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Thread: The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

  1. #1151
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    Yep, I had a 1968 Chevelle in HS and first couple years in college which I used on several dates - some good & some VERY good ones if I recall correctly.
    (just trying to bring this back on topic)
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  2. #1152
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Worst. proposition. ever.

    Background: crossed paths with this guy on the Plenty of Fish dating site. At the time I had one of my fiddle pics up, and it got his attention. (We're the same age, he also plays folk music, cycling, etc.) We've exchanged maybe five e-mails over the last couple of years, and several months ago we talked on the phone for maybe 15 minutes. He's on Pacific time... and km distance, C degrees, and Cdn $.

    Four days ago he sent out a group e-mail explaining that he was touring across Canada, hoped to reach the east coast. It took two days of driving before he realized that he needed to buy a road map.

    Two days ago he messaged me saying he was on his way to - yikes - my town. "I thought perhaps to stay a night in a motel, perhaps Tues pm, and take you out, play some music etc. Could I have your phone number again, please? I can phone you when I'm closer."
    Er, apparently he forgot to bring his mobile phone.

    Today I get this one:
    "I jammed, and I'm so sorry.
    I got as far as Thunder Bay and felt miserable driving (although I pooted around on my bicycle a few times), and got tired living out of the van, not shaving or bathing etc. I turned around, and am now in Medicine Hat, Alberta, heading to Vancouver.
    If you like, I can put in up to $1000 to fly you to the coast for a holiday. I'd like to see you. Let me know and we can work out details."

    As my dear departed mother used to say, "I can't imagine why he's still single."

  3. #1153
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    ^^ Yeah that's a candidate ripe for the "Next!" treatment. Much of the time I think being single is just easier.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  4. #1154
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
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    Have him send you the money! A vacation (as long as it's not in his house) sounds great!!

    (ok, maybe not all-together sane, but...)
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  5. #1155
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    If he really had $1000 for a trip (and you'd have to buy, and he'd forget to reimburse you...) he wouldn't be living out of his van. Nothing says "I'm a loser" like "I haven't had a bath in days". Yuck. Even $16 a night campgrounds have showers.

    Pass on this one...

  6. #1156
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    ^^ Gee, and I just about finished packing for the trip. (kidding.)

    When he'd sent that first "I'm traveling" message, I replied with a helpful hint from Veloise: truckstops have showers. They are clean (cleaner than my bathroom at home). Inexpensive. Grab a coffee while you're there, pick up a set of girly mudflaps, use all the hot water if you want.

    It's funny; I am on day 3.5 of a houseguest, a long-time buddy from Detroit who's in town for a teacher's workshop. She's a dear. Not only did she bring a cooler of her own food, she also brought her own linens. Said she has a visiting kit with a sleep mask, meds, pillow, you name it. Also, reading material, she printed out maps to my house and the workshop site, and she probably even brought her own lightbulb. The gal is a veteran camper; I am impressed.

    And no, she doesn't have a brother! :-/

  7. #1157
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    ^^ Gee, and I just about finished packing for the trip. (kidding.)

    When he'd sent that first "I'm traveling" message, I replied with a helpful hint from Veloise: truckstops have showers. They are clean (cleaner than my bathroom at home). Inexpensive. Grab a coffee while you're there, pick up a set of girly mudflaps, use all the hot water if you want.

    It's funny; I am on day 3.5 of a houseguest, a long-time buddy from Detroit who's in town for a teacher's workshop. She's a dear. Not only did she bring a cooler of her own food, she also brought her own linens. Said she has a visiting kit with a sleep mask, meds, pillow, you name it. Also, reading material, she printed out maps to my house and the workshop site, and she probably even brought her own lightbulb. The gal is a veteran camper; I am impressed.

    And no, she doesn't have a brother! :-/
    Damn. She needs to train a few houseguests I've had.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  8. #1158
    Cyburbian Plus Shellac And Vinyl VelocitY's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Worst. proposition. ever.
    He has Canadian citizenship? That's good enough for me. I'll buy a house in Toronto and marry him for the health care. I'm no ball'n chain gal; he can continue to stay... wherever he camps out.

  9. #1159
    Cyburbian donk's avatar
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    I'll share some good news, I've been dating a wonderful woman since april. crazy amount in common and we both accept and are willing to put up with eachother's oddities. time will tell.
    Too lazy to beat myself up for being to lazy to beat myself up for being too lazy to... well you get the point....

  10. #1160
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by donk View post
    I'll share some good news, I've been dating a wonderful woman since april. crazy amount in common and we both accept and are willing to put up with eachother's oddities. time will tell.
    I am happy for you
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  11. #1161
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    YAY Donk, hope it continues to go well!

