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Thread: Moronic Moments

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    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Moronic Moments

    I came out of the mall today. It was raining and not well lit. I identified my car in the semi-dark by the California plate on the front. The only problem with that is that I got new "local" plates a couple of months or so ago. However, this state only does a license plate on the back of the car and California does one on the front and one on the back. In other words, when I got the new license plate, I switched out the back plate and didn't give it another thought. So, oops, I have been driving around with two different license plates from two different states for a couple of months. I bet law enforcement frowns on stuff like that.


    Anyone else had one of those type of moments and feel like sharing?

  2. #2
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    ...Anyone else had one of those type of moments and feel like sharing?
    My open sores are gone? Oops, wrong thread. Maybe wrong forum.

    I'll take a pic of my front license plate in the light tomorrow and post it. Only a rear plate is required in Florida.
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  3. #3
    I was once taking a flight from Toronto to Sydney, Australia, via LA, Tokyo and Kuala Lumpur. Total time of the various flights was 3 days.

    30 minutes in, I spill my red gatorade all over my off-white pants, in the crotch area. However, I had no access to my luggage, and didn't bring any change of clothes in my checked bags.

    So, I spent 3 days getting stared at on three separate continents. Not fun.

  4. #4
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Yorke790
    So, I spent 3 days getting stared at on three separate continents. Not fun.
    Gee, don't you mean "three separate in-continents..."???

  5. #5
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    I came out of the mall today. It was raining and not well lit. I identified my car in the semi-dark by the California plate on the front. The only problem with that is that I got new "local" plates a couple of months or so ago. However, this state only does a license plate on the back of the car and California does one on the front and one on the back. In other words, when I got the new license plate, I switched out the back plate and didn't give it another thought. So, oops, I have been driving around with two different license plates from two different states for a couple of months. I bet law enforcement frowns on stuff like that.


    Anyone else had one of those type of moments and feel like sharing?
    Yeah, I did this for a few months in Alberta, until I found out it's a no no. I see a lot of people doing this right now though, due to all of the in-migration occuring from other provinces..

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    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    At my second job at a restaurant tonight while I was in the office counting money I hear "Gee that bleach made the sanitizer change from red to white." I shot out of the office and looked at what happened. The idiot employee mixed powdered bleach with ammonia based sanitizer. Tried to gas us all out the kitchen.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  7. #7
    Cyburbian
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    After I had been a stay at home mom for a few years, life became so routine and mindless that several times I ran the front-loading washing machine with the door open.

  8. #8
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by nerudite
    Yeah, I did this for a few months in Alberta, until I found out it's a no no. I see a lot of people doing this right now though, due to all of the in-migration occuring from other provinces..
    That actually makes me feel better. I figured not too many other people would be so "DUH!" Knowing I'm not the only one is nice.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally posted by Zoning Goddess
    Gee, don't you mean "three separate in-continents..."???
    *groan*

  10. #10
    Cyburbian Emeritus Chet's avatar
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    I bought a used car with only one key. I kept meaning to get a spare key cut. So I was out one Friday having dinner with friends and as I got back to my car and put the key in the lock.... *SNAP* Key breaks off in the door lock. In order to get a replacement I had to take the title and my I.D. to the dealer and wait one week for it to come on a slow boat from Bavaria. The other option was to pay through the nose for a locksmith but that wouldn't have saved alot of time. Since I had two cars, I chose the slow boat option. And even though I was in a time limited parking area, I was able to call the police and they agreed not to ticket me. I still felt like I had a big "L" on my forehead. That was a year ago. I just got a 2nd key cut last week.

  11. #11
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Chet
    I bought a used car with only one key. I kept meaning to get a spare key cut. So I was out one Friday having dinner with friends and as I got back to my car and put the key in the lock.... *SNAP* Key breaks off in the door lock. In order to get a replacement I had to take the title and my I.D. to the dealer and wait one week for it to come on a slow boat from Bavaria. The other option was to pay through the nose for a locksmith but that wouldn't have saved alot of time. Since I had two cars, I chose the slow boat option. And even though I was in a time limited parking area, I was able to call the police and they agreed not to ticket me. I still felt like I had a big "L" on my forehead. That was a year ago. I just got a 2nd key cut last week.
    Good lord, that's funny.

    Update on my deal: When I went to remove the old plate, I got both screws out and it wouldn't budge. It had been squished onto some bolt so thoroughly that you could see the shape of the bolt through it and I had to pry the darn thing off!

  12. #12
    Chairman of the bored Maister's avatar
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    After Stanfest Dan and I went to another bar later that evening. I managed to get pulled over for speeding (driving a rental car) on the way over and afterwards as we were leaving I must have spent two minutes f-ing around with the key trying to get back into the locked car......yep, Dan was first to figure out it wasn't the right car

    I'm sure in both cases he was deeply impressed
    Last edited by Maister; 24 Jul 2006 at 9:37 AM.
    People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

  13. #13
    Cyburbian Otis's avatar
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    I just had a truly moronic moment this morning. I was going to fry some eggs for breakfast. Of the half dozen eggs in the carton, one was stuck due to a minor crack that had glued it in. I broke it trying to take it out. I decided to just tip the carton over and pour the broken egg into the frying pan. I neglected to remember that the other five eggs were not glued into the carton. They all fell into the pan and broke. The dog got to have a few fried eggs for breakfast, too.

