I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this, so although very personal, maybe a discussion will help weed through all the thoughts going through my head.
I came home from a long trip yesterday to find out that a very good friend had died. He was only 31.
Apparently he had a gran mal seizure and collapsed, with no one around. By the time he was discovered his brain had been deprived of oxygen for a significant time, resulting in an irreversible vegetative state. He couldnt breathe without the aid of a respirator.
Single, with no close family, a half-sister from out of state made the call to pull the plug. He died alone with no one at his side. With HIPAA rules it was hell getting any information about what happened. Fortunately a friend of ours is a nurse at that facility and, under the circumstances, was able to break the log jam and get social services to assist.
It gets worse. The half-sister is refusing to take possession of his remains. No obituary is planned, nor a memorial service. His remains will likely become a ward of the State for burial in a poorly marked paupers grave on the County Grounds.
The best we've been able to decipher from his personal papers, with help from his roommate, is that he has no life insurance, no will, and no significant savings. His corpse is at the County morgue awaiting a disposition. All his possessions go into probate. Even if we had the ability to get around probate and get power of attorney to tap his accounts to pay for the burial plot and service, I doubt he's got the funds for it.
Without a memorial service, none of the friends is really going to have closure. We're trying to figure out some private celebration of life, but everyone is too emotionally drained right now to think straight. This has been an exhausting, depressing, two days.