    Quote Originally posted by SW MI Planner View post
    Here's my completely hypothetical quesion of the day.... you have a good friend of the opposite sex that you've known for a long time. Always been platonic and you've gone out for drinks a few times just the two of you. Well, the last time, the friend ends up paying the whole night, even though you try. At the end of the night, the friend kisses you and you end up making out. Completely sober. Opinions as to motive/intent? Anyone?
    When will I learn to not post this stuff?! It's like keeping a bad journal and not being able to get rid of it.... Basically, kept hanging out with said "hypothetical" friend mentioned in the above Feb post. Known him for ten years, gotten to be better friends the past year, started dating in April. Tons in common, a lot alike, but both quite busy and freaked out about relationships. Today we have the conversation that if it goes further, which scares the hell out of both of us, we might not end up as friends, and we both are scared to get kids involved, and he doesn't know what to do. I told him I'm a hell of a catch (hahahah) but that I wasn't going to convince anyone they should be with me, and basically I feel the same way he does (about being scared, etc.). It's kind of time to go to the next level, but its scary. So, it ended with him saying that right now maybe we should just be friends. Blah. I feel like I have lost my right arm or something.

  12. #1162
    Cyburbian Planit's avatar
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    SW;
    Keep it as "friends" right now and keep hanging out every so often. You both are scared and you've only been dating for four months. It will happen, but not by forcing or pushing anything. Enjoy each other's company, open conversation and such. He values your firendship and that can evolve.
    "Whatever beer I'm drinking, is better than the one I'm not." DMLW
    "Budweiser sells a product they reflectively insist on calling beer." John Oliver

  13. #1163
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    For those going the online dating route who aren't yet hooked up:
    Online Dating Advice: Exactly What To Say In A First Message
    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/20...first-message/

  14. #1164
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    The Planets were (almost) in alignment

    Not so much along the usual lines of 'dating support group' stuff we see here, but a story of a (almost) great date I thought I'd share.

    Getting lucky - One time as a college freshman I screwed up the courage to ask out a grad student on an actual ‘date’ date. I should say for the record that I have never been a big fan of the ritualistic aspects of relationships i.e. courting behavior codes. So for me to do this was something of an effort. To my amazement and pleasure she actually agreed to go watch a hockey game with me. I picked her up at her place, but was running rather late – a bit of a problem when it came to the whole parking issue, as anyone knows who has ever driven to a sporting event. We got there 5 minutes after the game started and I’d resigned myself to the idea that I’d end up walking a quarter mile through slushy parking lots. By some miracle, though, as I was going to drop her off at the front door I noticed the CLOSEST parking space to the entrance was available and quickly snapped it up. As we were heading to the ticket counter a horrible realization dawned on me – I had forgotten to stop by the bank earlier to get money! As I pulled my wallet out in a frantic effort to check the coin pouch and every nook and cranny for any money at all I noticed from the corner of my eye…..a $20 bill someone had dropped on the sidewalk! Enough for decent seats near one of the goals. As I recall it was a closely matched contest with lots of interesting things happening, like scoring during the other team’s power plays and such. Anywho, the gods were truly smiling on me that evening because in the final minutes of the game an errant slapshot went careening over the Plexiglas and I caught/intercepted the puck a foot in front of my date’s face! She was relieved, impressed, and grateful. I am sorry to have to disappoint those of you who believed this anecdote was going to culminate in perfect symmetry, but sadly the one way in which I did not get lucky that night was in the ‘getting lucky’ department!

  15. #1165
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Anywho, the gods were truly smiling on me that evening because in the final minutes of the game an errant slapshot went careening over the Plexiglas and I caught/intercepted the puck a foot in front of my date’s face!
    You got a lucky puck. Did you keep it?

    Off-topic:
    I'll leave it to others to indulge in crudity here. I'm much too sophisticated to even think like that.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  16. #1166
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister View post
    Not so much along the usual lines of 'dating support group' stuff we see here, but a story of a (almost) great date I thought I'd share.

    Getting lucky - One time as a college freshman I screwed up the courage to ask out a grad student on an actual ‘date’ date. I should say for the record that I have never been a big fan of the ritualistic aspects of relationships i.e. courting behavior codes. So for me to do this was something of an effort. To my amazement and pleasure she actually agreed to go watch a hockey game with me. I picked her up at her place, but was running rather late – a bit of a problem when it came to the whole parking issue, as anyone knows who has ever driven to a sporting event. We got there 5 minutes after the game started and I’d resigned myself to the idea that I’d end up walking a quarter mile through slushy parking lots. By some miracle, though, as I was going to drop her off at the front door I noticed the CLOSEST parking space to the entrance was available and quickly snapped it up. As we were heading to the ticket counter a horrible realization dawned on me – I had forgotten to stop by the bank earlier to get money! As I pulled my wallet out in a frantic effort to check the coin pouch and every nook and cranny for any money at all I noticed from the corner of my eye…..a $20 bill someone had dropped on the sidewalk! Enough for decent seats near one of the goals. As I recall it was a closely matched contest with lots of interesting things happening, like scoring during the other team’s power plays and such. Anywho, the gods were truly smiling on me that evening because in the final minutes of the game an errant slapshot went careening over the Plexiglas and I caught/intercepted the puck a foot in front of my date’s face! She was relieved, impressed, and grateful. I am sorry to have to disappoint those of you who believed this anecdote was going to culminate in perfect symmetry, but sadly the one way in which I did not get lucky that night was in the ‘getting lucky’ department!
    This belongs in the Whopper thread.
    Maister, do you really expect anybody to believe this story? You think we're that gullible, Balloon Boy?