  14. #14
    Mrs G relates a story about a co-worker buying a condo. He gets settled in on moving day and decides to have a beer out on the veranda. As he walks to the railing he hears the "click" of the door and realizes that it has just locked behind him. Of course, the key is inside. There's nothing to do but to climb down to the veranda below and ask for help.

    The neighbors said they'd never been introduced to anyone that way before. I say, thank goodness he wasn't in his boxers, or worse...

  15. #15
    Cyburbian jordanb's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Michele Zone
    I came out of the mall today. It was raining and not well lit. I identified my car in the semi-dark by the California plate on the front. The only problem with that is that I got new "local" plates a couple of months or so ago. However, this state only does a license plate on the back of the car and California does one on the front and one on the back.
    When one of my (blond ) aunts moved back to Illinois from another state where they didn't need front plates, she couldn't figure out why the DMV sent her two plates.

    Figuring the second plate was a spare she threw it out.

    I heard it cost her a lot of money to get that fixed.
    Reality does not conform to your ideology.
    http://neighborhoods.chicago.il.us Photographs of Life in the Neighborhoods of Chicago
    http://hafd.org/~jordanb/ Pretentious Weblog.

  16. #16
    Cyburbian Bubba's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker
    Mrs G relates a story about a co-worker buying a condo. He gets settled in on moving day and decides to have a beer out on the veranda. As he walks to the railing he hears the "click" of the door and realizes that it has just locked behind him. Of course, the key is inside. There's nothing to do but to climb down to the veranda below and ask for help.
    That's awesome...one of my co-workers did pretty much the exact same thing about four years ago after moving into an apartment. I'll have to tell her she's not alone in the world.
    I found you a new motto from a sign hanging on their wall…"Drink coffee: do stupid things faster and with more energy"

  17. #17
    Cyburbian michaelskis's avatar
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    I am sure that most of us have accidentally walked into the wrong restroom at a public place only to get two steps in and realize it, then all red faced walked to the correct restroom.

    One day in college while working at the ski hill, I went to use the men’s room (which also had a bench to change) and a women was in there changing. She yelled at me, so I just turned and pointed at the urinals on the wall. She then thanked me grabbing the “Restroom Closed for Cleaning” sign and closed it until she was done.
    Not my monkey, not my circus. - Old Polish Proverb

  18. #18
    NIMBY asshatterer Plus Richmond Jake's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker
    Mrs G relates a story about a co-worker buying a condo. He gets settled in on moving day and decides to have a beer out on the veranda. As he walks to the railing he hears the "click" of the door and realizes that it has just locked behind him. Of course, the key is inside. There's nothing to do but to climb down to the veranda below and ask for help.

    The neighbors said they'd never been introduced to anyone that way before. I say, thank goodness he wasn't in his boxers, or worse...
    I did something similar when I was in a condo the last place I worked in California. I went to check the mail and the self-closing, self-locking door closed behind me. Fortunately, my condo was on the first floor and I had left my bedroom window open. I removed the screen and climbed in. Because the window faced the street, I was sure somebody saw me and called the police. Sure enough, officers showed up at my door within 10 minutes. From that day forward, my mail box key was added to my keychain.
    RJ is the KING of . The One

  19. #19
    Cyburbian Plus Zoning Goddess's avatar
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    TN, sc, and I have a friend who has so many moronic moments we call her "Duh-lene".

    One of my favorites was when a guy in our utilities dept kicked a guy out who had walked past the customer service desk and headed straight for the utility director's office. The strange guy was not amused. After that, all the county commissioners' pictures were posted prominently in the utility dept hallway...

    A couple weeks ago, I did just like one of those internet commercials, and tried to change the t.v. channel using my cell phone.

    When I ran a small bookstore in a little town, I was working alone on a quiet Sunday afternoon. Seeing nobody in the store, I locked up quick and ran two doors down in the shopping center for a soft drink. When I got back, a woman was beating on the door of the bookstore from the inside. Yup, she'd been looking at some books on a lower shelf, I didn't see her, and locked her in.

  20. #20
    Cyburbian Michele Zone's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Gedunker
    Mrs G relates a story about a co-worker buying a condo. He gets settled in on moving day and decides to have a beer out on the veranda. As he walks to the railing he hears the "click" of the door and realizes that it has just locked behind him. Of course, the key is inside. There's nothing to do but to climb down to the veranda below and ask for help.

    The neighbors said they'd never been introduced to anyone that way before. I say, thank goodness he wasn't in his boxers, or worse...
    In Germany, the apartments typically had "skeleton" style keys for all doors, including internal doors (like to the bedrooms). You could lock it from inside or out. My very difficult oldest child was routinely locked in his bedroom at bed time because it was absolutly the only way he would go to sleep. I routinely left the key in the lock because there was something jammed in the lock and it was difficult to remove -- until he locked me in his bedroom one day. After that, I found a new place to store the key -- one out of his reach.

