. If you have trouble sticking with your ultimatum, just remember that all of cyburbia is backing you up. .

  20. #1095
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    ... all of cyburbia is backing you up. .
    Dat's right!

  21. #1096
    Cyburbian rcgplanner's avatar
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    Thanks you guys! I am grateful for the support. My thinking is that once we have 2 cars, she has NO excuse for not working. If she doesn't want to find a job, then she is telling me that she doesn't want to be with me. BTW, Second Life is one of the worse things for a relationship, (that is why she is up all hours of the night)!

  22. #1097
    Cyburbian btrage's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by rcgplanner View post
    Thanks you guys! I am grateful for the support. My thinking is that once we have 2 cars, she has NO excuse for not working. If she doesn't want to find a job, then she is telling me that she doesn't want to be with me. BTW, Second Life is one of the worse things for a relationship, (that is why she is up all hours of the night)!
    Any chance she's having a "virtual affair".

    If you think it's far-fetched, Google "Second Life affair".
    "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

  23. #1098
    Cyburbian DetroitPlanner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    Anyway, I got to wondering... how do single guys with no kids REALLY feel about getting involved with somebody who does have kids? I'm guessing that some guys would have a problem knowing that they will never be my #1 priority, and the fact that I'd only be free to hang out every-other weekend (unless they became special enough to me that I eventually involve them in my daughters' lives). There should be a dating site specifically for single-parents. Or maybe there is... I don't know. I sort of feel like I'd be most comfortable dating someone who had kids themselves, cause they'd "get it".
    I don't have a problem with it. Then again I don't go chasing after 20 year olds and would assume many women in my age range would have kids. I am more concerned about behaviours that would drive me batty (obsessive texting, massive debt issues, no clear direction, 'testing me')!
    We hope for better things; it will arise from the ashes - Fr Gabriel Richard 1805

  24. #1099
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    Anyway, I got to wondering... how do single guys with no kids REALLY feel about getting involved with somebody who does have kids? I'm guessing that some guys would have a problem knowing that they will never be my #1 priority, and the fact that I'd only be free to hang out every-other weekend (unless they became special enough to me that I eventually involve them in my daughters' lives). . I sort of feel like I'd be most comfortable dating someone who had kids themselves, cause they'd "get it".
    Quote Originally posted by DetroitPlanner View post
    I don't have a problem with it. Then again I don't go chasing after 20 year olds and would assume many women in my age range would have kids. I am more concerned about behaviours that would drive me batty (obsessive texting, massive debt issues, no clear direction, 'testing me')!
    cch is talking about me. I would be just lucky enough if a women w/kids would be willing to share/include me in their lives.
    Agree w/ DetroitPlanner however 20 y.o. could be/are old enough if I had a daughter.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

  25. #1100
    Cyburbian Raf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by cch View post
    Anyway, I got to wondering... how do single guys with no kids REALLY feel about getting involved with somebody who does have kids? I'm guessing that some guys would have a problem knowing that they will never be my #1 priority, and the fact that I'd only be free to hang out every-other weekend (unless they became special enough to me that I eventually involve them in my daughters' lives). There should be a dating site specifically for single-parents. Or maybe there is... I don't know. I sort of feel like I'd be most comfortable dating someone who had kids themselves, cause they'd "get it".
    When i was single i didn't have a problem with it. I specifically when it to it on 2 occasions. One of the gals wanted me to meet their son really bad, i was kinda of against it because it was early on on the dating thing (didn't last that much longer) and quite frankly she just wanted a dude to be father figure, which i didn't mind, but at the age of 23, was not the "father figure" type. The second gal didn't want to introduce me to her two girls (which again, i was ok with) and she was about 3 years older than me but what bothered me was the sneaking in and out of the house after they got to bed, etc just to avoid dealing with "who is this guy issues because daddy asks all the time about guys mom brings over". Needless to say, that didn't last long either.

    Some guys were up for it (like myself) others will run into that problem. Obviously guys who have kids understand, but so do guys who don't. They are called mature guys (which if they do exisit you may need to explain this to all your gal pals).
    follow me on the twitter @rcplans

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