  17. #1167
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by RichmondJake View post
    This belongs in the Whopper thread.
    Then it's a good thing I didn't tell about the one (yeah it happened once ya know) that did end up with me 'getting lucky'

  18. #1168
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    I firmly believe that women have majority control over the "getting lucky" factor.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  19. #1169
    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek View post
    I firmly believe that women have majority control over the "getting lucky" factor.
    Truer words were never spoken.
    On pitching to Stan Musial:
    "Once he timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy."
    Warren Spahn

  20. #1170
    Cyburbian Veloise's avatar
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    Nipping it in the bud

    Some weeks (months?) back I ran into a guy I know from folk dancing at the grocers. We chatted. Moments later, a gal from my church joined us (bringing items to place into his -- their -- cart). More pleasantries exchanged.

    Time passed, and he suddenly began to call and e-mail me. Happened to mention that he's been living with her, and is moving out due to a flare-up of her thyroid condition. (???)

    This is not going anywhere:
    --Bad listener. I make a casual comment, and he runs away with it. Other comments, he doesn't follow or hear or recall.

    --He talks a lot (see above).

    --If I'm sleep-deprived, I say so once, and cut things short. I don't keep talking and repeating myself and not listening.

    --He's copying me on strange e-mails. Sent one to his daughter talking about a desk he's thinking of buying, copied me. WTF?

    --Our first (very casual) meet-up: he arrived late, no call. Ended abruptly when he looked at the clock, "I have an appointment," dashed out.

    I'm feeling rather proud of myself. I may be lonely, but I'm not desperate, and the early frustrations of trying to compromise are not going to get better. Next!

  21. #1171
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    Some weeks (months?) back I ran into a guy I know from folk dancing at the grocers. We chatted. Moments later, a gal from my church joined us (bringing items to place into his -- their -- cart). More pleasantries exchanged.

    Time passed, and he suddenly began to call and e-mail me. Happened to mention that he's been living with her, and is moving out due to a flare-up of her thyroid condition. (???)

    This is not going anywhere:
    --Bad listener. I make a casual comment, and he runs away with it. Other comments, he doesn't follow or hear or recall.

    --He talks a lot (see above).

    --If I'm sleep-deprived, I say so once, and cut things short. I don't keep talking and repeating myself and not listening.

    --He's copying me on strange e-mails. Sent one to his daughter talking about a desk he's thinking of buying, copied me. WTF?

    --Our first (very casual) meet-up: he arrived late, no call. Ended abruptly when he looked at the clock, "I have an appointment," dashed out.

    I'm feeling rather proud of myself. I may be lonely, but I'm not desperate, and the early frustrations of trying to compromise are not going to get better. Next!
    Creep-o-Meter alarm ringing loudly Steer clear.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  22. #1172
    Cyburbian SW MI Planner's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by kjelsadek
    Creep-o-Meter alarm ringing loudly Steer clear.
    Amen to that! I think too many times women make excuses for others (not just men), and sometimes we should just chalk it up to what it is and just move on.

    Quote Originally posted by Veloise View post
    I'm feeling rather proud of myself. I may be lonely, but I'm not desperate, and the early frustrations of trying to compromise are not going to get better. Next!
    Yay, that's awesome!

  23. #1173
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I have 4 dates in the next 4 days. I feel 20 again.

  24. #1174
    Cyburbian ofos's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Chet View post
    I have 4 dates in the next 4 days. I feel 20 again.
    Come back on day 5 and let us know how much you've aged.
    “Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

  25. #1175
    Cyburbian Plus
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    Is the YES lyric -
    Owner of a lonely heart
    Much better than - a
    Owner of a broken heart
    true ?

    In my case I believe it is.
    Oddball
    Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves?
    Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here?
    Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?
    From Kelly's Heroes (1970)


    Are you sure you're not hurt ?
    No. Just some parts wake up faster than others.
    Broke parts take a little longer, though.
    From Electric Horseman (1979)

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