    And I was: 6 months pregnant, in a nightgown torn up both sides to nearly the hip (cuz I could not get comfortable in my sleep while pregnant), without panties, on the third floor. It would have been impossible to climb down and probably grounds for arrest for flashing if I had managed it.

    (I've kind of told this story before, so foregive me if you remember it.)

    Quote Originally posted by jordanb
    When one of my (blond ) aunts moved back to Illinois from another state where they didn't need front plates, she couldn't figure out why the DMV sent her two plates.

    Figuring the second plate was a spare she threw it out.

    I heard it cost her a lot of money to get that fixed.
    I'm apparently not THAT stupid.

  21. #21
    Super Moderator kjel's avatar
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    I was 19 when this happened.....My daughter was about two weeks old at the time and we were living with my mother in a manufactured house (ok it was a trailer, but new!) which was set up on blocks so the windows were about 6 feet above ground. Someone had knocked on the front door and I opened it and the screen door to see what they wanted. My mom's cat ran out between my legs and through the yard. Since kitty was a house cat and declawed I chased after him. I caught him and went back up the steps to the door to find the inside door had blown shut from the wind. It was locked. I went around to the back and it was locked. No phone, no cell phone, mom at work, no neighbors home, no ladder to be able to access a window that was slightly open, and a two week old baby taking a nap and me in a bathrobe outside with a cat in hand. I found a workman and ask to use his ladder telling him I locked myself out of the house. Turns out he was a manufactured home installer and had a set of master keys that could unlock most types of locks. I was so grateful to be let in because my daughter was screaming, the cat squirming, and I was freezing. I took the man some brownies later in the day. We put a set of key under the house after that.
    "He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?" Jeremiah 22:16

  22. #22
    Cyburbian RandomPlanner's avatar
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    "Can you hold this?"

    I was 16or17 and was coming out of work one night and started my car. I then realized that my sister and friend were parked next to me and waiting for me to notice them. Since it was cold, I wanted to let the car heat up, so I put it into nuetral (standard transmission, of course) and got out to chat with them.
    Well. it took too long to get to the front of my little car and then I realized that it was rolling -- at about the same speed I was walking. By this point, I had made it to the front end, so I grabbed the hood to stop the car, but I couldn't figure out what to do then. My sister was laughing hysterically when I called out "come and hold this" so I could get in and pull up the emergency break. To this day, she still has not let me live that one down !
    Quote Originally posted by Chet
    I bought a used car with only one key. I kept meaning to get a spare key cut. So I was out one Friday having dinner with friends and as I got back to my car and put the key in the lock.... *SNAP* Key breaks off in the door lock. ....
    I had a car once where I had broken off a key in every single keyhole on the vehicle. We didn't bother to fix it; you could still lock everything and start/shut off the engine -- you just needed a quarter to twist the lock into position.
    How do I know you are who you think you are?

  23. #23
    Cyburbian nerudite's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Maister
    ... afterwards as we were leaving I must have spent two minutes f-ing around with the key trying to get back into the locked car......yep, Dan was first to figure out it wasn't the right car
    That happened to me in the morning a few days ago. We were both so tired that we stopped at Timmie's for a coffee. Walking back out to the car, I kept trying the lock and it wouldn't work. Finally, my husband looked at me and said it wasn't our car. I looked closer and realized that I don't have a sunroof. My car was a few stalls down. And I couldn't even blame it on drinking too much or that it was a rental car.

  24. #24
    Cyburbian zman's avatar
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    Someone started a pot of coffee this morning at work... without putting the pot on the burner.
    Imagine finding that the cup of coffee you so deseratrly need is all over the counter and the floor.
    You get all squeezed up inside/Like the days were carved in stone/You get all wired up inside/And it's bad to be alone

    You can go out, you can take a ride/And when you get out on your own/You get all smoothed out inside/And it's good to be alone
    -Peart

  25. #25
    Cyburbian
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    Where would I start?

    Locked the keys in the car with the car still running. We had just purchased our house and were doing some remodeling before we moved in. The local home depot was open 24 hours, so at 3:00 a.m. I ran to home depot to get some plumbing parts. Had to call the wife and wake her up to let me into the car. When she got there, I realized that the passenger side door was not locked.

    When I was about 8 years old, my dad took my duck hunting. I liked trying to shoot the bullfrogs instead of the tin can my dad told me to shoot out. I started firing without realizing wat direction I was shooting. I put 12 bullet holes in his cadillac.

    I thought it would be cool to try to jump a road once on my skis. I made it, by a long way, but landed in a river on the other side of the road. It was about 5 degrees.

    A groupd offrineds and I had just finished a back country skiing trip and had to cross a snow bridge over a river. My friends crossed without a problem. While I was on top of it, I thought to myself "I wonder how much jumping it would take to collapse the snow bridge". Answer: one jump. I got swept under the snowbank by the water and had about a 45 minute trek in a snowstorm to get back to the car. I wish I could say I was a young dumb teenager when this happened, but it was only 2 years ago.

    I oculd list a hundred of unwise ot moronic thngs done, but it is probably in my best interest to keep them to myself.

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